Sunday, August 14, 2011

Old White Guys Live the Life

Recession? What recession?

# posted by douchebag1
8:03 am August, 14 Ohio FJ said...

43 seconds before I threw up in my mouth

8:08 am August, 14 creature said...

ther’s a bunch of jackasses like this who have invaded my once cozy beach community with their trophy wives (like them) & 1.2 kids, drove up property values while replacing quaint beach houses with 3 story concrete bunkers built to the property line limits….all I can think is, what an asshole & go ‘live the life’ back where you came from!

8:08 am August, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow! So if I work as a casino ass-kisser, and borrow my 30K millionaire neighbor’s leased shitty C-class, put on a stupid chain, and get my picture taken with the people whose asses I kiss and get a video camera on a plane I’ll be livin’ da life and look like the long lost cross-eyed Baldwin brother. I think I’ll have breakfast and feed the dog instead.
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Posers

8:10 am August, 14 Wedgie said...

Now you you know where your bailout money went.

8:11 am August, 14 Wedgie said...

And you you know Wedgie is having trouble trouble with his keyboard.

8:11 am August, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

If that guys eyes were any closer together he’s be a cyclops.
.
Sinbad

9:02 am August, 14 schlicht bindenburger said...

there i go shpuking again…..

9:02 am August, 14 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I couldn’t stand enough of A. Samuels’ bleating to figure out what this infomercial was for.

9:08 am August, 14 schlicht bindenburger said...

…..this cumbubble , and his ilk, are gonna be on the top of my shitlist when the collapse finally gets here! chasing these brown stiffies with my roombroom is what im livin fer! better start training, YOU CUNTS!!

9:12 am August, 14 troy tempest said...

The only reasonable and rational response to this scumbag is with explosives.

9:18 am August, 14 creature said...

this cunt is from Newark…’nuff said

9:19 am August, 14 idfma said...

What in the fuck is this geriatric asshole talking about? ‘The Life’? If this dickhead had real money (and therefore the life his is awkwardly rapping about), he wouldn’t have made this ridiculous, douchey video. He has no rhythm, he has CEO hair, but clearly a bathroom attendant job, and he looks like he’s getting ready to be a grandfather (pray it’s just appearances).
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Who told him making a video like Nelly was a good idea? Make it rain, baby, and then get back behind the podium and check my name off the list and show me to my table fucko.
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G’s

9:19 am August, 14 idfma said...

‘he’ not his–shit.

9:40 am August, 14 Mr. White said...

This is the most pathetic thing since Karen’s mom.
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And if Newark is the awesome home of ballers, why all the footage in Times Square?

10:07 am August, 14 tall guy said...

Well I got as far as 2:39, which I reckon is a sterling effort. The thing I find difficult to reconcile with this or other vulgar identikit idiots like him is their definition of ‘da life’. I mean, it’s probably all very nice to swan around in a Merc, a Gulfstream, outstretch one’s arms atop a penthouse, wear rather garish pinstripes or hang out in the company of models who should perhaps lay off the starchy foods for a while. But is that everyone’s idea of ‘da life?’ It sure as hell isn’t mine. Generally, I couldn’t discourage OWG strongly enough to take some of his alleged money and go help other less fortunate than him.

10:08 am August, 14 tall guy said...

discourage=encourage
typos

10:31 am August, 14 BroJamma said...

That layup is great

10:56 am August, 14 Al Paccah said...

Please allow me to add one more verse to his song…

Straight outta New-ark, I dont have to Do-Work
My parents all died young and left me cash as my new Perk

Metamucil on my table, tons a bitches in my stable
Gonna Live the Life, while I am healthy and able

So good bye to all you Haters, you life procrastinators
Im still alive at Fifty Five, you bunch ‘a masterbaters

Made this vid to remind you, that old guys can be cool, too
But sadly, I am badly, going to regret this ’til I’m through

12:00 pm August, 14 skrag2112 said...

We need to have a good ol’ fashioned, French revolution style, mass guillotining of fuckers like this.

12:17 pm August, 14 Doucheywallnuts said...

