Saturday, September 24, 2011

Comment of the Week: Tall Guy

Tall Guy waxes poetic in an Eleanor Rigby modus in response to his flower query:

——
Morning and evening I watch ladies walk by my front door. They’re heading for the train station. Most are well dressed and some are attractive. Occasionally, I’ll seek the company of the masses and sit over an espresso in the posh local cafe opposite the train station up the road, where close by is a small florist’s shop. En route to doing an obnoxious thing for 8-hours and their own survival as well as somebody else’s profit, the ladies often stop off at the florist’s shop and smell the flowers. Then they head off again towards the centre of their lives. The mother’s breast. Their sun. The job. Lonely. Frustrated. Living mostly without sex and certainly without love, working at doing something they probably hate. Too scared to look at my face or into eyes for fear I’ll assume they want sex with me. But off they go, either to the cubicle of work or to the cubicle of rest, where they’ll eat dinner, watch TV, phone Sheila, smear their faces with cream, set the alarm and sleep. Because tomorrow, or next week or sometime real soon, he may walk in.
——

# posted by douchebag1
12:23 pm September, 24 C.G. said...

a beautiful tragedy.

12:32 pm September, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Wow! Tall Guy is to Waltzing Matilda as Hugh Jackman is to this guy:
.

.
Suck it Men at Work. Steve Irwin on the keys. their both dead. Fucking snakes.

12:36 pm September, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^ The studio version was better. If you are too young to remember the US festival or roto toms please fuck off.

12:40 pm September, 24 Mr. White said...

Well, I’m off to hang myself from the shower curtain rod. Later, brahs.

1:01 pm September, 24 PoopEatingGrin said...

Boobs?

1:59 pm September, 24 Wedgie said...

Nice; very uplifting. Makes me want to eat a bullet.

2:24 pm September, 24 hermit android thumbs said...

I agree Tall Guy, you should lighten up.

2:39 pm September, 24 hermit android thumbs said...

I’d be willing to bet that those Sheilas are surreptitiously pleasuring themselves in their cubicles and banging dudes behind the train station.

3:05 pm September, 24 PoopEatingGrin said...

I remember when the creedo of this place was to try and out dick eachother. Ah the good old days, what is it now? Whoever writes the most depressing shit ever gets Comment of the Week? Tall guy, please do not burn your couch on the front lawn. One breakdown a month people, that’s all were alloted for.

3:05 pm September, 24 Ilqcgaih said...

US dollars Nude Shaved Models
:-))

4:11 pm September, 24 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Don’t click ^ that one. I’m waiting for the Mounted Police to arrest me Pete Townsend style.
.
Douchey Wallnuts is to the Razorbacks as I am to the Giants.
.
Tomorrow Giants 93-39.

5:54 pm September, 24 Steve L. said...

the flower ladies will have a one night stand with the douchebag at the office party. the flower ladies will have a one night stand with a douchey bartender.
.
but the flower ladies will not give you the time of day.
.
and when they grow old and unfuckable, they lament that there are no good men in the world. but they’ll tell their 18-year old niece just starting college that at least they scored some “hot ass” back in their hay days.
.
therefore it’s imperative to shred the ribs of douchebags. or something.

5:56 pm September, 24 Kpigxivb said...

I’m on business Teen Goth Models
cyhgbo

6:08 pm September, 24 Stephanie said...

Tall guy is full of himself. God,you are depressing me. I’m glad your online friends like you so much.

6:14 pm September, 24 Sheila said...

Just got back from the mother’s breast, otherwise known as my shitty job. Damn its so lame being able to support myself and not be a burden on anyone else. It makes it so when I look at a potential mate I’m not seeing them as walking dollar signs instead I can focus on their personality and if they make me laugh. Also their leadership abilities and if they’re a good person are taken into account. I think of these things as I dry my freshly scrubbed face with a hand towel or when I look at a stranger who I have no intention of fucking in the eyes. Oh would you look at the time, I better call my other single friend to discuss how lonely I am. Her name is also Sheila.

6:38 pm September, 24 creature said...

buy ’em a flower, grin & wink…it works out well, more often than you think

6:57 pm September, 24 Anthony LaBaglia said...

That Creative Writing class most defitnitely DID NOT pay offf.

6:57 pm September, 24 Anthony LaBaglia said...

f.

7:19 pm September, 24 tall guy said...

Yo Kroeger! Good clip. I was at high school with Farriss (TIm), Pengilly & Beers. Good blokes. For my final year project (English) I cast Pengilly in a Super-8 war epic entitled The Kokoda Trail. If you clowns reckon my above post was a bit melancholy, you shoulda seen this 3-reel classic.
Anyway, watching The City now. Olivia is hot. Samantha hotter.
Yo Sheila, I’m self-supporting through my own contributions and a financial or emotional burden on nobody.
Stephanie, my confessional stuff relieves itself as a form of entertainment. It comes easy to me. So much has happened. Still, I am a dreamer and a dramatist, I like more things to happen than usually happen. Maybe it’s not right, but I’m not claiming to be right. Being right is facing it. Not facing it is doesn’t feel right.
Coca Cola ads.

7:40 pm September, 24 Teddy Doucheamp said...

I need me a pair of apple glasses, but no duck-face, thanks.

7:42 pm September, 24 tall guy said...

Hey LaBagila, you’re a contender for Comment of the Week next week even though your comment was made this week.
Brando.
Back To The Future.
Anti-breeder.

7:47 pm September, 24 Sheila said...

@tall guy, I like turtles.

9:46 pm September, 24 tall guy said...

@ Sheila, I like your name.

10:03 pm September, 24 tall guy said...

And: we’re all winners!!!!!!
Semi-lol.

5:26 am September, 25 Crash Bandidouche said...

This lament seems to be based on two fatally flawed premises. 1) Professional women are pathetisad for doing the exact same things that would be seen as jolly good for professional men (save perhaps the flower sniffing). 2) Women have loneliness creep up on them like a thief in the night, when in fact if they wanted a guy, they couldl haul in a dozen every day like minnows in a net. Seems Sheila’s real crime is not giving Tall Guy a smile… whIch dispite protestations to the contrary, would most definitely be interpreted as come on (and later we’d probably have to hear how the bitch sent mixed signals or lead him on cruelly).
.
Shells can’t win for losing when it comes the judgement of sad loners.

5:28 am September, 25 Crash Bandidouche said...

^Sheilas

7:36 am September, 25 Okmljaab said...

this post is fantastic Sandra Bbs
:]]

7:41 am September, 25 tall guy said...

Nah, Chris Bandidouche, you see my mattress (on the floor) is on side of the room where said females regularly walk by. Most mornings I like to play a little Christbait, say Nail Gun playing at about 1,000,000 decibels. There I sit in my brown velour dressing gown gaping with my willy jiggling about all over the place.
Then, as soon as my alarm goes off I jump back into bed and bury my head under the pillow till I hear the front door open and the sound off high heels coming towards me.

7:59 am September, 25 Sheila said...

I like Crash Bandidouche.

8:00 am September, 25 Crash Bandidouche said...

Better, Tall One. A little Kafkaesque. Just remember, Sheilas are just like you. Except better looking, smarter, and more graceful by a mule farm.

8:01 am September, 25 Crash Bandidouche said...

Crash likes Sheila and most of her personalities. 😀

9:05 am September, 25 wonderdouche twin said...

Reality hit’s you hard Bro!

9:10 am September, 25 wonderdouche twin said...

^hits for you grammar Nazi’s

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