Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Gruber and Milya Listen to Autobahn Ja?

boom siss boom siss boom siss boom siss….

When ze rhythm hits ze sternum, Gruber cannot be responsible for ze desire to remove his shirt, Ja? He blames ze music. An ze Jews.

NOTE: The editors of HCwDB would like to apologize for making the lazy, obvious and not particularly creative joking assumption that Germans are still anti-Semites nearly seven decades after electing Adolph Hitler as their chosen messiah. This type of lazy and substandard stereotype humor has no place at HCwDB. The editors promise to avoid such lazy humor in the future. If all the Armenians in Glendale would just learn to drive properly on the 134, this never would’ve hapened.

# posted by douchebag1
1:29 pm August, 10 DarkSock said...

His swagger sucks.
.
Son.

1:33 pm August, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

DB1 will be here all the week.

1:34 pm August, 10 Southern Scrotic said...

That’s what you get for calling a spade ‘a spade’.

1:35 pm August, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Get this kid a big sandwich. I’ve seen healthier Somalian refugees.

1:36 pm August, 10 schlicht bindenburger said...

where is the HC? somebody is spending to much time tending the alpacas, no?

1:38 pm August, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

…and there’s nothing like a hot Bavarian blondie sporting black eyebrows.
.
.It’s almost enough to get me to get out that Aryan Nation shirt I retired long ago….and get back to marching in unison.
.
.

1:38 pm August, 10 schlicht bindenburger said...

apologies, i meant ‘too’ too much ….. fuck im high!

1:39 pm August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think the large illegal neo-nazi movement in Germany support the lazy and obvious assumption. Speaking poorly about the tribe is a widely uninforced hate-crime in the Mozzerland.
.
Fucking Nazis

1:40 pm August, 10 Anonymous said...

That stud in his ear is bigger than his head! Never mind the 1 DM shades he picked up at the local petrol station……egads!

1:40 pm August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...


.
Dieters

1:40 pm August, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

BTW, I never realized a simple cut and paste worked in the comment section.
.
Idiot (me)

1:42 pm August, 10 Ol' Dirty Douchebag said...

Come on. WTF? Seriously. WTF?

1:47 pm August, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^What Wallnuts correctly copied and pasted. Fuck. If he learned HTML in one day, damnit I’m going to do it in seven. Fucking old fingers.

1:50 pm August, 10 Vin Douchal said...

My 5 year old has more asthetic than this skinny puppy. He’s an extreme ectomorph with no knowledge of Frank Zane like he’s a vacuum poser,,,
.
She is not joocy , brahs , I’m not even jelly
.
.
.
Neckbeards

1:52 pm August, 10 McWhataDouche said...

A pink floaty around his waist?? Ok then.

2:07 pm August, 10 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

He’s on a stepstool, and she’s a pedophile.
Yeah, chicks can be into that too – just look at some of the teachers I wish I had.
Granted, some of ’em are softon material, but when you’re 12…?
http://www.zimbio.com/The+50+Most+Infamous+Female+Teacher+Sex+Scandals

2:07 pm August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I really feel bad for these two. I keep expecting Sally Struthers to pop into the frame and implore me to donate money to them.
.
That, and keep them far away from priests and scout leaders.

2:09 pm August, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

He’s no Chestbrah that’s for sure.

2:14 pm August, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If anything (a feather, a grain of sand, an electron, etc.) hit this schnitzel in the chest it would cause massive internal bleeding and all the Jagermeister would come spilling out.

2:31 pm August, 10 tall guy said...

She’s more of a douche than him! If not, she’s definitely more masculine.

2:38 pm August, 10 Chumanominom said...

She is pretty cute; for now.. “pre-skank” choices such as Gruber here will preparing her for that 15 minute spot on C.O.P.S. sitting in the mud, missing a tooth because she ate the end of his box of Fiddle Faddle, eventually deciding not to press charges… “cause he loves her”.

2:39 pm August, 10 G.C. said...

she’s got eyes like Anakin Skywalker …at the end of Jedi.

2:56 pm August, 10 Wheezer said...

Wretch-a-Sketch/Scribbles points and laughs at Gruber: “Eat a sandwich, dude.”
.
Gruber fires back: “Zhoo should vatch out vile taking der shteroids, ja?”

2:57 pm August, 10 Wheezer said...

I gotta side with Wretch^, however – if Gruber would put away a few Bic Macs or weinerschnitzels, he might grow into those shades.

2:58 pm August, 10 Wheezer said...

Or hell, even Big Macs.
.
Fuccen lack of a proofreader…..

3:05 pm August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Gruber looks like a Laotian lotion boy. He can often be seen frolicking poolside, with bottle of lotion tucked into his shorts to keep it warm, offering rub-downs for 2 Euro.
.
Milya flunked out of beauty school and is trying to get into a course for toaster repair.

3:17 pm August, 10 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Re: the frightening level of malnutrition in Exhibit A.

My testimony: “I remember my first three years on cocaine…”

3:52 pm August, 10 hermit android thumbs said...

The building behind them appears to be hopelessly out of plumb. Which reminds me, I must be off to the dumpster behind the Piggly Wiggly because I’m hopelessly out of plums. Not to mention figs.

4:47 pm August, 10 creature said...

I’m good with the Jews

5:05 pm August, 10 Barely Chillegal said...

