Friday Haiku
Bouncer accosts guest:
“Your abs aren’t visible, Sir;
Shirt, Shoes…No Service!“
Center Douche works at
Meinke Muffler all day long
Sore arms won’t go down.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Ice Station Douchebra,
Where souls suffer in torment,
And sip warm Red Bulls.
— Jay L.
Frank’s double fist pump
Went unnoticed by Tina
And, well, everyone.
— saulgoode42
The Mass o’ douchettes
in this primary don’t seem
to like him o’ roids.**
— The Dude
**nominee for groan-inducing pun of the year – D.S.
Civilization
It ebbs and flows for all. This
is what ebb looks like.
— Wedgie
By the power of
Gray Skull. I am He-Man. Show
Me to Dude-Action.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Dance to the blue light
Like greasy moths to the flame
Guido bugzapper
— Hong Kong Douchey
I’ve seen that blue light!
It disinfects/destroys GERMS.
Industrial Stregth!
Steroid use abounds
Guidos fist pumpin’ all night
Heinous Back-ne results
…errr strength, dumbazz
Ice Station Douchebra,
Where souls suffer in torment,
And sip warm Red Bulls .
Frank’s double fist pump
Went unnoticed by Tina
And, well, everyone.
Unseemly white pits
Attract zero attention
Mooby douche wins hott
Greasy clubbers know
This club thought of everything
Traps beneath dancefloor
The Mass o’ douchettes
in this primary don’t seem
to like him o’ roids.
Civilization
It ebbs and flows for all. This
is what ebb looks like.
By the power of
Gray Skull. I am He-Man. Show
Me to Dude-Action.
And as I raise my
Thick arms I prepare to Smoot
You with my Axe Spray.
Welcome to the Gun
Show. Heterosexuals
Need not apply. Son.
Heavy Metal blue
Orb not working for him. He’s
Not Captain Sternn. Sterrrrrrn!!!
Scent of Axe lingers,
Red Bull fueled ‘roid rage kicks in,
Worst orgy ever
Blue Man Group bailed.
Gru Man Group failed. He needs
A rock to chew on.
Guido singles night,
Shirts collected at the door,
Literal petri dish
That squatter on right
Tries to show hott his pee-pee
Roids make for SMALL view
Center Douche works at
Meinke Muffler all day long
Sore arms won’t go down
The white furniture
Is not for hiding their splooge
It hides their popped zits
Fists pump to the sky
Putrid pit-mist fills the air
Nearby people die
Viewing this picture
I saw bits of logic to
Suicide bombers
Oh my the horror
What be this unholy place
Gouge my eyes with spork
Dante’s Fifth Ring
Never looked this bad
Failed to contemplate Douchebag’s Club
Hands up, baby hands
up, gimme your heart gimme
gimme . . . nevermind.
Dance to the blue light
Like greasy moths to the flame
Guido bugzapper
“I pick things up and
put them down” echos through club.
On endless repeat.
A fine example
from Hieronymous Bosch’s
late blue period.
^Fuck you, I’m not linking to that one, you get it or you don’t.
Nice @Medusa, very nice.
.
.
.The Bosch-ster would’ve had a field day at the Jerz shore, wouldn’t you agree?
Doctor, take a look!
with this microscope we see
HPV dancing!
To gain club entrance
you must fill clear cup with pee.
Steroid levels high.
It’s the end of civilization,
Hookers and blow,
that’s the only solution
Close to the Earth’s core
Morlocks dance to primal drums
for next Eloi hunt.
I must protest that you post winners too early, especially with a great picture like this. Posting after you pick winners is no fun. Some of us have to work a little, for fuc’s sake.
.
That being said, there were great Haikus this week.
Tan line from man boobs
Scares away the suckle thigh
Should have used sunscreen
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
@ Douchey Wallnuts–worse yet is hitting “submit” and seeing the comments have been posted as you were writing. WTF, Darksock, I gotta whack off, have coffee, THEN write, you can’t wait, like, ten more seconds?!?!