Saturday, September 10, 2011

Comment of the week: Capt. James T. Douche

Capt. James T. Douche, inspired by another excellent rant by tattoo artist Medusa Oblongata, beams in to win the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week with this reflection on the horrifying trend of lady ribcage text tattooing in the Quoth the Raven: “What a Douche” thread:

—–
Rib cage dialogue is the new tribal tattoo, atleast though there is some comfort in the knowledge that in a couple of years the Vegas pool scene will dry up for people like this, they’ll succumb to an obscure suburban existence and shit out a couple of Bleeth/douche larvae (thus the circle of douche life continues) and that once clever dialogue will look like a Rhorschach test. Every morning in the mirror will be a requiem of days spent rubbing elbows with the cream of the douche crop at Wet Republic and nights Bleething it up at Pure and Tao in a vodka and redbull haze topping off thier evening of youthful frivolities being pecker slapped silly by guys like rockerbag.
——

Pretty much sums it all up.

# posted by douchebag1
12:55 pm September, 10 Wedgie said...

Brought salty fuccen tears to my eyes.

1:29 pm September, 10 AmIRight said...

So the end game is pecker slapped silly? Sign me up. Twice on Sunday. Non douche preferred but able to rehabilitate douche lites.

1:32 pm September, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Tears and salty fuccen feces. That Raven guy was a real eyesore. Thanks for making me see that again Capt James T. Douche. May you live far and prosper?
.
Giants 43-13 against Washington tomorrow.
.
Barbers

1:34 pm September, 10 AmIRight said...

And uh, way to go “new” guy. Live long and prosper. You should name your couch The Enterprise. That would be tight.

2:35 pm September, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

Indeed. “being pecker slapped silly” brought salty fuccen tears of laughter to my snake-eyes as well. Well, done, Captain. The laughs of the few are outweighed by the laughs of the many.

3:11 pm September, 10 Spmock said...

I am impressed Captain. You are highly logical and shit.

6:09 pm September, 10 Stephanie said...

I’d rather they all stayed in Vegas and the hot sun parches them into sand.

9:42 pm September, 10 Doucheywallnuts said...

The made for cable movie, “Piranha” is the douchebag/bleeth movie of 2011.
.
Characidae

9:45 pm September, 10 Doucheywallnuts said...

If the Giants score 43 points tomorrow it will be because the league awards 10 points for each time Eli Manning was penetrated anally by his partner during the pre-game meal/open butt fuc.

9:47 pm September, 10 Doucheywallnuts said...

And then they will kick a field goal.

9:53 pm September, 10 DarkSock said...

“Pecker-Slap” = my band’s new name.

srsly

12:11 am September, 11 Whoop-di-douche said...

Pecker-Slap….fwap, fwap, fwap
Pecker-slap silly….fwapDUH, fwapDUH!

12:48 am September, 11 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Thank you DB1, Medusa and all of my fellow bag hunters for your kind words, I am deeply humbled to be among such astute, wise and esteemed bag hunters. They say knowledge is power and if thats true then we oughta be able to light up the Vegas strip (Mecca for douche’s and Bleeth’s alike) for a whole year. Let our profound knowledge and wisdom of the way of the bag be a shinning example for younger generations in high risk demographics (bags and Bleeths are breeding like goddam tribbles out there!!!). Thank you and good luck my fellow hunters you are all an inspiration.

1:26 am September, 11 Douchble Helix said...

They remade “Piranha”? Get! Out!
.
Relax, Captain. Take a lesson from George Costanza, leave us wanting more. You’ve..started…to…bore me…already. KAAAAHHHNNNN!!!!

1:36 am September, 11 tall guy said...

Nice work, Cap’n!

6:23 am September, 11 Doucheywallnuts said...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0464154/
.
Piranha. Watch it and weep.

6:56 am September, 11 Douchble Helix said...

I mean sure that’s the popular reaction to each viewing.
.
Fishermen.

7:25 am September, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Easy on Eli. He’s mildly retarded.

9:18 am September, 11 eyedouche said...

There’s a lot of junk in that trunk in the background.

2:59 pm September, 11 Steve L. said...

rib cage dialogue for the epileptic spasms.

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12:16 am September, 17 Mmknwqze said...

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