Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mashmouth Hits on Margarita

Say what you will about Mashmouth’s idiotic tatts, his stupid chin fung, and his zonked everything, but give him props for the Mondrian inspired neo-plasticism styled swimming trunks.

Margarita has the sexy but far more common Tijuana Eye of Alcoholic Coitus. Still, I appreciate and salute it with my momentary attention and fleeting affectations. I mean affections. Nah, I mean affectations.

# posted by douchebag1
2:11 pm August, 23 boone doggle said...

I think his collar tat says Thundercats. The one on his belly says meow.

2:18 pm August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That tattouche is not bald by choice if ye care to take a gander.

2:21 pm August, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Margarita had that thigh tatt done as a tribute to her grandmother. Actually it was a tribute to her grandmother’s tablecloth, sorry.

2:22 pm August, 23 The Dude said...

Tastin’ away again in Margaritaville! mmm
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Una mas por favor

2:23 pm August, 23 creature said...

his torso looks like R. Crumbs toilet paper…pre-flush

2:24 pm August, 23 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

and I believe Margarita is displaying the sexy, but troublesome San Juan Eye of Hepatitis C

2:31 pm August, 23 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

I just keep hearing Rosie Perez’ annoying voice as I try to find Margarita hot. But that voice, If she would just shut up for the two minutes I need-

2:36 pm August, 23 TacoTime said...

I think her shoulder tatt is a rosary. Pray for the anti douche serum Margarita before he talks you into a neck tattoo like his mom has.
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Carmen Electra Complexes

2:42 pm August, 23 schlicht bindenburger said...

testicular tattbrah is going to resemble the shit smear that graces my terlit every morn when he hits his later years! the housemaid at left can grind my face to an pulp with her tiny ponk!

2:59 pm August, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Look closely and you will see a Star of David on Mashmouth’s left pec and an image of a naked woman on his left forearm, complete with large boobs. His tattoo clearly tells the story of Murray the Inebriated who wandered along the road from Jerusalem to Damascus in an alcoholic haze, searching for the Messiah. His tatt is ripped right out of the pages of the Pentateuch, as the elements of Murray’s story are all there; the Lord, the bird, the boobies, images of demons and bleeths, a grossly pink nipple, etc.

And while Margarita may be flashing one version of the coitus eyes at us, she is in possession of the Queefing Eye of Acalpulco.

3:11 pm August, 23 Southern Scrotic said...

And his chick tat has fake boobs. What’s up with that?

3:28 pm August, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Nope. And nope. I don’t even want to look at this scene long enough to comment
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Sanitary Napkins
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However, I have watched this clip twelve times and still couldn’t tell you what the weather is going to be:
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3:36 pm August, 23 The Dude said...

ooh, Vera! Ever since Elita from NBC weather got knocked up I’ve been all about KTLA.

4:38 pm August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That Vera has some jumpin’ Jimenez. Do we have a link to a risque pose of Vera?
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Anchormen

4:52 pm August, 23 McWhatadouche said...

Her…..she’ll do just fine
Him….dick bag

Im done here

5:20 pm August, 23 Greg Douchemond said...

La Vie Claire swimming trunks!

5:46 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Margarita me puede mamar mi chimbo cuando le de la puta gana.

Emapanadas.

5:48 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Y para Vera Jimenez le ofrezco my lechita masculino, 10cc cada procion.

Cholos.

5:50 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Massive servings of alcohol after an earthquake helps bring out the bi in a person.

Bilingual.

Toad Liquors.

5:51 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Of course, bilingual posts do not have the benefit of ms-auto correct.

That should be Empanadas. And 10ccs cada POrcion.

Escolares.

6:00 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

@ Taco Time – You are onto something. In certain Spanish speaking countries, items of that nature are referred to as Camandula China.

Literally, that translates into a “Chinese Rosary.”

Translating it into the vernacular, however, it would be “Anal Love Beads.”

Christians.

6:01 pm August, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

Yo quireo jalar la Camandula China del culo delicioso de Margarita con mis dientes. Joya por joya.

7:31 pm August, 23 Mr. White said...

I’ve long been a fan of Mondrian. I long wanted to paint one of my living room walls as a huge Mondrian homage. (Sadly, I’m too lazy.) Back in my NYC days, a friend of mine and I used to get into arguments in MoMA of the “art vs. stuff my kid could do” variety.
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But Mashmouth’s shorts just made me lose the argument. Thanks, asshole.
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Also, fuck you Earth and your earthquakes. I’ve got enough stress during the day without you moving my office building around. I’m going to go change the oil in my car and pour the old stuff all over you, just to be a dick.

7:52 pm August, 23 Steve L. said...

next up: cubist-inspired trunks.

8:29 pm August, 23 Stephanie said...

The more tats, the lower the IQ.

9:08 pm August, 23 The Dude said...

The douchebag virus can consume pop art, cubism, nihilism, any of that stuff, except Impressionism. DO NOT FUCK WITH THE WATER LILIES! I WILL CUT YOU!!!
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Sincerely, Claude Debussy and Claude Monet
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The Claudes

9:42 pm August, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ I’m with The Dude. Rotten daughter #1 is named Lily. Rotten daughter #2 is named Rose. I don’t get the rest of that shit cause I’m to liquored up most of the time to look at crap. So I have landscapes and impressionist shit so I don’t have to notice them. Instead of painting gardens I make gardens after paintings. My favorite painter was Bob Ross. So my backyard has happy little clouds wisping over it like happy smiling faces. Isn’t that relaxing? I like to climb my pretty some covered mountains with my edger. A little bit of slate and crimson on the palate now. Just a minute I have to get the giggles out now. How about we build a mighty pine. See it’s majesty. Let’s caress it with some umber and mountain green. Maybe just a nice little dog sitting by a flower garden having an anal prolapse. Yah. Anal proplapse with some barn red and veiny blue. What a happy little doggy anal prolapse under the mighty tree. maybe we should put a stinky little poop in there. Can you smell it? It’s just like Oprah’s cunt.

11:11 pm August, 23 Whoop-di-douche said...

Crime-in-ent-ly, if you’re gonna be a tatted douchebag, at least have the taste to wear black shorts (slacks) with your black ink.
Oh, Yeah. I get it. Someone handed him a kitchen towel and he wore it.
I wouldn’t equate her with anything from Tijuana. She has the Touch of Asia in her

3:47 am August, 24 hermit android thumbs said...

Dude with blue bottle:
“Hey brah’ is that shit on my chip or just bean dip? Oh wait, I see a pubic hair.”

7:55 am August, 24 Southern Scrotic said...

The inside of his shorts are more like Dali.

11:10 am August, 24 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Why does Mashmouth remind me of the Carl Hiaasen character Chemo?

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