Thursday, August 11, 2011

The King of Sears (aka Starry Blight) and Hello Kitty Hott Dance on a Bed at a Club

Growing and greased up HCwDB legend in the making (but not yet Hall of Scrote inductee) The Starry Blight, and his standard bottle blonde inflat-a-bleeth Hello Kitty Hott are starting to demonstrate a distinct longevity in hottie/douchey toxic display.

Let’s see.

1. Unlimited time to party

2. No apparent means of employment or financing

3. Douchal signifiers in enough concentration to tranquilize Will Ferrell at a birthday party

4. Really, really, and I mean really bad tatts

Hmm. Our 2010 Douchie Winner for Douchiest Tatt is putting in an epic run. Vegas oddsmakers are upping the possibility of a Hall of Scrote nom if they keep this prodigious output up over the next few seasons.

# posted by douchebag1
11:34 am August, 11 MOM said...

GET you SHOES off THAT bed.

And I better not find a bunch spray on tan all on the sheets.

11:37 am August, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

I can’t remember the date, but Starry Blight also graced these pages as the UTTERSLADDER, and Hello Kitty and another Bleeth was with him.

I know most see King of Sears, but I see King of Sharts. And this guy seems to me more of a chocolate mowhak you might find in your undies after a poor wiping regimen rather than a bargain basement shopper.

Finally with respect to Hello Kitty, is it me or does it appear that this picture may have been taken before her new cans were bolted on? Maybe it’s the angle, but they don’t seem to be as big or exaggerated.

And as much as I hate to admit it, my South of the Border friend stands at attention in approval.

Do I need help?

11:40 am August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Thankfully I don’t keep a vacuum cleaner hose in my car, or I swear this picture would cause me to seriously consider taking the long, slow drive to nowhere. This picture ranks somewhere between the great plague and a Shot at Love with Tila Tequila on the list of low points in human history.

11:44 am August, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

I knew I had seen him before.

The Utersladder, Hello Kitty and another gentleman friend.

http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/2010/09/the-utersladder/

11:49 am August, 11 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

He’s got the same facial expression as my Rambo action figure did when I was nine. He’s also apparently got the same number of articulation points. Crop Circles.

11:51 am August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Pierre Woodman called and he said stop jumping on the bed and get back to work.

11:58 am August, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

He seems like a one bleeth kind of douchebag….So he’s got that going for him, which is kind of nice….

12:06 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@Hurl, nah it just means you like the female form. And Hello Bleethy looks better without the bolt-ons. Too bad she equated getting bigger boobs to getting more love and attention. Kinda sad when you think about it.

12:06 pm August, 11 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Isn’t she a porn star? Haven’t we all wacked our weenies watching her take it where the sun don’t shine? .
.
.
.And why are the women always porn “stars” when the dudes doing all the work are simply named like Jack Hammer, Dick Dangler and Bullwhip Bob?
.
.And who came up with the idea that your porn name should be the name of your first pet combined with the street you grew up on?
.
.
.And why am I asking so many damn questions when I should be mocking the standard-issue Bleeth Hott and her bead-wearing putz of a boyfriend.
.
.Skippy Walnut

12:08 pm August, 11 Army of Douche-ness said...

I hate this girl…her vapidness really bothers me

12:08 pm August, 11 tall guy said...

That bleeth reminds me of some now faded Hollywood star. Only in the face though.

12:09 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

Her boobs smell like armpit B.O. and he stole those clothes from my boy’s “donate” bin.
.
The suckitude is strong with these two. He’s happy to have a woman “constructed” like her and she makes no sense to me whatsoever unless she’s actually a FemBot , with gears echoing and levers whirring around in her otherwise empty cranium
.
I can’t picture the situation where I would actually be in the same location at the same time as these two ( unless they also go to Costco for the 99 ¢ Pizza/Smoothie/Breadstick deal on Saturdays )

12:10 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

@ Choad the D and Army of D
.
Whew, I thought I was all alone in immensely disliking this chick. Gay , too

12:16 pm August, 11 Miss Tina Marie Anal said...

The girls wearing waaaaay too many clothes to be considered a good girl.

12:19 pm August, 11 Douche Springsteen said...

The Starry Blight seems to be making a run for the 2011 Irving Thallbag Lifetime Achievement Award. Dude has been on here quite a bit.

12:20 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@Choad, I can’t answer you first question since I am sans weenie. As for your second question its the women you’re actually watching for the most part, unless you’re into dudes too then that’s a whole nother bag of nuts, so to speak. So typically in straight porn women are the stars because are the focal point. As for your third question I don’t. Know but it must have been one sick fuck. Who wants to think of their dead hamster while they’re getting their swerve on?
.
.
Applesauce Sherry

12:25 pm August, 11 tall guy said...