May I be the first person to call A. Samuels a Cunt.
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This will make you vomit.
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http://abcnews.go.com/US/allen-samuels-55-year-rapper-youtube-sensation/t/story?id=14283301

12:24 pm August, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have learned five things today from this thread:
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1. Douchey Wallnuts thinks this Fart Flinger is a Cunt.
I second the cunt. Can we have a third?
.
2. Al Paccah thinks Metamucil is funny in his rhyme. Nice rhyme by the way, but Metamucil is great for when you develope IBS in your 40’s.
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3. Casino Executive is a euphemism for Douchebag and Consierge.
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4. Newark is a bad place.
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5. When all else fails, get something with dextromethorphan in it and take as directed for any malady.
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Whales

12:51 pm August, 14 idfma said...

@Tall Guy, that is beyond sterling, that is downright admirable.
.
@D.Wally, I didn’t need that man–it’s like finding out there was kiddie porn on Pete Townshend’s computer–I just don’t need to know.
Man.
.
Ballers

1:06 pm August, 14 McWhataDouche said...

I third the cunt. Way to embarrass your whole family and yourself by making a video about how insecure you are. Obviously your mother and father completely failed.

2:03 pm August, 14 Chubs said...

Wait, so seriously, this guy know he’s white and old? Right? Roseanne Barr rhymes tighter than this geezer.

2:11 pm August, 14 idfma said...

You got that right, Chubs. Shit, Ben Stein’s rhymes are tighter than this dumbass.
.
Geezers.

2:20 pm August, 14 Chubs said...

No like really, nobody clued him into the fact that watching that video is like watching my grandparents have sex. If they made such a video, which if they did I hope my brother finds it first.

2:41 pm August, 14 "Karen's" Mom said...

Hmmm…I wonder if he’s single.

5:01 pm August, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

0.28. I tried. But then I went back in to see these starch-crazed models which Tall Guy mentioned. So…let me see if I understand this, he’s hopping about in acid-washed jeans, dancing with fat rejects from the local strip club and this is “livin’ de life”? What life, precisely? I’m still not understanding what that whole phrase is about. Having money means making an asshole of yourself in front of the entire internet, apparently? If that’s the case, no thanks. I’ll live dat life instead.
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However…I want to kidnap that little old man and use him as my sidekick. I think he would like the playpen. He’ll soon see that his old pal Allen is a total piker. You’re not livin de life until you’re pissing into the eager, quivering, red-lipped mouth of a woman fifty years younger than you.

6:11 pm August, 14 Guid is Good said...

Old Jewish wiggers? America is finished.

If you see him pop a cap in his ass from me. Yo.

6:36 pm August, 14 MC FuckTwat said...

Old douche keeps telling me if I ain’t with a shorty, then I’m part of the hype. I guess I better go find a shorty. Damn this guy is worse then my Dad telling me if I don’t get married soon I’m gonna be Iola from “Mamma’s Family”. Holler at a player!

6:47 pm August, 14 One for the Choad said...

I lasted two minutes. Do I get a prize?

7:14 pm August, 14 creature said...

@ MO 5:01
I’ve ‘lived de life’ & didn’t even know it….damn, it was over way to soon!

7:41 pm August, 14 The Dude said...

Before he started geez-rapping, that was a pretty good imitation of a French accent. For a second there, I hoped it would be funny.
.
.
EET VUZ WERY SAD. PATHETiQUE, OUI OUI?
.
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Le Boo!

8:38 pm August, 14 idfma said...

Chubs, I would rather watch your grandparents have sex. Multiple times and coated in mayonnaise than see that video again.
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Medusa, that indeed does sound like the de life.

8:47 pm August, 14 Chubs said...

@idfma, I guess you’ve got dibs then. Mmmm…granny-style.

9:05 pm August, 14 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I tried again. I still can’t make it past a minute. This video is more awkward than getting a hummer from your best friend’s little sister at his birthday party.

9:31 pm August, 14 troy tempest said...

This video is more awkward than having your ninth grade English teacher come onto you. Even if she was hot. 40 years ago.

