Monday, September 5, 2011

Happy Labor Day!!

From all us here at HCwDB. And by all of us, I mean me. And the occasional horse peer.

Remember to take a moment to honor the labor movements of history as you BBQ your burgers and dogs. For without them, your sorry ass would’ve been cleaning chimneys at 9 years old.

Regular updates resume tomorrow. Today, we drink, burp, scratch and recline.

# posted by douchebag1
7:26 am September, 5 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

You don’t “BBQ” burgers and dogs. You grill them. We don’t do many things correctly here in the South, but at least we know the proper definition of “BBQ.”

7:28 am September, 5 Ted Brogan said...

Son, wearing a shirt that warns of your “Dork Face” is still not justification for your obnoxious face-shielding mask. But congratulations. Despite your handicap, you’ve wrangled in duck-faced Lisa and Bumpit-haired Tammy. You are an inspiration to the differently-abled people of the world.

7:32 am September, 5 Douchble Helix said...

“For without them, your sorry ass would’ve been cleaning chimneys at 9 years old.”
It’s really that simple. God bless you, Jay Louis.

7:34 am September, 5 Douchble Helix said...

…and shove that ‘grill’ up your hillbilly ass memphis doucheworkers local 421.

7:48 am September, 5 troy tempest said...

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

8:07 am September, 5 UFO Destroyers said...

@Memphis:
As a former Memphian myself, I have to agree with your assessment of the difference between BBQ and grilling. Unfortunately, this weekend has been a washout with some sort of storm that has brought all kinds of horse butt peers inland. Has anybody see Darksock lately?

8:11 am September, 5 UFO Destroyers said...

True fact: This was one of the sceens from the original Romy and Michelle movie entitled “Electric Boogaloo Bleeths Breakin’ with JCVD.”

8:11 am September, 5 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

Douchble Helix:

Hillbilly or not, apparently I’m the only around here who knows the difference between a grill and and a smoker. Barbecue is made by slow cooking meat using wood smoke at low temperature over long period of time in an enclosed space. It is not throwing stuff on a grill in your back yard. That’s fine, it’s just not barbecue. Now walk your weak yankee ass to the basement door, call upstairs to your mom, have her microwave you a nice salisbury steak and bring you a pop, and then shut the fuck up.

8:13 am September, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I don’t got no beef with the grill v. BBQ argument. That’s just old Confederate propagandhi.
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I ain’t got no love or hatred of unions. But I do believe that self-determination and entrepreneurship are the core of an economy. Capitalists do owe their employees a good life and chance at a great life, however employees interpret what is good or great is up to them. Capitalist crooks who play with the economy to steal investors money outright should go to jail, not just the Bernies. The system needs adjustment.
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Anyhow where the fuck is Jerry Lewis. And I have found on rare film the beginning of the labour movement during the Industrial Revolution. Here in Canada we celebrate Labour Day, with a “u”, by going to Lenny The Box’s house for a game of pass the proletariat. Then we volunteer over at the Royal Canadian Legion for a steak and walleye BBQ for the ten WW2 vets still alive and get drunk.
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The Rise Of The Working Man:
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8:15 am September, 5 Douchble Helix said...

I haven’t been hit with the “living in Mom’s basement” smackdown in a while. Man, it really hurts!!
I’ll not mess with the like of you again, that’s for sure.

9:11 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

@ 8:07AM UFO Destoyers Said….
“Unfortunately, this weekend has been a washout with some sort of storm that has brought all kinds of horse butt peers inland. Has anybody see Darksock lately?
.
Now as we all know he of the DarkSock has professed to “I peed in a horse once” however he was never clear on WERE he peed into said horse. Which leads me to ask was it in the butt, as many assume? could it be he peed into it’s mouth? it’s nostrils? ears?.
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What kind of horse was it? if it was a standard horse then how tall is DarkSock?. Was he working a fence line on a horse ranch got bored climbed on fence and began micturating?. Was he in a barn loft taking a post coital leak, after having just banged the local farmers whore daughter, when he spotted a horse below and thought let’s see how my aim is. If it was a seahorse then it kinda makes sense what with his passion for drunken, ambien fueled boating.

9:37 am September, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Can we please, PLease, PLEAs, PLEASE stop picking nits with everything? Jesus fucck! Let’s focus on the picture and the fucktards therein.
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I’m guessing that Geordie wasn’t in the right spot at the right time and got stuck on planet Bimboozalak 7 where he forced to lead the rest of his life as baby maker until they figured out he lacked the proper equipment.

9:42 am September, 5 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Et Tu
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I have a complicated theory that involves the USC marching band, 7 tubs of Bubblicious Bubble Gum, 1 bottle of Makers Mark, 17 Ambien, Buzz Aldrin, 34 yodleling South American alpacas, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s left tennis shoe. I have a small gap in theory (I have a space called “a miracle occurs here”) but I may be on to something.

9:48 am September, 5 Mr. White said...

@doc bunsen
Damn it, it’s “nit-picking,” not “picking nits.”
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Grammarians

9:57 am September, 5 memphis doucheworkers local 421 said...

I apologize. The baghunting mission will never succeed with this type of internal squabbling, and we all know that the Greico plague crossed the Mason-Dixon line years ago. We have more important things to do, such as mocking Geordi LaCyclops.

10:08 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

I just looked at the posted pic and I might be wrong but is that Frank Mecurio glowing & hovering in the background to left Sy Clops?

