Friday, September 9, 2011

Friday Thoughts and Links

Ah yes, the Z-Axis Hat Tilt.

A rare event. Like the Aurora Borealis. Or hearing a car horn in Los Angeles.

Another Friday comes to pass, and I find my thoughts drifting lazily to thoughts of cookies.

Cookies are so great. I enjoy them heartily. They even have a cute name. How many products are named for the process by which they are produced?

Very few. Think about it. And that’s alls I got.

Here’s your links:

Your HCwDB Grand Guignol DVD Pick of the Week: “I was busy pushing bodies around as you well know and what would a note say, Dan? ‘Cat dead, details later’?”

File under pics I probably shouldn’t run but will anyway: Hot Chicks with Stephen Hawking. “Hot Chicks” being a relative term. Get it? Get it? Relative… oh nevermind. And way to make ‘Bag Hand Gesture #314159 there, Hawkingbag.

The sexiest woman of the summer: Semitic Librarian Hott and Future Ex-Mrs. DB1 #5.

But even Mila can’t compete with the hottness of interspecies Alpaca-Kitty action. So hot.

Full throttle douche bottle! Kinda amusing.

Pauly D continues to be the most profitable douchebag of 2011. I will renew drinking heavily. The war is being lost.

But you are not here for Pauly D updates. You are hear for top shelf quality premium Gnaw Pear, are you not? You are. Then here you go:

Vanity Mirror Pear

The vanity is deserved.

Go forth. Go forth and poke chomp slap. For our female ‘bag hunters, go forth and flirt with a funny guy. We’re hot too. Even without the six pack abs.

# posted by douchebag1
12:43 pm September, 9 Douchie Spellcheck said...

Must … worship … ass …

12:46 pm September, 9 Tanath said...

Is that Bruce Lee in the background?

12:49 pm September, 9 Wheezer said...

Vanity Mirror Pear should have vanity mirrors. She has earned them.

12:53 pm September, 9 Your_moms_a_douche said...

Enough with the DVDs from the mid 80s you forever alone, hopeless Faggant®.

1:04 pm September, 9 Vin Douchal said...

@ Mr White
.
New Jayhawks out soon.
.

1:18 pm September, 9 Hurl Scheibe said...

@ Vin.

I bought my sixth row tickets for the Jayhawks and got an erection that lasted more than six hours.

1:20 pm September, 9 Hurl Scheibe said...

And I can’t wait to hear She Walks In So Many Ways. Classic Jayhawks.

1:29 pm September, 9 tall guy said...

Jayhawks sounds good! I like the alpaca kitty action as well. Enjoy your weekend fellow ‘Bag hunters. I plan to take surfing photos and take it real easy.

1:50 pm September, 9 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Yes, I am here for the high quality dessert pear. And that is high quality, indeed.
.
And fortunately, I’ve not stopped drinking heavily…

1:58 pm September, 9 Wise Gal said...

Flirt with a funny guy? That’s all I’ve been doing. So far zilcho return on investment.
.
Whoever shaves an alpaca like a show poodle and then tops it off by putting toenail polish on their hooves is a total fucking douchebag. Don’t distract me with a cute kitten. I see through that bullshit.

2:26 pm September, 9 IL Douché said...

“How many products are named for the process by which they are produced?” Um, let’s see. Fries, chips, pickles, soufflé, fondue, bangers, croutons, paella, lardon, gelato, crackers, fritters. Also, douchebags smell like ass jiblets.

2:36 pm September, 9 Douchetastic said...

I believe today’s pear is none other than internet soft-core goddess, Karla Spice. Spicy indeed.

3:05 pm September, 9 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wise Girl
.
Keep flirting, it will pay off. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I’m pretty fuccen dense when it comes to wimmin flirting with me. I just think they like my usually awful jokes. You probably need to hit your intended target over the head (more than once if necessary) to let him you’re interested. Shit, my wife had to ask me out I’m that fuccen stupid. Nerds and geeks don’t always want to get in your pants (at least not right away) because they do have other things that interest their minds. Maybe like your mind. Just sayin’….

3:35 pm September, 9 Wise Gal said...

Thanks Doc B. 😉

3:55 pm September, 9 Wheezer said...

Hey guys and gals, do we need this chick to prove this claim?
.
My Magic 8-Ball points to the ceiling—–errrrr, I mean, “yes.”

3:59 pm September, 9 Stephanie said...

I prefer funny guys,myself. Steven Hawking is a sexy geek!
Even if he drools once in a while,I can live with that.

1:35 am September, 10 Baron Von Goolo said...

mmm….guignoley…Barbara Crampton…fapppity fap fap…

5:20 am September, 10 Douchble Helix said...

A librarian hott without glasses? That’s librarian power!
.
By the way, fellas, be sure to check out that whole Mila photo gallery. 15 yummy pics. Yep, that’s my link contribution this week.

5:53 am September, 10 Douchble Helix said...

That brunette next to z-hat isn’t really a hott.
That hair parted in the middle with the emaciated body look is prevalent ’round the world, but I think it’s just a wrapping on a not-so-good package.

6:16 am September, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/story/_/id/6933214/tmq-mel-kiper-jr-size-increase-football-players
.
NFL preview Haiku. Awful….

6:19 am September, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Jessica-Jane Clement
.
http://www.hollywoodtuna.com/?p=61638

8:23 am September, 10 Douchble Helix said...

Easterbrooke is great. You got it all wrong.

9:33 am September, 10 The Dude said...

Asshats are named for the process by which they are produced, but cookies are better.
.
.
Waaaay better. And cuter.

9:35 am September, 10 The Dude said...

Pudwanks too. Not cuter, puddier.

9:51 am September, 10 Mr. White said...

@vin, hurl scheibe
I still have an erection from the back to back shows in NYC last winter.
.
Should I see a doctor or something?

9:57 am September, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

Mmmmmmmmm Vanity Mirror Pear!!!!
.
@Vin
I just picked up “Not So Loud”: An Acoustic Evening With The Bottle Rockets their latest release, I’m really diggin’ it. As per the previous thread you mentioned the Jayhawks, any album in particular that is a must have? Also picked up “Ramble at The Ryman” by Levon Helm, good stuff!!!!

9:57 am September, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I keep hearing the Jayhawks everywhere I go.

10:30 am September, 10 schlicht bindenburger said...

this poobagwackianboner has the classic stunned dooosh expression! the one that sez,’ is that an thumb in my ass, or one of your fingers…bananahands’!

12:13 pm September, 10 doucheywallnuts said...

I hate Twitter. Someone should come up with a sexual innuendo equivalent and call it Clitter. 140 characters to talk dirty.

2:40 pm September, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

Does cleaning all the guns in the house with Mr. B. count as flirting with a funny guy? We were farting and laughing a lot the whole time….

9:14 pm September, 10 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Dear Lord NY Times, not you too?

11:31 pm September, 10 Wheezer said...

And way to make ‘Bag Hand Gesture #314159 there, Hawkingbag.
.
Only now have I noticed the π reference. Nicely done, Boss.

11:52 pm September, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

I was in Kansas a coupl’a months ago and not only heard the Jayhawks, I saw them everywhere.

3:00 pm September, 11 Steve L. said...

i’m 2 days late, but i’m only posting here to register proper respeck for Vanity Mirror Pear.
there. i said it.

3:13 pm September, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Pi, eh? The Boss is getting all intellectual and shit with us, is he?
Fuck that!

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