9:49 pm August, 14 DarkSock said...

Wedgie @ 8:10 am FTW.
.
I’m going out in the front yard to speed kick an armadillo. Because 1.) This vid makes me want to punish one of God’s innocent creations, 2.) The little fucker is tearing up my lawn, and 3.) I’m tired of stupid little fuckers coming out of Texas ruining everything. I’m looking at you, W. and Perry.

10:33 pm August, 14 DarkSock said...

This video is like watching a compressed mpeg of 2 weeks worth of Bravo channel’s shit reality TV.
.
.
via twin eye-socket ocular rape dildos so you can’t even blink it away.

2:19 am August, 15 harrisonfyrre@yahoo.com said...

Little Fuckers aren’t innocent and will hurt the feet.

Lee Iacoccoa ?

Seriously ?

5:20 am August, 15 JohnDouchePassos said...

I made it through! Well. I hope he saw the comedy in this as well. If not…

7:00 am August, 15 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I’m not a rich hater. I don’t think its their job to pay all the taxes. I liked it better when the rich did things that made them seem larger than life and nearly untouchable. I mean, when you’ve supposedly got tens of millions, regardless of where you came from, you’re kind of expected to be in a circle that puts you maybe one level below Vahlalla or Mt. Olympus. Wearing the tuxedos, dancing and drinking in the posh roof-top New York clubs, rubbing elbows at the polo match and making billion-dollar deals as you suit up for an open-wheel race in Monte Carlo. Maybe you got your money from mom and dad, or from being ruthless and evil on wall street. Whatever the source, you knew what was expected of you and you played the part.
.
If you talk gutter and you dance on a stripper stage with bleeth, well, that puts you one level above Compton. Still untouchable but for all the wrong reasons.

8:07 am August, 15 Bret Easton Douchis said...

I was going to blow this off as a bad joke by someone whose overinsured 90 year old mom just kicked the bucket. Vanity production, writ large.

However, when the Grey Dancing Douche busted out a justification of the ongoing nature of the caste system, no matter America’s brief dalliance with democracy from 1776 to about 1940, my head swung around from the barf trough.

Bragging that you won the genetic lottery, and were able to loot the burning ediface of 20th Century America for enough cash and bling and ability to make a douche rap, is evil.

This is so evil, it could make the youth of America take up the revolution Chris Buckley talked about in Boomsday….offer tax incentives to fatuous boomers to “transition” themselves off the mortal coil, as a service to the rest of us.

Oh, dear. Didn’t mean to get sociological.

***

Dude’s a big fat BOOMER DOUCHE. Far worse than an OLDBAG. He’s a FATUOUS HIGH-LIVING BOOMER DOUCHE.

Is that a new category?

11:01 am August, 15 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

What the fucck is a “shorty”? Yeah, I’m that “not with it” to know what this terminology means. Is it the small, older gentleman in the “video”? If it is, can I carry around a picture of Mr. Peanut and still be considered as having a “shorty”?
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Oh, now I get it. He’s talking about his penis envy when he’s talking about his “shorty”. So this whole video is about him wishing he had a cocck? Remind me to trust you with the bomb secrets Douchey McDouchester. Why don’t you use some of that money and have Chyna’s clit grafted to that nubbin that you were born with?

11:22 am August, 15 idfma said...

It has always been my understanding that a ‘shorty’ is slang for girl–analogous to ‘bird’ in the limey/cockney vernacular, but judging from this guy, I don’t know–it could be the little old man.

1:00 pm August, 15 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I think he just opened a slang dictionary to a random page and picked out words he could pronounce.

9:01 am August, 16 Douche De Leche said...

I don’t know this song is really creeping up on me and the video is funny as hell. Like Homer Simpson said “Look at what they’re wearning”. All the fake crowds, just the fact they actually made the video is hilarious, what a bad idea.

Is it so bad it’s good? It might just be.

The question remains: “Are you livin de life” LOL

6:06 am August, 18 Lyndall said...

God, I feel like I shloud be takin notes! Great work

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