Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Happy 5772!!

Happy New Year to all Hebraic readers of the Talmudic persuasion. 5,772 years ago, the culture that bought us this and this, and, oh yeah, your humble narrator, began its calendar.

That video needs more Semitic Hottness, and less Orthobags.

# posted by douchebag1
6:42 pm September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As an atonement for my Ashkenazi she-tribe preparing for Yom Kippur I have stopped forcing Mrs. Kroeger to wear Princess Amidala garb for the next week.
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The Rosh Hashanah dinner was a big fatty Montreal-style bacon pizza and vanilla milkshakes prepared by uncircumsized Sepphardic Jews which my family has kept hiidden for the last 70 years. The new generation does a dance something like this when I electrify the floor in the pens. Funny little buggers.

6:55 pm September, 28 Guid is Good said...

Yid rap? Where did I put my bomb belt?

6:56 pm September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

“Abraham begat Isaac. Isaac begat Hayes. Hayes begat Shaft. Shaft begat Shut yo mouth!” So it was written, so it shall befunk. Jesse Jackson style hymie-fro. Shaft begat Huggie Bear. Huggie Bear begat Ben Stiller and G-D’s work was done. Diabeetus and grape juice distorted the lost tribe of Mutherfuckers.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZcHkMwzOiM
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I hope this comment wasn’t racist like the last one. I’m crunked out on Nytol and Kool-Aid Yo Oy. You ever notice that yo and oy are very similar. King Solomons.
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Knisches

6:57 pm September, 28 doucheywallnuts said...

Do the orthodox Jews do it through the sheet with the hole in it when anal is involved?

6:58 pm September, 28 creature said...

more jewessesessesesses please

6:59 pm September, 28 doucheywallnuts said...

By the way, early October is Anal Sex Awareness Time, where all women are encouraged to have as much anal sex as possible. No coincidence that my birthday is in early October…

7:00 pm September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Yes DW.
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Fucking 2’s.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2cHkMwzOiM

7:05 pm September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Little known factoid. Black Moses, Isaac Hayes, owned Jesse Jackson’s tight young rosebud during the fall Holy Days on the caledar of Judea before he died of the cursed diabeetus.
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Wilfred’s

7:10 pm September, 28 Me said...

Jew The Right Thing…..and don’t watch this video. Instead I’ll watch Thor with the Rifftrax on. Mocking Natalie Portman has never been sweeter.

7:15 pm September, 28 USA=Colony of Israel said...

I wish more jews would stand up against zionism on this day.

7:23 pm September, 28 MissM said...

What I want to know is this: How many holes can they put in the sheet? Just 1, 2, 3 or more??? Can the sheet have holes in the front & back too?

7:27 pm September, 28 McCrude said...

When do us Zoroastrians get our own holiday?
This is fuccen bullshit.
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Mila Kunis FTW.

7:31 pm September, 28 Douchble Helix said...

How come these guys aren’t all orange? Where’s the blowouts? And the skanks?
DB1, why is this night different than all other nights?

8:44 pm September, 28 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

That video made me embarrassed to be Jewish. And I’m not.

9:05 pm September, 28 Wedgie said...

In New York Jewish accent:
“Oy; those yeshiva boys bust such a move, I tell you.”
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Shekels

9:39 pm September, 28 tall guy said...

I know very little about the hebrew faith in general and 5772 in particular. As far as broadcasting their belief goes in a way similar to, say, some Catholic folk I know, my jewish friends hide theirs like an aching lung. I always mean to ask them why, but I figure if they ever want to discuss it they will raise the subject.
Viva la hebrews.
I’m uncircumcised too.
Clean as a whistle.

10:00 pm September, 28 creature said...

^heathen
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smashing end to the regular MLB season with historic implosions by the Braves & BoSox….sox lost 20 games in Sept…ya don’t get a shot at the title when ya close like that
Shadrach

6:45 am September, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Here in Utah the locals celebrate the holiday by watching a heavily edited, g-rated version of “Schindler’s List” after which they all look at each other and say things like “Hmmm, I wonder what all the fuss was about? Those Germans seemed like very organized people.” After which they go out and do some more baptisms for the dead and wonder, AGAIN, why there are so many Jewish sounding names on the list. Ah well, once they’re Mormon all their silly traditions won’t really matter anymore. Happy 90210!

7:59 am September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I thought the LMFAO video was bad
but, Oy vey!, this takes the cake. “Every day I’m shucklin’.” FTW!

8:54 am September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Oys To Men

8:54 am September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Backstreet Oys

9:15 am September, 29 Face Ripper Monkey said...

His comments are among the least funny and he has the balls to criticize DB1. Repeatedly. Go the fuck away Douchble Helix and stay there.

12:09 pm September, 29 skrag2112 said...

Oy Gey!

7:55 pm September, 29 Douchble Helix said...

FRM – What are you going to do about it, you stupid fuck? All you have is a goddam keyboard.
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FuckFace.

8:29 am September, 30 Face Ripper Monkey said...

^ You’re running with the big dogs here so you have to bring your “A” game every time. You can’t mail your shit in like you did over at The Chive or 4Chan. The point of THIS site is to be funny not some whiny little asshole who complains about other people’s jokes not being PC or racist and then turn around and do exactly the same thing later in the same thread. Besides, I don’t hear anybody running to your defense so that must mean no one else here thinks you’re funny either.
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Oh and as far as what I going to do about it? Well, you just gained your own stalker until you quit posting. For as long as it takes. And you new name will be Whiny Little Bitch because it suits you better. Others have been run off the site who were a lot funnier than you so what’s one more?

11:06 am September, 30 Douchble Helix said...

You are a self-professed troll, then.
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I will have no more to do with you.

12:14 pm September, 30 Face Ripper Monkey said...

Just just did Whiny Little Bitch. Damn you’re stupid too.

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