Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Poppa Squatter Gets Jiggy With The Proverbial It

Little known Poppa Squatter trivia:

1. The lost Led Zeppelin track from 1974, When the Pigeons Poop, was originally dedicated to Poppa Squatter.

2. Once on the bullet train in Haikato, Japan, a dozen screaming Japanese teenagers fainted at the sight of Poppa Squatter, believing he was the reincarnation of feudal Japanese demigod “Orangito.”

3. The great orange grove freeze of 2007, depressing the crop harvest enough that Duke & Duke almost cornered the frozen orange juice market, was caused by a secret Nasa experiment involving Poppa Squatter, a jar of Vasoline, and a mirror.

# posted by douchebag1
11:15 am August, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

“Trading Places” reference for FTW!!!!!!!!
.
Clarence Beeks was an A-Hole and deserved that hot monkey love.

11:16 am August, 16 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

“….and then…there was this Negro….”
.
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Great 80’s reference DB1!

11:20 am August, 16 schlicht bindenburger said...

poppa squatter, is that like squeezing turdly?

11:22 am August, 16 schlicht bindenburger said...

……oh ya, i fergot….YOU CUNTS!

11:28 am August, 16 Anonymous said...

Anyone have a real name for poppa?

11:30 am August, 16 Mandouchian Candidate said...

What is that on her right hip? Looks like 2 subcutaneous Slim Jims.

11:33 am August, 16 tall guy said...

Does this side-kick also have those hideous protruding veins? What’s with Poppa and this vascular fetish?

11:34 am August, 16 DarkSock said...

It looks like Ming the Merciless resorted to using the Arborian Bore Worms to get her to talk.

11:35 am August, 16 DarkSock said...

They’ve gotten pretty stylistic with those Valtrex™ magazine ads, haven’t they?

11:38 am August, 16 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Lost in the hatred for Poppa Squatter is the fact that his distaff partner was the inspiration for the fizzy drink that is called, “Orangina.”
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I have a confession to make; I have a thing for lean, muscular, vascular women…

11:40 am August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

@ Anon 11:28
.
Cuntzrilli Cuntleman and Cuntrina Cuntwinnow

11:47 am August, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In Soviet Russia, the tan gets you.

11:48 am August, 16 tall guy said...

@ DoucheyWallnuts, she’s quite hott, certainly an improvement on yesterday’s bleeth.

11:57 am August, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

^98% sure this IS yesterday’s Bleeth.

11:58 am August, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

They are both made from the exact same pantone color of toxic orange play-dough.

11:59 am August, 16 tall guy said...

Oh, erm, okay. It’s early here and I’ve not had a second cup of coffee.

12:02 pm August, 16 tall guy said...

Any vision of Poppa in years to come must include a crimson faced grumpy old man trying to hit on girls young enough to be his granddaughter. Positively foul.

12:08 pm August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

@ Anon 11:28
.
Cunthomer Gaszcunt and Cunttrella Grundlecunt

12:12 pm August, 16 Hurl Scheibe said...

There’s no doubt in my mind that that is Tendon Tina.

12:17 pm August, 16 Mandouchian Candidate said...

There is no doubt in my mind that both of these two commit rectal trauma on each other on a semi-weekly basis. There is no way that she could look this dude in the face whilst making sweet love and I imagine he prefers to explore the muddy tendons of her back forty. Soom in close on the photo and look at the skin above her right hip. It looks like she may either have some road rash or perhaps shrapnel damage, or maybe even post op dicklessness scars. Either way, glad they found each other and can make those kissy faces at each other like they are starring in a Wham! video.

12:18 pm August, 16 Mandouchian Candidate said...

ZOOM in close^

12:18 pm August, 16 Hurl Scheibe said...

Wham videos are like watching a train wreck.

How can you avoid looking at those God awful shorts?

12:20 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

I’m just glad he’s looking away from the camera this time. Its the little things really.

12:21 pm August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

I guess my meme attempt isn’t going to take off, eh?

12:22 pm August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

@ Anon 11:28
.
Goncuntran Zaszzcunt and Millicunt Cuntwider

12:25 pm August, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Poppa Squatter ingests a dozen carrots rectally each day as he thinks it helps his skin turn oranger. FACT.

12:26 pm August, 16 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Marcuntian Cuntdidate and Medcunta Oblongcunta

12:27 pm August, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

WTF is with the circle around his abular region? No one I know of (not even the thousands of douches we’ve seen on here) have had this? Does he act as a surrogate orca masturbator at Sea World for the male orcas? Is this an indication of how large her inner meat curtains are after they got stuck together from a failed Cleveland Steamer? Shark week? The mind boggles.

