Friday, August 26, 2011
Friday Haiku
To “Search and Destroy”:
That is his endless mission
Against pubic crabs.
Frank’s like a housecat:
So proud of what he dragged in
Yet to us it’s gross
— saulgoode42
Elvis and Bono
Which one’s style to emulate?
Fuck it I’ll do both.
— Douche Wayne
Task: Search and destroy,
Bolts pointing down at his junk,
No douchey offspring
— Condouchious
cindy and kelly
ruined noses too much blow
don’t notice poo stench
— Douche Springsteen
Toxic! Says skull/bones
But its clearly on wrong boob
I’d NAIL it on him.
Frank’s like a housecat:
So proud of what he dragged in
Yet to us it’s gross
I think baseball bat
Seeing douche make kissy lips
His egg’s the softball!
Rehab cup is hip
As are sun goggles. Please God:
Ship him to Iraq!
That’s Kate and Kitty
Just in from Minnesota
They’re gonna get burned!
Joey’s gone downhill
Since Friends. Smelly Cats have dose
Of prolapse and cheese.
They say Wayne Newton
Hardest worker in Vegas
Nope: Rehab pool boy
Man, I can’t wait till this generation gets old. The freak-show is gonna be spectacular.
His ink’s a hot mess
Got it from thousand monkees
With handfuls of poo
This dude succeeds at
Making cliché ironic
And spreading herpes
Hurricane Irene
Approaches the Jersey Shore
Douchebags: grab surfboards!
Checking the pool scene;
Taint smear tatts and greasy hair;
Farm girls get ya some!
Elvis and Bono
Which one’s style to emulate?
Fuck it I’ll do both.
Spiky hair choad wank
Oblivious to gunships
Coming to destroy
Two blonde pool-side skanks
Have a shocking resemblance
To bad left chest tat
Lightning bolts on abs
Too bad they’re not the real thing
Scourge putz from our world
Search and destroy all:
Taste style decency tact thought
Job almost complete.
Smiles so vacant
Like barn on a summer day
They deserve the clap.
“Search and Destroy” fail
Not what Iggy had in mind
Rehab’s for losers
In Jon Stewart’s voice:
“Yo dawg, this Rehab is nice”
(For Deadliest Crotch!)
Task: Search and destroy,
Bolts pointing down at his junk,
No douchey offspring
sneer-faced douchebag’s skin
needle and the damage done
there is no rehab
It took a long time
To shave that ginormous chin
Now he’s got lock jaw
cindy and kelly
ruined noses too much blow
don’t notice poo stench
Betsy and Rachel
Peer over cliff of bleethdom
Pull them back from brink.
He’s a true thespian
Turned the girls lesbian
Please Irene, pass over Vegas
Souls of lost loved ones
race screaming from his chest. Damn
his kin were fugly.
Left pec on Gel-Boy,
shows duality of man,
face shows; just a cunt.
Only a wild man,
compensates for storm warnings,
with extra-hold gel.
A just God will search
and destroy this fool’s gonads
for sake of gene pool.
Bleeths will head back to
Maine with photographic proof
evolution dead.
Only thing missing
from this pic is tsunami.
How about it God?
Pirate Wench
and Leopard Bleeth
cannot stop mindless human tatt canvas
Okay, I will liet you suck it.
Pirated Boobies
And tiger breasticles can’t
Rehab the fish lips.
Rehab’s for quitters,
Girls quit being herpes-free,
He quit Burger King
Tat Douchy Mug
Man-Mayo on leopard-boob ‘s belly
Skull maam’s are yummy
Just out of rehab,
wants to reproduce with blondes.
Lightning bolts save us.
James Caan’s loser son Biff
Just wants to be unique, like
Everyone else. Fail.
Dumb blondes see cam’ra
Vacuous smiles hide dead eyes
Can’t get paid to pose
Societal smeg
Attracts bottom feeder Biff
Human race loses
As my bile wells
I seek the proper vessel
to empty my gut
A true master basks
in the glow of his own flame
Zen douchery achieved
douchebag’s tatts describe
my various expressions
to his existence
Moe Lumpcrustowitz
says, “Yo, I can bag chicks wit’
my kissy lips, too!
.
“Check it, Bro Joey!
Y’all ain’t all up in dis shit
widdout mah teachin’!”
Hey! Canadians!
Isn’t that that Cyrus dude
from Trailer Park Boys?