Thursday, August 11, 2011

Name Those ‘Bags

Here are two classic crimson douche bros we’ve featured numerous times on the site in various crypto-gay poses while pretending to hit on Woo Hotties.

Can you name them?

First to I.D. them in the comments threads wins a hearty handshake, a glass of water and a magic penny.

Yup. I have a block on these guys in my memory. Like most primal trauma, I repress.

EDIT: Readers Et Tu Douche? and Model Train Mayhem share the prize, with Et Tu remembing the atrocity that was June’s Crazy Eyes Killah (real name is Jared) and MTM fully tagging these clowns as March’s The GreasePitz. I may need to give these bronze turdsers a special dispensation to compete in the 2011 Douchie of the Year contest.

# posted by douchebag1
1:30 pm August, 11 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

The Cow CHiPs.

1:35 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

Lenny and Squiggy

1:35 pm August, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Not fair, at one point the Mo on the left was called “Crazy Eyes Killa” as you ran a post with him solo. However with his sidekick over on the right they are known better as…. Fucck I can’t remember.

1:36 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

Carlas and The Bros

1:37 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

Those are the Greasepitz? Shit if I’m right its Get a Life time for me.

1:38 pm August, 11 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

Together, they form Bro-Tron, an eighty foot butt plug.

1:40 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

I sure could use that prize money though. Is it Xenu and Sharkbag?

1:41 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

Sharkbag and Xenu?

1:44 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Squishy Cocckgobble and his dark sidekick, Gobbley Squishcockk ?

1:47 pm August, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

I’m fucking embarrassed I even remember these guys.

1:48 pm August, 11 Et Tu Douche? said...

Ace & Gary?

2:01 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

This goes in my Most Shameful Awards pile right beneath my Smurf’s Trivia First Place ribbon.

2:07 pm August, 11 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

Oh for fuck’s sake do these people ever wear shirts? Where exactly is this bizarro world indoor shirtless universe? In my neck of the woods, this type of behavior would get you beaten with a trace chain.

2:10 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@421, pretty sure its a strip club. These greased up buffoons are on the job. Hmmm…I wonder if they do “nudes”.

2:11 pm August, 11 schlicht bindenburger said...

the skidmark on the left looks like a smiling boner, the bergler on the other needs to get off the GH!

2:32 pm August, 11 McWhataDouche said...

The Dopey Dipshits?? I know its over just needed to say that. No surprise they know each other.

2:35 pm August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Ibangyu and Ubangme Dickelshyts?

2:37 pm August, 11 Mandouchian Candidate said...

They probably call each other Maverick and Goose, but really they are Ben Dover and Phil McCrevice.

2:39 pm August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m 90% sure the dude on right just said, “Bra! You wanna watch me jack off again?”

2:44 pm August, 11 Mandouchian Candidate said...

@ Dude- Airborne AIDS is just what the club they are in needs.

2:46 pm August, 11 McWhataDouche said...

And the other guy said. “Na Bra!! Im gonna watch myself jackoff in the mirror again. Feel free to join me.”

3:01 pm August, 11 troy tempest said...

Jimmy Pooball and Nick the Dick.

Are they allergic to shirts, or what?

3:01 pm August, 11 tall guy said...

I vaguely recall the stain on right as being branded a lobster-ab of some description. I may be wrong though.

3:27 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Gay and Gayer

3:30 pm August, 11 Wedgie said...

Who and Cares?

3:41 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Starsky and Feltch

3:42 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bronto and The Bone Ranger

3:43 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Lavernius and Girly

3:43 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Boney and Clyde

3:44 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A Night At The Coxbury

3:44 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Check out dude on the right’s belt:
.
M Massage
Your
Sphincter
Boy

3:44 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Last Of The Homohicans

3:45 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Make
Yoga
Sexy
Bra

3:46 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Manhandle
Your
Shaft
Boy

3:46 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Moishe’s
Yiddish
Semen

3:46 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Marry
Your
Sister
Boy

3:47 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Manipulate
Young
Schlong
Boy

3:58 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Medusa’s
Yogurt
Servicing
Boy

3:59 pm August, 11 Miss Tina Marie Anal said...

For four people sitting so close together, there is a complete lack of body contact

4:08 pm August, 11 tall guy said...

To quote Oscar Wilde, “either that wallpaper goes, or I do”

But I’ll be back tomorrow, fellow ‘Bagsters.

@ Miss Tina Anal there’s a reason for that.

4:11 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Felonius Spunk.
.
http://minx.cc/?post=320000
.
Obama. Pay your mutherfucking bills B!

5:48 pm August, 11 troy tempest said...

@Rev – even more to the point of this site:

6:32 pm August, 11 troy tempest said...

And why are these douchebags wearing these weird little beanie hats, like overgrown yarmulkes. Maybe it’s some new tribe of Israel – the douchelites.

6:53 pm August, 11 Count DeDouchebags said...

Douche on left: Bra! How many broomsticks did you jam up my ass to keep me upright?
Douche on right: 2, Bra! 2!! How do they feel?
Douche on left: Grrrrrrrreat, Bra! My eyes are gonna pop outta my head!
Douche on right: Cool, Bra… Hey! Who are these stupid chicks?

6:59 pm August, 11 Wolfram74 said...

Bumpme Upthebotamus & Cleveland S Teemer

7:02 pm August, 11 Mr. White said...

Everybody’s ignoring the bigger issue here, namely: WHY ARE THE HOTTS’ LEGS GLOWING?!?11!? Ladies, it’s true that a hefty dose of radioactive vanadium-48 acts as a depilatory, but you WILL suffer long-term consequences, such as:
.
1. regular and explosive diarrhea
2. skin lesions
3. premature hair and tooth loss
4. vagina dentata

7:09 pm August, 11 skinny kid said...

