Monday, August 15, 2011

HCwDB of the Week: Joey Lumpcrustowitz and Kate

I must’ve been tipsy on rice wine last week not to realize that Joey Lumpcrustowitz and Kate were the same hottie/douchey poolaggery combo that appeared on Friday as Spencer and Sexy Lacey.

So even with a two week back catalogue of hottie/douchey pukosity to wade through, this was an easy HCwDB of the Week.

No ‘bag/hotts came close to this level of innovative douchal development (Jesus Bling tatt) and lithe pool suckle hot poochle in Kate’s taut, albeit a tad too skinny body.

And there were some notable ones. The two that nearly took the price: Dances with Crabs, Stands with Cosmo and Scratches with Itch, and Muttonchop Max and Megan. Both brought itchy wrongness to the game.

And lets not forget the pewey poolbaggery of Shrinky Dink and Karen.

Also notable over the past two weeks, the return appearances from HCwDB legends like Brazilian Emo Hulk, old friend Big Red, Unfinished Tatt Guy and Gorgeous Sandy, Prickles the Clown, The Starry Blight and Hello Kitty Hott and The Greasepitz.

Nor shall we forget Perfect Sucklechomp Amanda. Whose leg I hump pensively in the abstract and with full due respect.

But who are we kiddin’?

For sheer classic ‘bag pukeshoescrape and tasty if slightly underfed hottitude, Joey Lumpcrustowitz and Vegas Kate were not to be denied.

Slot ’em for the next Monthly. And slot me for a microwavable breakfast burrito. Cuz I’m healthy like that.

# posted by douchebag1
7:23 am August, 15 McWhataDouche said...

I would feed her scraps from my potato chip bag and water from a thimble. But not too much. I dont want her to bloat, for I like slightly underfed Kate just the way she is.

7:54 am August, 15 Miss Tina Marie Anal said...

Star tats are sooooooo gross. Feathers are where it’s at.

8:09 am August, 15 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Days later, this photo still makes me want to get all Patrick Bateman on their asses.

Cue up some Huey Lewis, would ya?

8:17 am August, 15 UFO Destroyers said...

@ Tina: you are right.

I liked Kate before she became Lacey and we could see the horrible “artwork” on her belly. Her belly should be for a different type of art work–something along the lines of ivory Hawaii Islands in a gooey protein infused bas-relief.

8:19 am August, 15 Douche Springsteen said...

boobies.
that’s all I can muster on this morning.

8:38 am August, 15 Troy Tempest said...

I don’t think she’s too skinny. I do think she’s too skeezy. She is some kind of nasty twat on wheels, and I feel sorry for the poor soul who ends up having to pay for her continued existence at the level of lifestyle she has become accustomed.

Of course, she smokes like a house afire and starts guzzling vodka before breakfast, so she’s an interesting “catch”. These two deserve each other.

8:54 am August, 15 Vin Douchal said...

Yuck. These two are the pubic hair stuck in the drain at a YMCA shower, scraped up by an unfazed , wobbly janitor sans-rubber gloves

8:57 am August, 15 Chumanominom said...

ooooh! My lucky stars left pooled on her belly!

9:37 am August, 15 Chubs said...

Yeah, these two definitely make me want to end it all. Well that and the fact that I am obese.

10:11 am August, 15 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I could go without the sneech stars, but other than that Lacey is looking pretty good to me.
.
Joey is a toxic oil slick. And the stupidity of tattooed jewelry is awe-inspiring.

10:25 am August, 15 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

truly deserving of the monthly

11:30 am August, 15 boone doggle said...

Smoot has chunks of Joey in his stool.

8:09 pm August, 15 army (ret) douche said...

there have been an abundence of stupidest tatts this year… king of sears, jesus bling… it shall be a hottly contested douchie

12:03 am August, 16 Steve L. said...

getting drunk on rice wine is hardcore, DB1. like, oriental great-grandfather (or great-grandmother) hardcore. bravo.
.
and this monthly is indeed very sluggable.

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