Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Muttonchop Max asks Megan if she Likes To, Like, Listen to Snow Patrol, and if, maybe later, she’d wanna go smoke up together

Megan said no.

# posted by douchebag1
1:28 pm August, 2 Mr. White said...

Apparently I also don’t know how to properly close an html link.
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Confederates.

1:51 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

That’s not Kettlehead sparkin’ up solid in the foreground, is it?

1:53 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

Her glasses are as big as that clear jelly butt plug she’s holding. She looks somewhat anime. Which works fine for me.
qwerewewe
Perverts.

1:56 pm August, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Ali G tough-guying it trying to kick your ass with his eyes. But his semetic little beauty with the perfect pooch can only think about his ugly uncircumcised mirqaz

2:22 pm August, 2 Brazilian Emo Hulk said...

I believe the term you Americans use for listening to Snow Patrol and sparking up a jay is called “casual sex” or “partying” to the layman. I do so enjoy your American ways. If only someone would “party” with me. Brazilian Emo Hulk, lonely.

2:26 pm August, 2 Mr. White said...

@sock
Holy shit, she’s Yomiko from “Read or DIe.” Now I want her even more.*,**
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*I’m sure that link will fucced up. I’ll fix it in the next post.
**Yes, I watched an anime once, at 2 a.m. while high. It worked on multiple levels, and by “multiple levels,” I mean “lesbian ninja schoolgirls.”

2:32 pm August, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Alan Ezekiel Lipshits, you should be ashamed of yourself! Go and wash off those disgusting tattoos, mister. What is that!? A rosary tattoo?! You always fantasized that you were some special goyim. Oy vey. Well, you are no Tanner Wyatt Dylan the third, you ungrateful little bacon eating izmel. You were born with a jew fro, and you will die with a jew fro. Only you can’t be buried next to grandpa Hezekiah with TATTOOS!
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And Shoshana Bahr-Levine, you are such a bad influence on my little Alan, you Jezebel harlot. I am calling your mother.

2:38 pm August, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

Hipsters, or in this case, pseudo-hipsters, always look so out of place at the beach. It’s hard to be ironic in the sunshine.

2:51 pm August, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

It took me a while but I translated his “chest” tatt from farsi into English and it says the following: “I love to slap my micro-cocck with monkey chops until the discharge from my brown eye runs clear.” I’m a little rusty though so it might not be totally correct.
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fornicators

2:53 pm August, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So what’s the penalty for returninga book late to her library?
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And let this listing now begin.

3:03 pm August, 2 Anonymous Tipster said...

@DarkSock, thank you for the hot doll on doll action pic. I thought I was the only one who was into this. Please tell me you’re a Shortie too.

3:05 pm August, 2 Anonymous Tipster said...

And @DudeMcCrude FTJMW (For the Jew Mom Win)

3:51 pm August, 2 Anonymous Tipster said...

@Doc B 2:53p, I guess noones really feeling that meme. Sorry, happens to the best of us. Next time start one with “Her tits are so big…” no matter what it will catch on like hotcakes in a wildfire.

4:57 pm August, 2 Douche of York said...

Though Farsi and Arabic scripts are very similar, by the looks of it, his tat is Arabic. It literally translates to “success.” Which adds a big stinkin’ waft of irony to this putrid mess.

5:05 pm August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Douche of York, Anonymous Tipster, Heig Sheibe, Brazilian Emo Hulk:
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Nancy Dreuche, we know it’s you. Easy on the Jews. That is an ARab wannabee.

5:08 pm August, 2 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

A jew with a rosary tatt next to some arab script tatt. It all makes sense now.

Her glasses are so huge they look like the ones the adult film actresses wear as jizz-proof safety glasses.

5:09 pm August, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Douche of York ^
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Are you positive? On my second pass at translating it I think it looks more like “falafel fluffer”. Maybe it is some kind of “gangsta” slang for what he’s willing to do in prison?
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Money shot victims.

5:11 pm August, 2 army (ret) douche said...

arabic tit tat. contender for a douchie? i hope so

5:16 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Her glasses are so librarian the Higgs Boson element passes thru it on a regular basis. And by regular I mean huge.

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glasses.

5:17 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Lois Lane called, doesn’t need her really huge glasses back. Megan can keep them, and by that I mean huge.

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Big glasses. Really.

5:18 pm August, 2 Anonymous Tipster said...

@Rev, you give me waaay too much credit. My comedic stylings and mocks pale in comparison to some of the peeps you think I am. Nice work though. You’re smarter than I hoped you were.

5:22 pm August, 2 Anonymous Tipster said...

And again, for the record, I loves me some jewish folk.

5:50 pm August, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think while the glasses get the attention, it’s the goolie shorts that seal the deal…and by “seal the deal” I mean “cause ejaculation.”
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Meanwhile, I think Max is channeling a cross between Wolverine and the Mod Elvis, who the preceded the Fat Elvis, who preceded the Dead Elvis.

