Friday, September 23, 2011

Friday Haiku

In a perfect world,
This asshole would don a shirt;
Preferably hers.

I would name her breasts
As Fat Man and Little Boy.
I’d like to drop them.

— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt

No shirt, a bow tie.
That’s a look that never works.
Unless it’s on her.

— FoghornLeghorn

Always campaigning.
Michelle Bachmann Junior tries
To pray away gay.

— The Reverend Chad Kroeger

Mahogany gimp,
freezes clubland (and tailors),
with basilisk stare.

— The e’er-present Anonymous

Chippendales reject,
Angers Swayze and Farley,
Afterlife ruined.

— Condouchious

Holy Chest Muffins.
They could save you from drowning.
Or drown you as well.

— jonezy

Prom poster was clear
In bold print “Black tie AND tails”
Not “Black tie and fails”

— Mr. Scrotato Head

Sweaty cuff on wrist
Don’t ask where that thing has been
And do not smell it

— Vin Douchal

# posted by Bagnonymous
6:57 am September, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Scribbles on his pants,
Scribbles on his skin. This calls
for huge eraser.

7:00 am September, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Again, those club lights
Seem like UV bug killers.
Why ain’t he writhing??

7:00 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Greasepitz plays new game
With friend Pat. “I Can’t Believe
It’s not penis.” Aaar.

7:02 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m not really gay.
She isn’t really a girl.
It’s true. Smell my fingers.

7:02 am September, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

I would name her breasts
As Fat Man and Little Boy.
I’d like to drop them.

7:04 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

That little girl from
Cosby done grew some big boobs.
And shat out this stool.

7:05 am September, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

He scrawls insipid
poetry on his rib cage.
Where’s a baseball bat?

7:05 am September, 23 idfma said...

Even bathed in the
pink light of the douche club he
still looks very orange

7:06 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“As Mr. Gayniverse
I would like to help the poor…..
Ewww. She has boobies.”

7:07 am September, 23 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

MixOff says poster.
So he tries opposite sex.
It seems queer to him.

7:08 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Stunned by the bright lights
Around them Mr. and Mrs. Club
Kid see Carnival.

7:09 am September, 23 idfma said...

Satin tie, satin
wrist bands–he smiles because he
wears matching panties

7:10 am September, 23 saulgoode42 said...

Club workers take five
Before heading back into
Each others’ asses

7:12 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

A shining liberal light.
Tad never hides his feelings.
Wears cum rag on sleeve.

7:12 am September, 23 FoghornLeghorn said...

No shirt, a bow tie.
That’s a look that never works.
Unless it’s on her.

7:15 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

New tooth models for
Crest White Strips. Removes poo stains
In three easy steps.

7:17 am September, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Open your wallet!
That photo with Miss Grey Goose
Isn’t free, Schmuckstain

7:18 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Always campaigning.
Michelle Bachmann Junior tries
To pray away gay.

7:20 am September, 23 Anonymous said...

Mahogany gimp,
freezes clubland (and tailors),
with basilisk stare.

7:21 am September, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

Crazy Eyed Killa
Hoped to never see you again
Greazepitzs chug balls

7:21 am September, 23 Anonymous said...

I didn’t know they now have surgery that will alow a chick to enlarge her head to match her fake boobies….wow she has a big head!

7:22 am September, 23 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Googley-eyed Choad
Needs swift kick to back of head
chick needs to de-louse.

7:22 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Matching sister’s fame
Hard for Kat Kardashian.
Wanna make a tape?

7:27 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Get the lady a
Gimlet. I’ll have the Cleveland
Steamer straight up, please.

7:28 am September, 23 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Starving Orange ‘Bag
And built up Boobs
Collide to form the noxious miasma

7:31 am September, 23 Condouchious said...

Chippendales reject,
Angers Swayze and Farley,
Afterlife ruined

7:46 am September, 23 jonezy said...

Holy Chest Muffins.
They could save you from drowning.
Or drown you as well.

7:47 am September, 23 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Allergic to shirts
Sally Struthers commercial
begs you to donate

7:54 am September, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Good morning, Killa
The doctor will see you now
For prostate milking

7:55 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

A shrinking bowtie
with a mind of its own would
be welcome right now.

7:58 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

He gives new meaning
to “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. She makes
“bouncer” obvious.

8:03 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Killa makes hover
hand move hoping that a reach
around is in store.

8:05 am September, 23 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Don’t ask, don’t tell, but…
To be truly safe you should
Don’t look and don’t smell

8:17 am September, 23 The Dude said...

Her fun bags almost
Distract me from that shit stick.
Holy Smackerel!

8:32 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

“She took my panties”
cries Killa. Her face says “Both
front and back crusty!”

8:35 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Crazy Eyes Killer
Poster boy for Ritalin
Rides his Sybian.

8:35 am September, 23 johnny applesack said...

Why Jesus? Please why?
Do these two make any sense,
but in our shit world?

8:37 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Front and back crusty
Makes Reverend Chad exhale
Frosty breakfast.

8:37 am September, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Prom poster was clear
In bold print “Black tie AND tails”
Not “Black tie and fails”

8:40 am September, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The first day of autumn
When the pumpkins are swelling
And douche turn orange-er

8:42 am September, 23 johnny applesack said...

Rib inscription reads
“I am a vacuous ass,
now blow me sweetheart.”

8:44 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

His face shows her right
hand is searching for quarter
tips from his coin slot.

8:48 am September, 23 Ol' Dirty Douche said...

One can only hope
Ray of light in background is
freight train on its way.

8:50 am September, 23 Wedgie said...

Reason 9 of my
“Why to avoid Cabo” list
hIs & hers herpes

8:52 am September, 23 Wedgie said...

The very next day
He’s back at the tatt parlor
“Juan, you missed a spot”.

8:55 am September, 23 Daggerbagger' said...

Alvin Chipmunk
Child star turned man scrote
theodore disgusted

9:28 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Hey! Look at this shit
The room and bar’s still open
Toss a few Haikus

9:30 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Sweaty cuff on wrist
Don’t ask where that thing has been
And do not smell it

9:33 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

This guy’s amped on meth
Her gender is in question
Hand me my jackboots

9:34 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

King and Queen by vote
At the midget convention
Hey, congrats, now scram

9:35 am September, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mr. Scrotato
Vin and Wedgie arrive late
Dark Sock is drinkin’.

9:39 am September, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

notice the seat card
in case of water landing
boobie floatation

9:41 am September, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

rejected sex toy
from mail order catalog
a bowtie cockring

9:44 am September, 23 Douche Springsteen said...

his eyes hunger for
photog’s telephoto lens
and not her funbags

9:57 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

Seen this look before
As bug hurdles towards my car
For death by windshiled

9:57 am September, 23 Vin Douchal said...

shiled?

10:05 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Her rubber baby
buggy bumpers interfere
with Killa’s gaydar.

10:07 am September, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Does his face look that
way because he forgot to
put knee pads in jeans?

11:05 am September, 23 Douchetastic Sam said...

We must endure poo
Anxiously awaiting pear
Life’s a cruel bitch

11:13 am September, 23 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Gosh she’s butch-stacked
He’s on Crack
I got nothin…

11:19 am September, 23 Wedgie said...

^Barron: 4-3-4
Is a poor man’s Haiku-lite
Buy more syllables

4:00 pm September, 23 Steve L. said...

diarrhea just
about to explode from his
rectum. watch out Kim!

8:16 am September, 24 my friends call me @$$hole said...

gay bag does not count…
gay bag does not fucking count!
gay bag does not count…

know what i’m sayin’?

12:44 pm September, 25 diedouche said...

turd

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