You will be hearing from “Karens” jew lawyers for this one DB1. The only way to get out of this is to send to send me a peen pic. Unless you don’t do “nudes.” Then I will accept an AssPear pic for the crew as payment because I finally know how this place works after a year and a half of intense observation. Soon I will be delivering you all my final psych diagnosis on each and everyone of you. Free of charge of course. Spoiler alert: Its starts with daddy and ends with issues. I hope I have been of some service. 😉

5:08 pm August, 10 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Hey, Barely Chillegal:

Are those lawyers left-handed?

5:08 pm August, 10 Bret Easton Douchis said...

No Daddy Issues for me, thanks. I already ate.

5:11 pm August, 10 Horace Dangleballs said...

Not for nothing, but neither of these two freaks look especially Aryan to me…

5:15 pm August, 10 Barely Chillegal said...

@BED, of course they’re left handed. Is there any other kind of jew lawyer?

5:55 pm August, 10 Baron Von Goolo said...

Referring to those shades as “bug glasses” seems doubly appropriate when you’re built like a walking stick.
.
Five bucks says that after they make the bug with two backs, she eats him.

7:04 pm August, 10 Sir Boo said...

That guy is skinny as fuck. I’m jealous.

7:18 pm August, 10 Guid is Good said...

I say give Gruber and Mila a break. These guys are the only ones propping up the whole European economy at the moment.

Gruber even gave them his lunch money.

7:44 pm August, 10 DoucheWeasel said...

It’s been 70 years. 99.9% of Germans of Adolf’s time are dead.
However, what remains is the fact that Hitler was never elected via a majority in a general election.
Check your history, bubbie.
You’re a smart guy. A review of facts is in order.

7:57 pm August, 10 Barely Chillegal said...

@creature, you can call me that when I start complaining about you calling me that, sugar tits.

8:02 pm August, 10 Barely Chillegal said...

@creature, you may be right, about me being a DC, this was in response to your question in another thread. I guess you win this round.
.
.
Gramps.

8:02 pm August, 10 creature said...

his biggest muscle is his forehead

8:04 pm August, 10 Anonymous said...

He’s another pupa. The pupae almost deserve their own category, and by that I mean fish slaps.

8:11 pm August, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@barely,
Eagerly awaiting my psych eval. I’d bet on solipsism… But you apparently are the expert.

9:00 pm August, 10 Barely Chillegal said...

@McCrudeshoes, I was gonna tell you not to worry about the cost and that I was gonna charge you a group rate, but then I see I did say I would do it for free to begin with. Damn my humanity!

11:30 pm August, 10 troy tempest said...

When he was young he was served one hot meal a day – a bowl of steam. Get this guy a SAMMICH!

11:34 pm August, 10 troy tempest said...

Also, he’s got sucha receding hairline, and he so douchie that by the time he’s 40, the Grieco Virus is going to turn him into NOSFERATU:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_6DpEiwWPjI8/TMtRnbeFfdI/AAAAAAAAKHs/uf_vWiLvcd4/s1600/nosferatu1979.jpg

5:29 am August, 11 FoghornLeghorn said...

I don’t know. I kind of like her Rose of Jericho tattoo.

6:06 am August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Barely,
Usually the memory is the first thing to go, Sybil.

7:21 am August, 11 icame isaw idouched said...

Is this Jeb the creepy wankscrotes untattoed brother?

7:36 am August, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

Hitler Youth Frolic?

Skinheads.

7:40 am August, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

Take the Skinheads Bowling.

Best Camper Van Beethoven song EVER.

7:59 am August, 11 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Deer Milya: you could break him in half. So be careful.

8:51 am August, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

In response to the radiation cloud over Japan, the youth have begun to develop exoskeletons.
.
.
.
.
Too soon?
.
.
.
Enola Gays.

10:47 am August, 11 diedouche said...

Hey skinny dumb shit. You are not cool. Your sunglasses look stupid.and your girlfriend looks like your sister. You head is too big for your body, it looks like it’s going to fall off. Stop acting like you matter, your friends think you’re an asshole.

11:24 am August, 11 idfma said...

Doucheweasel–I’m not seeing where a majority was ever mentioned, and Hilter WAS elected, even though it looked a lot like the Bush election of 2000, so I’m confused about what facts are wrong.

1:29 pm August, 11 DoucheWeasel said...

DB1 said: “nearly seven decades after electing Adolph Hitler as their chosen messiah”
Hitler was not democratically elected as leader/chancelor. His party got something like 20%-30% of the popular vote. After some turmoil, his party was put at the head of a coalition. Thereafter, they used this position to leverage more power through repressive policies.
Now, if you are still confused idfma, please go to your local library and open a history book.
As an aside, I’m not sure when DB1 last visited Deutchalnd. I was there in 1998. While antisemitism is present all around the world, what I found striking was the proportion of inter-ethnic couples walking the streets. Even in the most urban settings in the US, you will not see so many mixed couples.

10:50 am August, 12 In love said...

Much love for the Armenian drivers joke! Living between the two heaving sweaty orbs of Armenian population, Glendale and Pasadena, I get to see tons of their driving.
May the babushka never fall from Grannies head.
Armenian douches driving Dads BMW to Glendale city college are a force of uberdouche poo.

8:02 pm August, 12 Stephanie said...

BeiberSchneizel.

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Holy Toledo, so glad I cilkced on this site first!

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