Friday, September 9, 2011

Friday Haiku

Bouncer accosts guest:
Your abs aren’t visible, Sir;
Shirt, Shoes…No Service!

Center Douche works at
Meinke Muffler all day long
Sore arms won’t go down.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt


Ice Station Douchebra,
Where souls suffer in torment,
And sip warm Red Bulls.

— Jay L.

Frank’s double fist pump
Went unnoticed by Tina
And, well, everyone.

— saulgoode42

The Mass o’ douchettes
in this primary don’t seem
to like him o’ roids.**

— The Dude

**nominee for groan-inducing pun of the year – D.S.

Civilization
It ebbs and flows for all. This
is what ebb looks like.

— Wedgie

By the power of
Gray Skull. I am He-Man. Show
Me to Dude-Action.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Dance to the blue light
Like greasy moths to the flame
Guido bugzapper

— Hong Kong Douchey

# posted by Bagnonymous
7:01 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I’ve seen that blue light!
It disinfects/destroys GERMS.
Industrial Stregth!

7:02 am September, 9 SonnyChibaChoad said...

Steroid use abounds
Guidos fist pumpin’ all night
Heinous Back-ne results

7:02 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

…errr strength, dumbazz

7:03 am September, 9 douchebag1 said...

Ice Station Douchebra,
Where souls suffer in torment,
And sip warm Red Bulls .

7:05 am September, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Frank’s double fist pump
Went unnoticed by Tina
And, well, everyone.

7:06 am September, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Unseemly white pits
Attract zero attention
Mooby douche wins hott

7:08 am September, 9 saulgoode42 said...

Greasy clubbers know
This club thought of everything
Traps beneath dancefloor

7:09 am September, 9 The Dude said...

The Mass o’ douchettes
in this primary don’t seem
to like him o’ roids.

7:13 am September, 9 Wedgie said...

Civilization
It ebbs and flows for all. This
is what ebb looks like.

7:16 am September, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

By the power of
Gray Skull. I am He-Man. Show
Me to Dude-Action.

7:18 am September, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And as I raise my
Thick arms I prepare to Smoot
You with my Axe Spray.

7:19 am September, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Welcome to the Gun
Show. Heterosexuals
Need not apply. Son.

7:22 am September, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Heavy Metal blue
Orb not working for him. He’s
Not Captain Sternn. Sterrrrrrn!!!

7:23 am September, 9 Condouchious said...

Scent of Axe lingers,
Red Bull fueled ‘roid rage kicks in,
Worst orgy ever

7:24 am September, 9 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Blue Man Group bailed.
Gru Man Group failed. He needs
A rock to chew on.

7:26 am September, 9 Condouchious said...

Guido singles night,
Shirts collected at the door,
Literal petri dish

7:29 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That squatter on right
Tries to show hott his pee-pee
Roids make for SMALL view

7:32 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Center Douche works at
Meinke Muffler all day long
Sore arms won’t go down

7:38 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

The white furniture
Is not for hiding their splooge
It hides their popped zits

7:40 am September, 9 Claude Douchenbagger said...

Fists pump to the sky
Putrid pit-mist fills the air
Nearby people die

7:43 am September, 9 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Viewing this picture
I saw bits of logic to
Suicide bombers

7:43 am September, 9 WillieHorton said...

Oh my the horror
What be this unholy place
Gouge my eyes with spork

7:50 am September, 9 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Dante’s Fifth Ring
Never looked this bad
Failed to contemplate Douchebag’s Club

7:52 am September, 9 Douche Wayne said...

Hands up, baby hands
up, gimme your heart gimme
gimme . . . nevermind.

7:54 am September, 9 Hong Kong Douchey said...

Dance to the blue light
Like greasy moths to the flame
Guido bugzapper

7:56 am September, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“I pick things up and
put them down” echos through club.
On endless repeat.

7:57 am September, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

A fine example
from Hieronymous Bosch’s
late blue period.

7:58 am September, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

^Fuck you, I’m not linking to that one, you get it or you don’t.

8:03 am September, 9 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Nice @Medusa, very nice.
.
.
.The Bosch-ster would’ve had a field day at the Jerz shore, wouldn’t you agree?

8:05 am September, 9 Medusa Oblongata said...

Doctor, take a look!
with this microscope we see
HPV dancing!

8:07 am September, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

To gain club entrance
you must fill clear cup with pee.
Steroid levels high.

8:07 am September, 9 I R A Darth Aggie said...

It’s the end of civilization,
Hookers and blow,
that’s the only solution

8:17 am September, 9 Douche Wayne said...

Close to the Earth’s core
Morlocks dance to primal drums
for next Eloi hunt.

10:38 am September, 9 Doucheywallnuts said...

I must protest that you post winners too early, especially with a great picture like this. Posting after you pick winners is no fun. Some of us have to work a little, for fuc’s sake.
.
That being said, there were great Haikus this week.

12:14 pm September, 9 Tanath said...

Tan line from man boobs
Scares away the suckle thigh
Should have used sunscreen

3:23 pm September, 9 Douchble Helix said...

DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!
DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

2:48 pm September, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Douchey Wallnuts–worse yet is hitting “submit” and seeing the comments have been posted as you were writing. WTF, Darksock, I gotta whack off, have coffee, THEN write, you can’t wait, like, ten more seconds?!?!

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