Thursday, September 29, 2011

Asswipius The III Says “Challoooo laddiez…”

And The Giggle Ladies With Daddy Issues swarm.

# posted by douchebag1
9:15 am September, 29 Wedgie said...

Thank God, the “Contagion” scenario is in fact truly possible.

9:18 am September, 29 Fanny said...

Much better DB1, a couple more heaters like this one and you’ll be ready to go to the majors. Just don’t get signed to the Red Sox. I heard they really choked this year. Like it was pretty bad. Anyway, douche on the left’s pubes are OUT OF CONTROL. Invest in a weed whacker, son.

9:31 am September, 29 Vin Douchal said...

You wear those sunglasses to increase your stare time parameters at these gals’ boobs. And if you’re this guy, you go home and empty your balls into a tissue

9:31 am September, 29 creature said...

HS Grad night in Aruba draws many a naive, unsupecting hott

9:48 am September, 29 schlicht bindenburger said...

wtf is up with so many dooshbrahs wearing those tiny hats on their pointy heads all the feccen day?

9:52 am September, 29 DarkSock said...

^They keep forgetting to remove their hats at the end of the Arby’s shift.

9:54 am September, 29 SomeGuy said...

Those smiles are frozen by the horror of the Aliendouche emerging from the host’s scalp.

9:56 am September, 29 SomeGuy said...

On the positive side, that adam’s apple presents a clear target to swing at with a piece of rebar.

10:01 am September, 29 Fanny said...

Mmmmm…Arby’s employees.

10:04 am September, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

There is no acceptable reason to have your shirt off whilst inside a bar. None.

10:05 am September, 29 Fanny said...

And hello guy on the far right in the second pic. Finally some eye candy up in this piece. You definitely get a go in peace for this post DB1. Feel better soon.

10:08 am September, 29 bflak said...

As far as I’m concerned those hats are now auto douche. Seeing more and more of them even in the suburbs.

10:32 am September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fedoras are for gerblers and felchers. And 50’s gangsters.

10:34 am September, 29 tall guy said...

He also says, “You come sit at my table and you’ve made yourselves a 100 bucks. Each”
And the GLwDI reply, “Fine. We’ll do anything but drink buttermilk” And then, “Can we ask you something?”
Asswipius The III replies, “Shoot.”
“Shoot?”
“Speak.”
“Are you a slave or a master?”
“I remain humble among the multitudes. I am a slave.”
“What’s a slave?”
“A man who can’t reach his own arsehole with his dick.”

10:43 am September, 29 soy bomb said...

Protip: When your facial expression gives the impression that you’re gargling jizz, you’re doing it wrong.

10:44 am September, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

As the assistant to the assistant manager at the Cinema Cineplex down at the mall, this photo represents the high-point of Curt’s life. Forever.

10:55 am September, 29 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Girl on the right is giving theGuamanian eye of get the fuck out of here. Girl on the left still believes he is Jason Mraz and is waiting for him to prove it by un swallowing Satans Ballsack.

11:01 am September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

When I think of swarming I usually think of this not a bunch of GLwDIs surrounding Kimmi’s college-aged brother at the high school homecoming dance because they know they can score a quick hit of Ecstasy.

11:07 am September, 29 DarkSock said...

I cannot prove it, but I have to think that these two giggle-hotts go to the club to dance with each other, ignoring douche-pumps like Cap’n AssHat here, then head back to their rented loft at 3 am to cuddle, watch “Ghost” and then VaJazzle each other until the soft light of dawn.

11:24 am September, 29 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Douchilla Ice strikes again……..I would so love to provoke the bouncers at the club to use Douchilla as the evening’s punching bag……………..

1:30 pm September, 29 Stephanie said...

Contagion,if only one would sneeze on the other maybe they could be wiped out? Oh just a dream I had.

1:35 pm September, 29 Colossus of Choads said...

Ugh.
Look at his face.

Catapult this shmuck into the weekly PLEASE DB1!.

Thanks, CoC.

3:19 pm September, 29 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Once as a young growing up in a quaint gingerbread Bavarian village, you know the one. I happened upon a near-fatally contuse and bruised tortoise left on a moist cobblestone road to expire. In haste I gathered him and his belongings into my satchel and rushed him to my “hidden place” where my childhood accomplice Kroeger (not to be confused with a Rev. by a similar name) and I generously nursed him back to health. Using only the finest faux gilded salad spoons that money could buy we would pry provisions into his ever hesitant gob. I never imagined in a hundred years that my wee countryman would grow into such an laudable gunk-mire of a thug.
.
Then today I see him frolicking with a deuce of Bleeth and their delicate suckle trove. He is now known as “Asswipus”, not “the Great”, or “the ever thankfull”, no! So I say unto Asswipus, go! and enjoy the unholy Douchepocalypse, for I have scratched myself of you and your evil ways.

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