This dude’s hair looks too black. I reckon there’s a bit of Grecian that’s been applied.

12:26 pm August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Erm, you-know-who, your fixation with model mayhem and anal sex is becoming obsessive. Do we need to have an intervention already? At this pace, you’ll be on there yourself in the genre of balloon-knot model within the week.
.
Scrotation marks

12:33 pm August, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I like to dress up as a plant and shoot my pollen load from my stamen at girls’ pistils while they are across the bed. We are Chlorphyles are we not. And I’d assrape her in a violent manner before laughing at her squeaky voice.
.
Longfellows

12:38 pm August, 11 Vin Douchal said...

My porn name would have been, “Major Bristol”
.
Then “Bubba Pine”
.
Then “Sandy Hardy”
.
Now it’s “Romeo Arrow”
.
.
Dropping looooooooads, dropping fuccen looooads

12:45 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@McCrudeshoes, yes, please intervene. I’ve already called two photogs with suspect credentials and my mom is at the ready to write in, when my butt pics go triple platinum.

1:03 pm August, 11 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

Isn’t jumping around on your bed with a half naked girl supposed to be fun?

1:07 pm August, 11 YA said...

Casino execu-bag: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tjvlrf0OM3M

1:27 pm August, 11 Face Ripper Monkey said...

These two just moved to the top of my list.

1:32 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@YA, I wonder if that guy knows he’s white. Its only acceptable if its Steven Carrel doing a Scranton promo vid as Michael Scott. Otherwise, awkward.

1:34 pm August, 11 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

In ancient times, we would have sacrificed these clowns for the harvest.

2:16 pm August, 11 schlicht bindenburger said...

i’d drop one in her for god and country!

2:27 pm August, 11 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Train Mayhem,
I’m totally unreliable as an interventionist. Go ahead and sleaze it up, but be sure to send me a few of the platinum ass pics.
.
The only thing these two appear to have in common is a vapid, emotionless expression with less animation than an Easter Island megalith.

2:50 pm August, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Take it back, DB1! There’s nothing ‘standard’ about Hello Kitty Bleeth. She’s holy.
.
By golly, this photo *is* before enhancements!
.
I did a collage of Hello Kitty Bleeth some time back. Mebbe I can finds it, or the link in the archives.
.
Long live The King Of Sears!! I just bought 5 appliances from him. Bought a house from a bank, moving in tomorrow.

2:57 pm August, 11 Guid is Good said...

These are the sort of photos that come back to haunt you when you are elected to Congress at some time in the future.

3:02 pm August, 11 pyrpylkyrtynz said...

He looks unhappy. I think he doesn’t like his friend.
She looks like a really, really young Martha Stewart with those slitty eyes pointy nose, and forced smile.
Right after this was taken, she said, “Can I go now?”
Dye those fuccen roots fer chrissakes…
Bottle blondes under blacklight – now that’s some funny shit right there

3:11 pm August, 11 troy tempest said...

As icky as she is, she is a lot less icky with her natural rack. What she has in this photo is WAY more enticing than the subcutaneous pneumatic flotation devices she sports in other photos.

I don’t know about the pet name / street name thing, otherwise we’d see a lot more porn stars named “Rover Second” or “Spot Broadway”.

8:42 pm August, 11 Model Train Mayhem said...

@Dude Mac, that’s triple platinum. And you into sepia tone? Its kinda hot right now.

10:32 pm August, 11 Anonymous said...

Pink Bleeth, you have powers to which I can submit. I will, however, retain my high school grammar education.

If you had seen my high school grammar teacher, you’d understand.
.
m’am

10:33 pm August, 11 Anonymous said...

^ The Dude, aka The Twit who fergot to sign in.

5:34 am August, 12 idfma said...

The picture is before she got her new chest. While I agree it looks better, it is somewhat unnatural. I mean, in her natural habitat, without her fake tits, she’s like a tiger without stripes, a leopard without spots, or Vegas without douchebags.

7:33 am August, 12 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Yeah, dude, she’s got a left. I see it. No need to point it out, Captain Obvious.
.
Oh, Hello Kitty bleethy hot. She tasks me, and I shall have her. I’ll chase her around the moons of Niba, and around the Antares Maelstrom, and round perdition’s flames before I give her up!
.
Or not…

9:23 pm August, 17 Tilly said...

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