Thursday, August 4, 2011

Reader Mail: Slovakian Douchery


Gregor Bagsa writes in with a horrifying discovery of global douche plague:

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Subject: Douching it up in Slovakia (YouTube video)

The taint is strong in Slovakia. Yes, the girls are a bit bleethed but, anyway, it definitely meets the requirements starting :09 seconds and continuing unabated ’till the end. Bonus bizzaro cross-dressing suppressed homoerotic spin the bottle scene thrown in for good measure near the end.

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Talentless, European and Douchey is no way to go through life, kids. That video mades my nethers twitch, and not in that good sugar rush kinda way.

# posted by douchebag1
11:35 am August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

now im puking!

11:39 am August, 4 schlicht bindenburger said...

thats some creme de la creme dooosh, thanx deebster!

11:42 am August, 4 Vin Douchal said...

“UKÁŽ MI LÁSKU” loosely translated is , “I am a talentless monkey and this is my anal play buddy” .

11:42 am August, 4 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

The chorus sounds like the bleeths are singing “you seem like such an asshole” Or maybe I’m just hearing that subliminally.

11:45 am August, 4 Troy Tempest said...

I got through 2 minutes and had to make it stop. And to think 10,000 years of indoor living have brought us to this. It’s like giving the baby jesus a tribal tatt on his taint – it makes the baby jesus cry like a little girl.

11:46 am August, 4 DarkSock said...

Ewww…make it stop…
AGREW

11:48 am August, 4 soy bomb said...

I personally enjoyed the none-too-subtle pelvic “bro” thrust at 00:43 the most.

11:48 am August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

Well, that seals it. I’m never doing “The Robot” again. Those douchebags made it super uncool. Also the strippers they hired are top shelf video hoes. Good on ya, Slovakia. Way to be slightly behind the douchbag curve and pop culture times. Seriously, get those bitches some neck tattoos and step into the 00’s already.
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Retard out.

11:49 am August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

@soy bomb, you would.

11:52 am August, 4 UFO Destroyers said...

Hey Boss, don’t you mean “Homoslovakian Douchery?”

11:54 am August, 4 soy bomb said...

Nancy Dru…er “Anonymous Pro-Tipster,” yes, you know of my love for low art. And it doesn’t get lower than that, by golly!.
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pseudonyms.

11:56 am August, 4 Army of Douche-ness said...

my native Cleveland, OH has a very large population of Eastern Europeans of all sorts. I must say it’s simply in their culture for women to look bleethy. The non-bleeth would be the weird outlier.

This sort of reminds me of how if in Jersey you cant really judge the guido for it is their land, not yours.

This reminds me of when DB1 was on the Adam Carolla podcast and Carolla said if he had to choose he much preferred the guido dynasty bag vs the hipsterbag

AoD

11:59 am August, 4 tall guy said...

I endured the whole thing, although at the 3 minute point i switched Windows to write this. It’s a catalogue of every douchssesory from recent times. They’re all there, G-Star, Abercrombie et al shirts. 10lb watch, douche belt, dumb sunglasses in matching virginal white. Plus the dudes going bald. Also, speak da English, boyo!

12:04 pm August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

@soy bomb, what I choose to call myself on my own time is my own business. Unfortunately no matter how I try to hide, everyone (well usually just the cool smart people….and I guess the occasional RevChad slips through the cracks…know that its me. But thanks for kinda playing along.

12:12 pm August, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

No rockstar leniency rule? Nah, I didn’t think so.
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I have a strong opinion about Eastern European hotts. They have the potential to be supernova hott, and often are. Plus they always seem fit by US standards, probably because they aren’t used to cramming down 17 cheeseburgers for breakfast. But here is the thing: Too often, Eastern Euro hotties have the rangy look of a starving predator. Like a coyote that’s down on it’s luck and has wandered into town, lithe, gaunt, and still dangerous, looking for an easy meal.

12:17 pm August, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Nancy,
Jeez, now I’m not cool or smart, and god knows I’m not rich or very good looking either. Someone please stab me in heart with a screwdriver. No, seriously.

12:19 pm August, 4 Colossus of Choads said...

Preach on Brother.

12:22 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Beats talentless, Mississippian, and Smelly-socked.
Ask anyone from Biloxi.

12:24 pm August, 4 Whoop-Di-Douche said...

Hey, don’t they draw thick white outlines around crime-scene dead bodies?
Just sayin’.

12:29 pm August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

@Dude McCrude, don’t sell yourself so short. Heh heh.

