Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Joey Lumpcrustowitz Gives You the Finger

While Kate offers us the rare Mayan Eye of Pool Coitus.

And Happy Danny is just glad to know ya.

# posted by douchebag1
6:55 am August, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Juan the poolboy says, “The pH is pretty good, but your hepatitis type b levels are little high.”

7:08 am August, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kate’s arched eyebrow my call seductively, but it’s Melissa’s naive smile that is making my swim suit seem a bit tight.

7:30 am August, 9 The Dude said...

Nice tight grouping for a big fish slap. Where’s a whale tail when you need one?

7:39 am August, 9 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Chief, tell me you have a firing solution.
Aye, skipper!
Fire tubes 1 and 2!

7:41 am August, 9 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Mayan Eye of Pool Coitus represents the highest form of the Eye of Coitus and is truly an awe-inspiring sight to behold. Tis a shame it is wasted in this sea of Poo.

7:46 am August, 9 ehcuodouche said...

Baseball caps in the pool…why didn’t I think of that?

8:09 am August, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Joey is such a fuccen douche he got confused between giving the finger and throwing a shocker with his other hand. Good lord, I hope the stroke takes him soon.

8:13 am August, 9 Barely Chillegal said...

Baseball hats in the pool equates to autodouche. Unless you’re playing Water Baseball, which I hear is twice as exciting as Land Baseball but only half as exciting as Pocket Pool. I read a lot of Jorts Illustrated so I kind of know my stuff.

8:16 am August, 9 Barely Chillegal said...

@Doc B. I’m not sure if that’s The Shocker that he is making with the right hand. It looks like he may be crippled by arthritis. Let’s cut him some slack everybody. Psych!

8:21 am August, 9 Barely Chillegal said...

9 comments in and not one mention of nip reveal on left bikini hot. What’s this world coming to?

8:21 am August, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Barely,
It may be the unclenched fister. Not as excruciating as the full monty, but still an advanced maneuver. It explains why happy Danny can’t stand straight.

8:22 am August, 9 boone doggle said...

neeps

8:24 am August, 9 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I see no nipslip, unless you mean Joey, or Goliator.

8:33 am August, 9 Anonymous said...

Word to those considering tats, see douche on right with sunglasses and cap….see what happens after you have gone nuts on the tats, but stopped working out and/or slowed with the roids?!? Saggy man-boobies! Now picture this dude in 20 years…..yek.

8:47 am August, 9 Barely Chillegal said...

@McCrude, not nipslip my good man, nip reveal but still contained under bikini top. Oh my god, am I using the wrong terminology? How embarrassing. Back in my day we called them THOs, but you know I’m like one hundred years old so…
.
@Anon 8:33a, sagttoos are even less attractive. Good luck everybody with tattoos! If you think I mock you now wait till the droops set in! X0X0!

8:54 am August, 9 Vin Douchal said...

Someone is simmering some buffoon soup and this is what it looks like when you lift the lid to peek in.

9:13 am August, 9 Wedgie said...

Just off camera, pool guy is furiously dumping in more chlorine.

9:18 am August, 9 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

Joey’s watch was carefully crafted out of an official NHL puck. His hair jam is waterproof (seal jizz kinda needs to be) and if only those dollar tree shades were white, they would really pull the look together.
In other news, the little chica in the front is so adorable, I could put her in my pocket.

9:21 am August, 9 Hurl Scheibe said...

How does someone come up from being underwater and wet with spiked hair unless they have copious amounts of manbatter in their hair? I would step into that pool for all the money in the world and a full round of Cipro.

9:34 am August, 9 Hurl Scheibe said...

^not step into that pool.

9:45 am August, 9 schlicht bindenburger said...

…more like floaties soup!

10:25 am August, 9 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Happy Danny should normally get a big Notta and Goinpeace, but…WTF is he doing floating and jetting in that gaggle of Douchebag flotsam and jetsam?

Geez what a greasy heard of Greico tainted tatted up douchebag manatees that is. At least their cows are kinda cute.

Lights out in Afghanistan tonight with that image to bear in mind…ee gad.

11:15 am August, 9 DarkSock said...

Just off camera, pool guy is scraping the jizz and hair off the pool intake filter.

11:29 am August, 9 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Notta for Danny. I think I work with that guy even. I mean, he tries to be a ladies man and all around douche, but is a little too blue collar to pull it off.
.
He wears tight shirts with rolled up sleeves but lacks the dedication to working out on a regular basis to fill it out.
.
Every so often he’ll come in to work sporting a carefully sculpted chin strap, but his soft jaw and pointy chin ruin the whole effect, and all his coworkers (myself included) point and laugh at his dorky little jaw pubes until he gives up and shaves.
.
He’s even tried to sport the spikey faux-hawk from time to time, but it just looks ridiculous on a guy with a round face and receding hairline. So he is once again subject to our taunts and jeers until he washes all the product from his hair and starts wearing his hair unstyled, like real men and not teenage girls.
.
It’s only one guy, but it’s one more wannabe douchebag my coworkers and I are able to keep subdued.

3:19 pm August, 9 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Joey is weak-he does not have that I’m so cool I mean this finger gesture. He is about to smile and break into a little girl giggle. He does not have the over-nflated self esteem that douchebags require. Check Out Roberta upper right corner. She has the push back get the F off of me move, with the smile to ensure drinks until at least 7:00 down-Douchebag will fall for it.

3:47 pm August, 9 Southern Scrotic said...

Kate appears to have the Mayan nipple of the coitus going there too.

3:51 pm August, 9 dbBen said...

Hi Kate, damn glad to meet ya.

4:02 pm August, 9 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

@ onetrue – Excellent observation – the giggly ‘get the f off me w/smile’ has just enough gravity to keep the douchellite in orbit before his wallet burns up on re-entry into her atmosphere when he thinks he can make his lame-ass ‘move’ again…
(Soon to be) poor douche…

7:03 pm August, 9 Stephanie said...

” Let’s get in the above ground pool,and look cool, and whip the bird…awesome” Joey can grease my car.

8:51 am August, 10 Wedgie said...

SLUDGE

3:32 pm August, 11 lando said...

haha this is the second time I’ve seen my old buddy brandon on this site, doing well I see.

9:58 pm August, 11 Sexy Games said...

I mean is twice as exciting as the land of baseball, but only half as exciting the pocket billiards. I have read many Jort Illustrated by I know my kind of thing.

Leave a Reply

What is 10 + 8 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)