Monday, August 8, 2011

My Swagger Still Sucks


My Swagger sucked back on September 23rd, 2010.

And it still sucks today.

But in a related story, my abillity to beatbox is unparalleled. I’m talking Fatboys vintage 1987 unparalleled.

# posted by douchebag1
12:35 pm August, 8 Wedgie said...

My swagger doesn’t suck nearly as bad as your ‘do. Grow some arms, then pop off, pencil-neck.

12:36 pm August, 8 Wedgie said...

PS: As soon as you pay for her implants, she’ll dump you.

12:46 pm August, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

My man finds his niche and sticks with it, come what may. Some bangs might make his noggin look less like a defective lightbulb… but he’s stickin with the bro-hawk. Dime-store chain? Yep, stickin with it. Plastic white glasses that he stole from a 9 year old girl? Stickin with ’em. Walmart cotton T? You guessed it. My man is loyal to a fault. He is also a douchebag to a fault.
.
He’s in luck tho… This hott likes short-barreled weapons.

12:48 pm August, 8 soy bomb said...

If this douche thinks that anything I do “sucks”, then I know that I’m on the right path.

12:59 pm August, 8 Douche Springsteen said...

I wouldn’t even know how to improve my swagger if I happened to be worried about it. Fuck the kids, being over 30 rules. Thing is, this guy doesn’t look all that young himself. Here’s to not being perpetually 17 no matter what the age on the drivers license says.

1:06 pm August, 8 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I just returned from a funeral for an 86-year old who died of cancer in her kidneys, liver, and pancreas who had a healthier complexion than Jondeece Fayle above.
.
Pallbearers

1:09 pm August, 8 Ted Brogan said...

Gun tattoos. How clever.

1:15 pm August, 8 Vin Douchal said...

Behind the scenes at Hot Chicks With Douchebags, the staff calculates the monthly totals
.

1:16 pm August, 8 Vin Douchal said...

.
.
But can anyone in that room pee while walking on their hands?
.

1:17 pm August, 8 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Douche Springsteen 12:59
A-fucking-men. Aside from my body going to shit, I’m having a great time doing shit that matters.
.
Get a new shirt, asshat. I don’t even have a swagger.
.
Shoppers.

1:20 pm August, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

You can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m woman’s man, no time to talk.

1:28 pm August, 8 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Is it just me, or do foot tattoos ALWAYS make you look like you have some horrible foot fungus at first glance? Then you look again, and you are like, “Whew, what a relief. It’s just a permanent picture of a winged dolphin humping a motorcycle-riding mermaid carrying an American flag.”

1:29 pm August, 8 tall guy said...

It’s not my swagger that sucks, actually. It’s the herpes you’re spreading that truly sucks.

1:33 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’m sure my swagger sucks but I know most of what he does involves swallowing.

1:33 pm August, 8 Et Tu Douche? said...

Hand gun tat pointing at her sneetch is classy.

1:37 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

General poll question: Which is bigger when stimulated, her nipps or his peen? Discuss.

1:39 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hey, at least he was enough of a gentleman to pull her feed bag around to her ass before the picture was taken.

1:40 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I’ve heard the phrase “Having a cow” before but I’ve never heard of “Shitting a zebra”.

1:42 pm August, 8 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

As it happens, I’m not sure exactly what he means by swagger. If by that he means my self confidence, I’m doing quite well in that regard and see no reason why I should feel the need to impress some skinny jackwagon with a third grade education.

Find a new joke, asshat.

1:48 pm August, 8 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Is this the inspiration for his look? If so, epic fail.

1:57 pm August, 8 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

Maybe that’s the only shirt he owns. Even so, he’s still a buttmunch.

2:11 pm August, 8 Lady Scatterly said...

My swagger may suck, but at least it swallows, well actually only once. I’m still alive, and it was still worth it.

2:44 pm August, 8 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

If someone were to provide oral pleasure to this hottie, it would look like they were being forced to do so-

and she has a tattoo of a gun pointing at her snatch

3:40 pm August, 8 schlicht bindenburger said...

once, after a weekend of debauchery i shat and puked at the same time. i think its called shpuking. the contents of said shporrf looked eerily similar to these two disasters!

3:46 pm August, 8 Southern Scrotic said...

I’m thinking that’s his daughter.

4:41 pm August, 8 McDouche said...

“Daniel, its your mother. Your 38 years old. Its time to dress your age, get a job and move the fuck out of the house!!!”

I actually like the trashy little mid western girl. Her body anyway. Sometimes thats all I need….

4:55 pm August, 8 VlaDoucheMir PooTin said...

posture.thene pam has done her homework. she is a proportional redux goddess. dont know the specifics, but she has my glare and her very own spotlight. posing her arched thigh quotient, divided by light heel heightening, just-this-side of too ripped flavor and unexcited joy in being captured; her varying besetments and nominations remain unclear. fuck cccp.

6:10 pm August, 8 DarkSock said...

Karen?

6:10 pm August, 8 bringin up ol' shit said...

Damn, blast from the past with that old post from last Sept. Vegas Ass Kicker was all up in those comments. Woof!

8:54 pm August, 8 Stephanie said...

Yeah grow up and stop playing Playstation 3 and get a job,and cut that stupid hair which is so 1980.

10:38 pm August, 8 idfma said...

At least he changed his shorts. He likes that shirt.

11:33 pm August, 8 Whoop-di-douche said...

She’s orange enough to give slight oompa-pa scare.
And he’s scary enough to turn yellow piss into blood-orange pee.

6:01 am August, 9 Hong Kong Douchey said...

Something tells me that if you are so concerned about someone else’s swagger and require a t-shirt to disparage them, then you are an uber-douche. Says the guy who just turned 40, bitches.

6:32 am August, 9 Hurl Scheibe said...

The gentleman on the left looks quite fetching in a bikini. That’s one helluva a Prince Albert to pull it back so tight. Props.

7:09 pm August, 9 Stephanie said...

The dog pissing zig zag is far more interesting than anything.Thanks Vin.

8:43 pm August, 9 Guid is Good said...

If it wasn’t for the cliched gun tattoo, veiny thighs, lumpy calves, skanky foot tattoo, orange tan and attached douche this chick would be Hott.

10:00 pm August, 11 Sexy Games said...

It’s not my swagger that sucks, actually. It’s the herpes you’re spreading that truly sucks.

6:29 pm August, 17 Blessing said...

This is way more helpful than anything else I’ve looekd at.

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