12:29 pm August, 4 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like the Eastern Euro hotts, particularly the Kosher variety. These two look like they’ve been marinated in carrot borscht and left in the wind.
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There are two things I cannot tolerate. Intolerance and Slovakians.
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Deputy Prime Ministers
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If you haven’t yet seen the Gwyneth Paltrow shleck “Country Strong” on cable yet and are forced to do so or make the regrettable mistake, please be advised to have all nooses, guns, and other instruments of suicide put away. Woof!

12:40 pm August, 4 Andrew Douche Clay said...

These chicks like every stripper I have ever gotten a lap dance from. As for these guys, they are the epitome of a shit show finale.

12:42 pm August, 4 Vin Douchal said...

More Shakira ass pear. I am in love with this chick
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12:43 pm August, 4 Andrew Douche Clay said...

Slovakian to English translation – I wanna hear love speak

12:47 pm August, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Pro Tipster, are you saying I also have a small weenus? Cuz I haven’t admitted to that yet.

1:13 pm August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

@Dude McCrude, in my fantasies you’ve got a Cthulu-sized who-whodiddly. Please don’t ruin the fantasy by telling me otherwise. Um, ;). I think is what I’m supposed to do in these situations.

1:28 pm August, 4 Joey Bagadouchey said...

I didn’t make it through it, no way, no how. Now, if the bleeths would’ve tied them up and did no sedation trepannation, and drank thier blood right in front if them while still conscious, THAT would be a video. Which makes me wonder, can vampires be douche-bags? In theory, at least?

1:31 pm August, 4 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Pro-Tip, Nah. This is place of mock. Let me have it with both barrels. I’d show you the same courtesy, you malingering squirrel frotterer.
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http://www.nyder.com/cthulhu/graphics/hello2.gif

1:38 pm August, 4 Wedgie said...

Vin:
I can’t imagine why; it’s not like she’s hot or anything.
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2011 may be the year of the Pelvic Bro Thrust, or PBT. Thanks to Soy Bomb for coining this annoying phrase. Or is S.B. really John Boehner’s psuedonym?
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spellcheckers.

1:43 pm August, 4 Anonymous Pro-Tipster said...

@Dude McCrude, mixing business with pleasure never works out. Good call. You should probably get back to wankin it to Japanimation then.

2:16 pm August, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

At :25 I said to myself, “Is that a shadow fake penis finger I just saw, ‘cuz if it is I’m shutting this abomination down”. Then at :32 I said to myself, “Is that a shadow crotch bulge I just saw, ‘cuz if it is I’m filling my crack syringes with air and jabbing them in my neck”. Then at :33 I said to myself, “It is, its a shadow crotch bulge.” And then I filled my neadls wipht aikdl an p p p pluhnodye eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

2:26 pm August, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

In Slovakia the dumpsters overflow with aborted fetuses left by skanks like these desperate to be “meaningful” in the eyes of their culture, and the streets run red with the blood of the slightly older skanks who slit their wrists because they simply couldn’t endure another day of sucking disease riddled cock for a crack rock and another chance to be in “the moving pictures business yes?”.
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Fortunately for my grandkids, at this rate Slovakia will simply be a nice place to visit if you don’t mind all the Muslims but hey, at least the mosques are clean and nobody’s lying dead in the streets from an overdose.

2:45 pm August, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin
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Sorry brother but Gerard Pique beat you to her. He’s a pussy and you’d be more than able to beat his ass down but you would have to go to Barcelona to do it.
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Startin’ Friday this is what will be adorning my shaven pate for the entire weekend and I start loudly mocking any asshat wearing Yankmees shit from 5pm Friday to 8 am Monday. “Cause I’m an asshole like that.
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fuccen Yankmees

3:05 pm August, 4 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Why do they insist on dancing? And only with each other?
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How much does a bootleg version of auto-tuner go for these days?
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How can you not want to fondle and suckle pear when it is being shoved in your face? Oh that’s right, see question #1.
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Why was the douche in yellow “afraid” of kissing his real girl friend at the spin the bottle game?
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Is this what the first level of Hell is really like?

4:13 pm August, 4 Wheezer said...

I did not watch the douche video. I will not.
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I prefer Vin’s Shakira .gif, so I will stick to that. Given my fapping, that could become quite literal.

7:04 pm August, 4 Guid is Good said...

Eastern Europe has been a rich source of porno Hotts. And for that we should thank them.

6:49 am August, 5 Douche Wayne said...

There should an exchange program.

9:01 am August, 5 Jacques Doucheteau said...

1:53. I made it through the first chorus, and that’s as far as I got.
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He spent several lines in the first verse talking about his iPhone for crying out loud.

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