Tuesday, August 30, 2011

On the Wings of a Pud

‘Bagling Barney, bordering on the nottadouche (but not getting it) sure knows how to pull the barely legals.

One tatt.

Carefully placed.

And a part time job at Cost Plus. Get it while the gettin’s good, ladies.

I see you Annie Hall giggly Ashley in the back. I would launch firecrackers from an enraged rhesus monkey’s swollen nadsack anus during mating season just for the chance to fondle your ruksack and lederhosen with a chomple boobie butt fondle gargle spinsack touchey poke.

Think the last part of that sentence just got away from me.

# posted by douchebag1
4:34 pm August, 30 Debbie Nair said...

Pass. Kid’s got mad game. Hit em hard and fast Barney, which pretty much is the only way you know how anyways.

4:37 pm August, 30 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

At least it is a proper Yankees’ hat. Doesn’t appear tilted at all, and if is, it couldn’t be beyond single digit degrees.

And then he went ahead and got the tattoo. Sorry Barney – that’s not gonna give you the illusion of chest hair when you wear your big brother’s moob shirt.

P.S. Striped bikini isn’t even legal in Thailand.

4:46 pm August, 30 shawk said...

You need to put a little more rosin on your sentence structure. That thing went six rows into the stands and nearly hit a beer vendor.

4:51 pm August, 30 Miss Tina Marie Anal said...

He’s cute.

4:52 pm August, 30 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’ve always hated that fucking Jerry O’Connell even here as a kid douche. When he stole Stamos’ wife that blue chick I really started to hate the fucker. You just don’t fuck around with drummers, man.

4:57 pm August, 30 Debbie Nair said...

I wonder if he drives a Firebird. No pass if he does. Barney, guy, a dead bird on your chest? What, where they out of battleship sketches at the tattoo shop? Seriously I know you’re trying to make your shoulders look broader but c’mon don’t make it that obvious.

4:59 pm August, 30 Debbie Nair said...

Dude from Sliders over Uncle Jessie any day. Deal with it Rev.

5:35 pm August, 30 Anonymous said...

The only way this kid is pulling that much tail is if hes got a Zune hookup.

5:52 pm August, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

He looks like he took a detour from his trip to Mordor with his life-partner. Yes, it’s Frodo Bagling.
.
Lithe and Legal Leslie has one two many S-curves to be sexy. It’s a near miss. But there is a difference between an arched back and cerebral palsey.

5:54 pm August, 30 DouchYouWannaDance said...

Is it just me, or does that look like a PICTURE of CARDBOARD shorts stuck to his crotch just for the photo?

5:54 pm August, 30 Chicken Hawk said...

That last part of the sentence was one of the greatest things I’ve ever read.
Which shows just how little I read.

5:59 pm August, 30 Anonymous said...

Chomple butt spank boobie sparkle! See, I can speak Klingon too!

6:29 pm August, 30 The Dude said...

Gal on the right has a young Lily Tomlin look that causes a trouser snugness. Even though Lily Tomlin enjoys girl-on-girl action. Hey, who doesn’t?

6:33 pm August, 30 The Dude said...

Is Lily Tomlin the Pud’s sister? I think I’m gonna be sick.

6:41 pm August, 30 troy tempest said...

The bird on his chest is dropping a dookie into his belly button. Great shot.

6:45 pm August, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

This must be what they mean by pigeon chested.

7:02 pm August, 30 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Make-a-Douche foundation grants the wish of a terminal bagling.

7:48 pm August, 30 educational star wars games online said...

Author where you can subscribe to the rss feed?

8:08 pm August, 30 Bret Easton Douchis said...

Mad Scarecrow Teen has looted his parent’s bank accounts and has a Tony Montana pile’s worth of fabulous white powder and a bottle of The Goose to share with his new friends.
.
When the coke and the ice cold frog vodka are gone, poor little monkey will be all alone, suffering from hula jaw.

8:44 pm August, 30 The Dude said...

Is the creature with the long hair, back right – a man? Bleeth?
.
.
.
I’m gonna be sick again.

9:05 pm August, 30 Stephanie said...

No those are cardboard shorts stuck on,I think. Actually Barney looks entirely cardboard cut out,and stuck between girls that would never talk to him.

9:15 pm August, 30 The Dude said...

Astronomers use an occulting device to block the light of a star, or our sun, and be able to see little things like planets orbiting nearby stars.
.
.
I would like to use an occulting device to remove Pud from this pic.
.
.
Or a fish slap.

9:46 pm August, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Speaking of drummers, Billboard’s website has an hour long special “A to Zepplin: The Story of Led Zepplin”
.
Kicks ass, especially on beer #5 and a Soma through headphones

9:49 pm August, 30 Vin Douchal said...

Fuccen Big Jim Sullivan

12:03 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

I think you aspirated too much hurricane Irene floodwater, DB1.

12:04 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

Well, you can’t criticize the pudwank for being too orange.

12:07 am August, 31 Whoop-di-douche said...

His blue and white “plaid” shorts look starched and flat as a board and appear to be merely held up in front of his thighs to hide an otherwise worse feature:
a) odd junk
b) Speedo
c) the heartbreak of psoriasis
d) really bad tattoos

3:38 am August, 31 Colossus of Choads said...

Is this guy two-dimensional? (metaphorically and physically)

5:52 am August, 31 第五代自动充值系统 said...

楼主说的对,支持下..

6:13 am August, 31 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Getting a tattoo on your chest will not make it any bigger.
.
Your chest that is. In Barney’s case that hummingbird tatt is freaking massive.

9:44 am August, 31 The Dude said...

@ 第五代自动充值系统 ,

去他妈的自己

10:00 am August, 31 sugi said...

That tattoo is the cover of a Haste the Day album. A terrible band and a regrettable tattoo idea 20 years from now.

http://images.uulyrics.com/cover/h/haste-the-day/album-pressure-the-hinges.jpg

10:17 am August, 31 Steve L. said...

@ The Dude 9:44 AM,
the correct response should be:
你先把你自己給閹了然後去跳樓自殺.

10:18 am August, 31 Steve L. said...

yeah i’ve never been a fan of simplified Chinese. sue me.

10:23 am August, 31 Steve L. said...

you’ve never seen any spam bots using traditional Chinese (if you’re able to tell the difference and everything…), have you?
.
simplified Chinese is douchey. that’s why.

10:28 am August, 31 The Dude said...

It sounds better in Google traslantor as well. Good call, kimosabe!

10:52 am August, 31 Douche Wayne said...

Q: What do Pud’s shorts and the last couple of comments have in common?

A: All I see are squares.

11:43 am August, 31 The Dude said...

我不是一个斗车

11:51 am August, 31 The Dude said...

这是我的新的喜欢的方式去说去他妈的自己!

12:09 pm August, 31 The Dude said...

I still like Lily Tomlin, and I’m still very concerned about the creature behind her on the right.

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