The guy on the right is an Mc rapper wannabe called Mr. SUVA. From Brisbane.

7:54 pm August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Someone hit the reset button on the Chloe twins. Their gaydar seems to be malfunctioning.
.
Fuchin’ Wagnalls

8:02 pm August, 11 idfma said...

In case anyone here had not already realized I have lost my sense of humor, I offer the following proof:
.
Douche on the right, as someone above correctly pointed out is one of the Greasepitz.
.
However, douche on the left is Crazy Eyes Killa, aka Jared.
.
Pity me. I’m still waiting for my Snausages, by the way.

8:03 pm August, 11 idfma said...

Wanna be Zyzz 1 and Wanna be Zyzz 2.

8:04 pm August, 11 idfma said...

I lost this one, but I still want my Snausages.

8:05 pm August, 11 idfma said...

It is actually only one of the Greasepitz–the one value of douchey tattoos is you can sometimes tell them apart.

8:39 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@idfma, you can have my penny. I don’t want a pity win. I only got it half right. You can also have my Smurf ribbon. I’m sure you know more about them then I do anyway. You know greased up manwhores better than I do and that’s something I’m gonna have to live with. Good game.

9:03 pm August, 11 skinny kid said...

Wrong wrong wrong. As I said earlier these guys are from Australia Brisbane. I know the douche on the right. AKA Mr SUVA. AKA MC Fortafy. Now I want my damn prize

9:37 pm August, 11 Anonymous said...

Do y’all think Zyzz is spotting Pumpy tonight?

5:20 am August, 12 idfma said...

Okay, MTM, now you’re just being cruel. I admitted I have no life. Besides, when you put it that way, I KNOW I don’t want it. You won this one fair and square–you should not relinquish your crown (or smurf ribbon) on a mere technicality.
.
The really sad thing is that my brain holds on to things like this. I can’t remember where I put the presentation my boss told me to have done this morning, or where I left my car keys, but my memory for douchebags is pretty good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I’m going to drink some Pine Sol and Drano.

5:35 am August, 12 idfma said...

Only if by spotting you mean ‘sucking off’.

7:30 am August, 12 idfma said...

Skinny Kid, you got the right douche, but can you tell us why he is in the club without a shirt? I assumed he was a stripper, but now that I know he’s a ‘rapper’ why in the fuck is he in the club with his shirt off?

7:36 am August, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I was going to call them the gym and tatt parlor bags, but Grease Pitz works for me.
.
And yes, I’d blocked them out…

9:28 am August, 12 Model Train Mayhem said...

@idfma, sorry man a win is a win. Skinny kid can have my Smurfs ribbon for breaking the third wall and making this guy real to me. You’re a real dick for that skinny kid, thanks. Idfma take your victory lap around the gym. High five and all that.

10:23 am August, 12 idfma said...

@MTM, you say that, but if the refs in NBA/NFL make a call that wins/loses the game, it’s over. DB1 has spoken–he made the call and I’m good with it. You’re clearly the bigger man, and a ‘bag hunter that sets an example for us all. Just think of me as the announcer on ESPN second guessing the officials: impotent and pointless because it’s after the fact.
.
>>>>High five and pistol fingers on both hands–a gravelly, ‘You da man!!!’ Then someone takes a picture while we flip off the camera with the hands draped over each other’s shoulders–sorry you’ll have the bring the hott to complete the picture–ever since the surgery women won’t come near me.
.
Happy Friday.

12:10 pm August, 12 tall guy said...

So is this sighting confirmed yet? The claim for Brisbane doesn’t surprise me. My parents retired up there way back in the 80s and my random visits and occasional extended residencies over the years have convinced me it’s one of the douchiest places in Australia. The Gold Coast? Ugh!

12:24 pm August, 12 Hurl Scheibe said...

I hate to say it, but this is actually Hybrid picture. It’s one half of the Greasepitz along with Jared.

3:52 pm August, 12 Model Train Mayhem said...

@idfma. I get that whole you’re the bigger man thing a lot. Must be my air of superiority and my brass fucking balls. Yeah I’ll bring the hott or two. But any more than three and we will all start cycling together. And I ain’t talking about riding fucking bikes.
.
@Hurl, yeah I get it. Its not the complete Greasepitz set. Why don’t you go beat that dead horse over there too. DarkSock only peed in it.

7:43 pm August, 12 Stephanie said...

2 Turds and 2 bored chicks.

7:43 pm August, 12 Stephanie said...

2 Shits on a shingle.

12:34 am August, 13 zyzz said...

just so you all know, these guys work as topless models in a nightclub on the gold coast, i know, i’ve seen them, so please, calm down over it

1:14 am August, 13 skinny kid said...

Yeah they worl as MALE Host in clubs just like PROMO girls. @Tallguy Gold coast is the douchiest place on earth.

7:07 am August, 13 Douche Assassin said...

Left: Corky
Right: Codename Dirtball

10:32 pm August, 13 Guid is Good said...

First Zyzz and now The GreasePitz.

America may have lost its AAA rating but Australia is the real loser this week. And yes the Gold Coast does suck this bad.

11:10 pm August, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

Not sure what to name the ‘Bags, but the Cincinnati Redlegs haven’t used their full name in years, and these two chicks seem bent on re-instating that very moniker.
In which case, you could call the abbreviated left-shoulder-only tatted “Bags “the baggers” for sliding in two home runs with such delish hotts.

11:13 pm August, 14 Whoop-di-douche said...

…or in a more Asian aesthetic, “Two home runs by slide-in.”

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