12:31 pm August, 16 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Cuntsen Cuntydouche and Cunty Cuntnuts

12:40 pm August, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

After a second look I don’t think those are abs. He has an exo-digestive system. Look for the transervse colon. Dead giveaway. Or. He is incubating a lifeform(s) subcutaneously.
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Internists

12:41 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

Cunt McCuntshoes

12:54 pm August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Carrie Cuntwagon
.
.
.

12:59 pm August, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I was just thinking, where have I seen this pic before? Answer… every paperback bodice ripper ever published.
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The title for this one, The Incredible Orangeness of Being. Also look for Mons Veinus and Prince Crazy Eye’s Exile.

1:00 pm August, 16 Vin Douchal said...

I am crushing hard on Carrie Keagan ^
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RRRrrr …
.

1:02 pm August, 16 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’m OK, Your OK, and Gosh Darn it People Like Us
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Scandal at Orangecunt Manor
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The Cuntessa’s Plea
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The Gallant Viscunt

1:05 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

Cunt Dracula

1:07 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

Cunt Touch This

1:15 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

Ritchie Cuntingham

1:19 pm August, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

When did fox news start having babes with big bouncing boobies on? I need to start watching that shit.

1:24 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

^Sheeple

1:31 pm August, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

The Cunt of Monte Cristo

1:33 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

You Cunt Do That On Television

1:35 pm August, 16 I R A Darth Aggie said...

They’ve gotten pretty stylistic with those Valtrex™ magazine ads, haven’t they?
.
Thus ending any attraction I had for the bleeth in question…

1:35 pm August, 16 The Dude said...

Carrie Keegan is mowww. Does she read the news?
.
I’m tired of groin area vein reveal, can we move on?

1:47 pm August, 16 ForlornStar said...

Groin Area Vein Reveal is the name of my new bowling team.

2:59 pm August, 16 Wedgie said...

I bet you guys always wondered what happens to the children of the corn when they grow up.

3:23 pm August, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Karen’s Mom’s groin sure is veiny. Then again it had to be to push something out like Karen.

5:37 pm August, 16 hemp said...

.Control elements of a modern Japanese toilet…There are two styles of commonly found in . The current state of the art for Western-style toilets is the bidet toilet which as of March 2010 is installed in 72 of Japanese households.

8:30 pm August, 16 Steve L. said...

4. Poppa Squatter subsequently killed the orange juice market singlehandedly.
.
look out, apple juice. you might be next.

11:07 pm August, 16 troy tempest said...

I bet his pussy is prettier than hers. More veins and full of orange juice.

Y’all might not know this, but Pink Floyd was formed by a total genius guitarist who taught Jimi Hendrix all his cool shit. Well, not all, but some. His name was Syd Barrett. He used to do LOTS of acid. Like LOTS. Like eats 8 1/2 x 11 inch sheets of the stuff. Before breakfast. So, anyway, one day he had a TOTAL freak out. Was convinced he had turned into a rhododendron. Was kicked out of the band and replaced by David Gilmour. Years later, Pink Floyd did a song about him called “shine on you crazy diamond”. When they went in to record the vocals, Waters asked the engineer “Hey who’s the fat bald fuck in the corner?” The engineer said “It’s Syd.” And when Waters and the rest of the band walked in, Syd got up and started jumping up and down while brushing his teeth. He was still completely bonkers. When he wasn’t completely schizo, Syd made two albums, one weirder than the other – real outsider folk music from some acid induced hell. He died of complications from diabetes in 2006. True facts.

Many people wonder, what drove Syd over the edge?

Now we know. He ate so much acid that it destablised his mind and sent him into the future, where he he saw the photos of Poppa Squatter and his Leathery Bleeth, and well, shit – think about – if you just ate several thousand mics of LSD every day for a few months and saw Poppa Squatter, you’d freak the fuck out too. So think about it: Songs like “Effervescing Elephant”? Most of the material from Opal? Jumping up and down and brushing your teeth at the same time? Thinking you’ve turned into a plastic houseplant? Yep: LSD time travel and Poppa Squatter. The only reasonable conclusion.

11:48 pm August, 16 Baron Von Goolo said...

Hey fucko! Your $10 million spider silk infused goat milk shirt won’t make you bulletproof if you keep taking it off!

10:23 am August, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Her belt is accomplishing absolutely nothing.

11:51 am August, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

Not true. It’s masking her erection.

11:52 am August, 17 Baron Von Goolo said...

I’m sorry. That was uncouth. I’m actually in the Douchey Wallnuts camp on Tendon Tina and jacked young ladies. But I couldn’t pass up a slow pitch like Scrotato’s.

11:10 pm August, 22 seo elite said...

Just one question… Why are you in such a hurry?.. Do you have the fever? http://ow.ly/69GLq?e=939l40

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