10:15 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

I’m grilling, damn. In ankle deep water in my lightly flooded back yard, with a damned umbrella over my head. Rain’s getting in my bourbon. Sirloin burgers with blue cheese startin’ to melt.
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@ Et Tu Douche – It was a Palomino, via a sucking stab wound. Ambien and Fighting Cock bourbon was involved, as was a bicycle pump, some peroxide, a Schick razor and some butterfly stitches. And some wood splints; no one can pee with an erection, and jabbing a soft member into a bucking horse is like shooting pool during an earthquake with a length of rope.
.
.
.
.
What?

10:16 am September, 5 DarkSock said...

@ Et Tu Douche – Yes, not only is it Frank Mercurio, but that’s one of his vanadium balls in right hott’s hair.
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Looks like he’s gotten out of Medusa’s nightstand again.

10:20 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Dr Bunsen
Interesting theory, but I do believe there is something missing, I’m thinking a diseased petting zoo miniature horse, a 12 pack of Dixie Brewings Crimson Voodoo Ale and a bad attitude. I could be wrong though.

10:24 am September, 5 Et Tu Douche? said...

Finally some closure, thanks DarkSock for clearing this up. I can now go back to wondering why it’s 67 degrees & pouring rain today when it was 97 and humid just 2 days ago.
.
.
Dry Rubbers

10:53 am September, 5 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have heard that Dark Sock is a well-endowed Negroid gentleman of great means and gentile family background standing about 6′-3″, 6′-4″ after 2 drinks. His height diminishes to 8″ after a bottle of bourbon and he is wrapped in the Southern Cross speaking in tongues Episcopal-style. At such height tropical storms are dangerous so he wears S.C.U.B.A. gear as he begins to feel the effects of Ambien and honks the horn on his Beemer to the Dukes of Hazzard rally call so the kids know it’s time to call FEMA.
.
His parties go something like this:
.

11:02 am September, 5 creature said...

for all my high priced labour brethren out there….a round of vulva

11:02 am September, 5 schlicht bindenburger said...

kill it with DU….YOU CUNTS!

12:03 pm September, 5 tall guy said...

At some point in my tragic existence I’ve previously been exposed to the douche-in-a-blade-visor syndrome. I’ve been in denial about it, I know. Preferring to pretend it didn’t really happen. Whatever else I’ve thought about it, I’m also still quite amazed/disgusted by it. I am puzzled how anyone could consider it a good look, and deeply offended that someone actually does. Of all the douchessories, which, you will doubtlessly agree, fellow ‘Bag hunters, represent a rather large cross-section of vile, unwanted objects, the reflector blade visor (worn in some hellish nightclub no less) exceeds all minimum standard signifiers for generations of inbreeding.

Cletus.
Brandine.

2:48 pm September, 5 entropy1 said...

gonna watch Matewan, http://movies.netflix.com/Search?ac_posn=1&v1=Matewan&oq=mate

and drink, I try to get my kids to watch this to show them what was, and could be

3:08 pm September, 5 soy bomb said...

Your jizz-goggles impress no one, jackhole.
.
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nit-wits

4:20 pm September, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Strait to DVD Tron 3: Douches on the Grid. With the death of Kevin Flynn and the destruction of C.L.U. the gaming grid has been left unchecked and become overrun with douche and Bleeth programs.

5:46 pm September, 5 Doucheywallnuts said...

This is the newest pop/hip hop group to hit the scene, The Blow-Eyed Bleeths, featuring douche.i.am.

6:04 pm September, 5 Mr. White said...

Clearly, Dork Face is a bleeth welder, and he’s joined these poor drunk girls together. They’ll regret that in the morning.

6:34 pm September, 5 diedouche said...

Hey fucktard, your buddy that told you that you looked cool before you left the house was actually high on meth. I suggest you also take enough meth so that your internal organs rape each other and you run out in front of a bus. George Michael also called and said you’re an asshole. By the way, one of those chicks is a dude. Guess which one.

7:28 pm September, 5 9 year Old Chimney Sweep said...

Blimey its dark and dirty up in those chimneys. I like to liken it to the vaginer of Plinky’s mum. Good day govnas!

8:33 pm September, 5 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Also if anyone plays the game of “your team” which I suspect they do, this guy is on your team.

9:07 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote has bacon for blood and can run faster underwater than on land.

9:07 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote once threw a cat into orbit.

9:07 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote has money for hair.

9:08 pm September, 5 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote downloads Scotch from iTunes.

10:11 pm September, 5 The Dude said...

If you get arrested for peeing in a horse, do you get a trial by a jury of your peers?

5:10 am September, 6 creature said...

Samurai Scrote can whistle the Bohemian Rhapsody through his urethra

5:10 am September, 6 creature said...

Samurai Scrote has muscle made of pork rind

5:12 am September, 6 creature said...

Samurai Scrote drools battery acid

5:13 am September, 6 creature said...

Samurai Scrote plays hockey with baby seals…as the pucks
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…damn you DarkSock, you knew I’d bite

5:16 am September, 6 creature said...

Samurai Scrote eats bear claw
fresh & bloody

6:18 am September, 6 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote body surfs; he prefers children.

6:18 am September, 6 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote’s favorite beverage is Bear.

6:21 am September, 6 DarkSock said...

Samurai Scrote made a replicant of himself called iScrote; he accidentally broke the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant in an attempt to power it up.

3:55 pm September, 6 Wolfram74 said...

“Remember to take a moment to honor the labor movements of history as you BBQ your burgers and dogs. For without them, your sorry ass would’ve been cleaning chimneys at 9 years old.”

Amen 🙂

6:52 am September, 7 DarkSock said...

But…I was cleaning chimneys at 9 years old. And we don’t even have fireplaces in the deep south.

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