Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Joey Lumpcrustowitz Gives You the Finger
While Kate offers us the rare Mayan Eye of Pool Coitus.
And Happy Danny is just glad to know ya.
Hot Chicks With Douche Bags
PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS WITH TOTAL AND COMPLETE DOUCHEBAGS. WITH COMMENTARY.
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Hall of Mock
- Pfah
- DarkSock
- Baron Von Goolo
- Troy Tempest
- Steve L
- Wheezer
- Medusa Oblongata
- creature
- Crucial Head
- Mr. White
- Archidoucheis
- Mr. Biggs
- Vin Douchal
- Sergeant Scrote Stain
- boatbutter
- Captain Bringdown
- Whoop-di-douche
- Jacques Doucheteau
- massengill
- Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
- Mr. Scrotato Head
- Deltus
- The Reverend Chad Kroeger
- mr.reeve
- Wedgie
- Et Tu Douche?
- Eliza Douchcoo
- dbBen
- soy bomb
- DoucheyWallnuts
- I R A Darth Aggie
- jonezy
- Hermit
- Chris in ‘Baghdad
- Douchble Helix
- the douche is alright
- Choad the Douche Sprocket
- Stephanie
- The Dude
- Dude McCrudeshoes
- Sir David Douchenborough
- Il Douché
- Bag A
- douche equis
- Capt. James T. Douche
- Charles Nelson Douchely
- THEONETRUEDOUCHE
- Merle Baggard
- ehcuodouche
- Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
- Charles Douchewin
- FredN.
- Ol' Dirty Douchebag
- In memoriam: bcs
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Juan the poolboy says, “The pH is pretty good, but your hepatitis type b levels are little high.”
Kate’s arched eyebrow my call seductively, but it’s Melissa’s naive smile that is making my swim suit seem a bit tight.
Nice tight grouping for a big fish slap. Where’s a whale tail when you need one?
Chief, tell me you have a firing solution.
Aye, skipper!
Fire tubes 1 and 2!
The Mayan Eye of Pool Coitus represents the highest form of the Eye of Coitus and is truly an awe-inspiring sight to behold. Tis a shame it is wasted in this sea of Poo.
Baseball caps in the pool…why didn’t I think of that?
Joey is such a fuccen douche he got confused between giving the finger and throwing a shocker with his other hand. Good lord, I hope the stroke takes him soon.
Baseball hats in the pool equates to autodouche. Unless you’re playing Water Baseball, which I hear is twice as exciting as Land Baseball but only half as exciting as Pocket Pool. I read a lot of Jorts Illustrated so I kind of know my stuff.
@Doc B. I’m not sure if that’s The Shocker that he is making with the right hand. It looks like he may be crippled by arthritis. Let’s cut him some slack everybody. Psych!
9 comments in and not one mention of nip reveal on left bikini hot. What’s this world coming to?
@Barely,
It may be the unclenched fister. Not as excruciating as the full monty, but still an advanced maneuver. It explains why happy Danny can’t stand straight.
neeps
I see no nipslip, unless you mean Joey, or Goliator.
Word to those considering tats, see douche on right with sunglasses and cap….see what happens after you have gone nuts on the tats, but stopped working out and/or slowed with the roids?!? Saggy man-boobies! Now picture this dude in 20 years…..yek.
@McCrude, not nipslip my good man, nip reveal but still contained under bikini top. Oh my god, am I using the wrong terminology? How embarrassing. Back in my day we called them THOs, but you know I’m like one hundred years old so…
.
@Anon 8:33a, sagttoos are even less attractive. Good luck everybody with tattoos! If you think I mock you now wait till the droops set in! X0X0!
Someone is simmering some buffoon soup and this is what it looks like when you lift the lid to peek in.
Just off camera, pool guy is furiously dumping in more chlorine.
Joey’s watch was carefully crafted out of an official NHL puck. His hair jam is waterproof (seal jizz kinda needs to be) and if only those dollar tree shades were white, they would really pull the look together.
In other news, the little chica in the front is so adorable, I could put her in my pocket.
How does someone come up from being underwater and wet with spiked hair unless they have copious amounts of manbatter in their hair? I would step into that pool for all the money in the world and a full round of Cipro.
^not step into that pool.
…more like floaties soup!
Happy Danny should normally get a big Notta and Goinpeace, but…WTF is he doing floating and jetting in that gaggle of Douchebag flotsam and jetsam?
Geez what a greasy heard of Greico tainted tatted up douchebag manatees that is. At least their cows are kinda cute.
Lights out in Afghanistan tonight with that image to bear in mind…ee gad.
Just off camera, pool guy is scraping the jizz and hair off the pool intake filter.
Notta for Danny. I think I work with that guy even. I mean, he tries to be a ladies man and all around douche, but is a little too blue collar to pull it off.
.
He wears tight shirts with rolled up sleeves but lacks the dedication to working out on a regular basis to fill it out.
.
Every so often he’ll come in to work sporting a carefully sculpted chin strap, but his soft jaw and pointy chin ruin the whole effect, and all his coworkers (myself included) point and laugh at his dorky little jaw pubes until he gives up and shaves.
.
He’s even tried to sport the spikey faux-hawk from time to time, but it just looks ridiculous on a guy with a round face and receding hairline. So he is once again subject to our taunts and jeers until he washes all the product from his hair and starts wearing his hair unstyled, like real men and not teenage girls.
.
It’s only one guy, but it’s one more wannabe douchebag my coworkers and I are able to keep subdued.
Joey is weak-he does not have that I’m so cool I mean this finger gesture. He is about to smile and break into a little girl giggle. He does not have the over-nflated self esteem that douchebags require. Check Out Roberta upper right corner. She has the push back get the F off of me move, with the smile to ensure drinks until at least 7:00 down-Douchebag will fall for it.
Kate appears to have the Mayan nipple of the coitus going there too.
Hi Kate, damn glad to meet ya.
@ onetrue – Excellent observation – the giggly ‘get the f off me w/smile’ has just enough gravity to keep the douchellite in orbit before his wallet burns up on re-entry into her atmosphere when he thinks he can make his lame-ass ‘move’ again…
(Soon to be) poor douche…
” Let’s get in the above ground pool,and look cool, and whip the bird…awesome” Joey can grease my car.
SLUDGE
haha this is the second time I’ve seen my old buddy brandon on this site, doing well I see.
I mean is twice as exciting as the land of baseball, but only half as exciting the pocket billiards. I have read many Jort Illustrated by I know my kind of thing.