5:51 pm August, 2 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Swifty Lazar called; he wants his glasses back…preferably splooge free.
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http://www.flickr.com/photos/poorusher/3053358392/

6:50 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

There aren’t any ethnic strains of the human species that don’t have douchebags or otherwise annoying members.

For every Woody Allen, there’s a Dane Cook™.

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Something like that. I’ll go ahead and shut up now.

6:50 pm August, 2 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Well, at least Megan made a good decision this time around.

6:51 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

I ment ethnic STAINS ^^

6:51 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Megan is bookish.
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She wrote the book on it.

6:52 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Megan isn’t a Hipster Librarian.

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Taintster™.

6:59 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

I’ll return a meat book to her Dewey Decima™. Late™.

6:59 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

There once was a tainty called Megan
Had DB1 fully beggin’
For a life spent between
The sheets with her e’en
Though she won’t pull off her leggings.
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Sorry™.

7:00 pm August, 2 DarkSock said...

And MuttonChop, this dude is coming to rip off your unauthorized sideburns™.
atrhathteha

7:15 pm August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Muttonchop is not a Jew. If he is, Mrs. Kroeger will find him and Krav Maga his ghetto.
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Blockheads

7:18 pm August, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The other dude is smoking his doob backwards.
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Darlins

7:38 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

DB1, could you do a nightly news broadcast too? Then, I could throw my tv away, and by that I mean use it to watch my stash of porn dvd’s
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Filthy whoers

8:03 pm August, 2 Guid is Good said...

Megan is no librarian Hott. The one time she was asked to go to the library she replied, “Mum said it’s not supposed to go in there.”

8:25 pm August, 2 Stephanie said...

Reminds me of cleaning the cat box,I scooped up this stuff and dropped it into a double bag from Walmart.

8:38 pm August, 2 schlicht bindenburger said...

hes going to an early showing of that darnabbit ape movie

8:50 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Hey Max, Dick Butkus called. You’ve ruined his name.

Unlike you, he’s earning back his reputation the hard way.

8:58 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Guid IS good @7.38
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Mom said so.

8:59 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

8.03, moron.
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Time warp

9:03 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

In other news, DB1 will soon begin his nightly news broadscrote.
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Choadcast.
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With Baller Scronkite, Scarbra Ballters and Tom Bra!!kaw.
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And that heinous bitch from HLN.

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no, the other one.

9:59 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

DB1, BarBra!! Walters called, recommended you keep a neutered position on your newscast.
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Bare and Phalanxed.

BarBra!! also thinks that the gal on HLN who looks like a cross between her and Bette Midler should lead your team.
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Call her Better Midler, she’ll do fine

10:36 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Film at 11.
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Try to be asleep by then, it’s awful.

10:42 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

Megan has the world’s most subtle duck lips ever.
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The Laker hat is a possible recovery for the twit in the backwards Laker hat.

10:51 pm August, 2 The Dude said...

I think I just spoke in Fartsi.
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Not sure.

6:00 am August, 3 Tony Ventresca said...

Can we make marijuana use auto-douche? Because it’s every bit as conformist and unimaginative and herd as the mindless tattoos and fake tough-guy posturing seen in the photos posted on this site.

8:24 am August, 3 DarkSock said...

Tony, you need to spark a doob and chillax, brah.
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You cannot frolic whilst stoned. Medical FACT.

8:53 am August, 3 Hurl Scheibe said...

Hurl Scheibe is not Nancy Drouche. Just a long time “anonymous” lurker with a new name.

8:53 am August, 3 Hurl Scheibe said...

But can you prance whilst stoned?

9:30 am August, 3 The Dude said...

I have danced a bizarre jig while accidentally smoking a J. Does that count?
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I thought it was a clove?

9:30 am August, 3 Anonymous Tipster said...

@Hurl, when I’m high as a kite I like to prance around like Richaed fucking Simmons. But that’s just me. That’s just what I like.

10:51 pm August, 3 Edith Anne Tarbox of Dripping Springs Tx said...

soon enough,muttonchop will realize that megan’s affections for him will only last until she smells the weed, if its good she will be all over spliff richards there, until he
passes it, then she is gone.

5:42 pm August, 4 Megan's Shorts said...

Smoke enough of that great weed, honey, and I’ll be on top of Max’s head for the balance of the the night.

Next morning, you’ll have to steal Max’s sweatpants in order to do the walk of shame back to that candy apple Mustang Daddy bought you.

‘cuz you and I know you roll like that…

10:46 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Lemme think…last time I saw a muttonchops here on HCwDB was “Old Chap” and his striped banana sling…far more memorable than this dude, but at least Max wears a fave color cap and his hottie is suspiciously Librarian Hott.
So we can be assured DB1 is happy about it, even if we’re not.

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