Monday, September 19, 2011

HCwDB of the Week: The Lancelot Boyz and Perfectly Hot PTA Mom Vanessa

With a late-week run of pics, including Lancelot Boy Melvin and Stephanie, a Classic ‘Bag Sandwich on Laurie, and once again Bothering Vanessa and her Bestie in a Room Full of Bros, it wasn’t even close.

And yes, that’s Perfect PTA Hottie Vanessa in both pics, as proven by this side-by-side created by reader Douchble Helix.

Our first entrant in the next HCwDB of the Month brings the hott side hott, and the douche side toady.

Thassa lotta shirtless douchery in the presence of A List Gnaw Girls. More than enough to win a deserved place in our next Monthly.

For the L.B.s are real world preening spectacle of zombified unthinking neo-Nordic fascism and leaders in the future war of ethnic cleansing and eugenics.

Okay, maybe that’s a tad far. But more than enough to trump the oafish clownish meth addictions of Riff Raff and Stripper Girl #45.

Although honorable mention must be paid to the perfect spackkle pear of Amazonian Stripper Pair and Holy Cleavite of Tonya the Tiger in Willie The Kidd Discovers the Rare Amazonian Stripper Pear.

Also props to Bolivian Slip hangin’ with Lounge Lizard Larry Borrows 40 Bucks. That’s a tasty third world milkshake of fondle grab I haven’t seen since gun running for Zapata during the revolution.

# posted by douchebag1
7:00 am September, 19 Wheezer said...

Arrrrr, ’tis an abomination o’ th’ highest order!
.
Oh yeah, today is “International Talk Like A Pirate Day.” I’m sure there’s some significance here – can’t we make Predatorbag (right) walk a plank? He is chum.

7:08 am September, 19 Douchble Helix said...

I am honored.
Bench Warmer gets Executive Producer credit for spotting it.
You get shit for Perfectly Hot PTA Mom Vanessa not being in the HoH yet.
It’s a tough town, DB1. You’re only as good as your next hit.
Remember that.

7:09 am September, 19 Wheezer said...

I’m^^ not claiming the original recognizance of Predatorbag – that goes to Bob Mcadouche in this thread.

7:11 am September, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Really, DB1? “…reader Douchble Helix.”
Not ”baghunter”?
Not “regular”?
Not “frequent contributor”?
Not “funnyman”?
Who needs all this shitty disrepect, anyways?
Fuck You DB1 !!!

7:18 am September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Argh… ’bout time for Vanessa to sail to the hallowed HoH, matey.
.
And while your at it, why isn’t the right honorable McCrudeshoes in the HoM? ’tis a travesty I says.

7:58 am September, 19 Hurl Scheibe said...

Perfect PTA Vanessa for HOH!!

8:12 am September, 19 BenchWarmer said...

Thanks for the shout out DH. But really it was your “Emotions on MS Paint” that deserves the real credit. And yeah why isn’t McCrudeshoes in the Hall of Mock? And Hermit too. Those two baghunters are my top two favorites. It would.be a shame to see them not get recognized for their contributions. As for me alls I want is for hottie PTA mom to get in that HOH. This place appears to be like the DMV and there’s like a bunch of red tape before shit gets done. What’s it gonna take to get an attractive lady some attention?!!! These Greico updates are killing me!
.
PS Thanks to true bag hunter idfma who offered to save me. At least someone around here is taking the mission statement seriously.

8:25 am September, 19 Vin Douchal said...

Let’s not dilute the hallowed halls just yet. Db1 hands out his inclusions each year at the same time. Be patient, grasshoppers
.
PTA Mom Vanessa smokes. Yuck

8:54 am September, 19 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Her legs are kinda skinny, but I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for smoking…or would I?

9:01 am September, 19 Face Ripper Monkey said...

Hey Douchble Helix, go change your tampon. “Hey DB1 look at me, LOOK at me, LOOK AT me, LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jeez, a four girl with a skinned knee is less needy than you are.

9:11 am September, 19 Hurl Scheibe said...

Vin, if in addition to smoking cigarettes she also enjoys schmoking pole, would you forgive the pecadillo?

It’s nothing that a mint or two can’t cure, and besides the last time I checked mine, my penis didn’t have nostrils.

9:26 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

Why the FUCK isn’t everyone putting “YARRRRR” at the end of their posts???
.
.
.
Yarrrr.

9:28 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

I assume PTA stands for “Pretty Tight Ass”.
.
A strong winner…but I cannot fathom how a douche-hole event horizon on the magnitude of Riff-Raff, replete with Bootylicious Walking Daddy Issue Girl, is somehow not marching to the monthly, like some rough beast slouching toward Bethlehem…
.
YARRRRRRR!!!!!!

9:32 am September, 19 DarkSock said...

@ Face-Ripper Monkey: While I appreciate you staying true to your handle, I believe Douchble Helix’s outburst is firmly tongue in cheek.
.
And by “firm tongue in cheek” I am referring to PTA Mom’s fart box, Medusa, and a hand-held Hi-Def camcorder shaking in a suspiciously rhythmic up-and-down motion.
.
yarrrrr….swabbin’ the ol’ poop-deck with me long john silver….Yo Ho Ho and a rocket of cum on a silicone chest…

9:41 am September, 19 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Yarrr… i would walk her plank.

9:45 am September, 19 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Yarrr… I would run out of pirate analogies at one.

10:07 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Face Ripper, Bench Warmer, and Douchble Helix are the same troubled person as Nancy Dreuche and the rest of her. You alll know that right? Probably the same as the one that punctuated everything with….”YOU CUNTS” as well. It’s hard being more than one person.
.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

10:08 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrr! PTA Vannessa makes my timber shiver!

10:09 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrr, I would bury my sword to the hilt in her booty!

10:10 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrr, I would teabag her with my rumballs!

10:11 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrr, I would shave the barnacles off her hull!

10:12 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrr, I would Davey Jones her fur locker

10:12 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrgh, I would pegleg her starfish

10:13 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrgh, I would mutiny her bounty

10:13 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrgh I would release on her Kraken!

10:14 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrgh, I would roger her jolly!

10:16 am September, 19 creature said...

@ rev 10:07
a tired 1 ‘man’ act it is

10:17 am September, 19 creature said...

Yarrrgh!

10:30 am September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Rev,
I assume everyone is Nancy Drouche, including Dude McCrudeshoes. It’s the safest bet. And by safe, I mean best not to poke him/her too much as he/she is batshit insane. I mean delightful.
.
Yarrrr

10:30 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yarrrgh! I’d put a keel in her jib.

10:31 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaaargh! I’d Nancy her Dreuche.

10:32 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yarrrgh! I’d swab her poopdeck.

10:32 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaaargh! I’d flint her cannon.

10:33 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaargh! I’d keelhaul her uterus.

10:33 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaargh! I’d slam ny P-51 Mustang into her crowd.
.
Too soon?

10:34 am September, 19 Anonymous said...

^Yarrrr, it cute to see the old guys sticking together.

10:35 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yarrgh! I’d Tally-ho her coxswain.

10:35 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaarrgh! I’d Port her starboard.

10:36 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaargh! I’d mast her gangplanks.

10:36 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Yaargh! I’d Old Man her Sea.

10:37 am September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’d batten her hatches.
.
I’d trim her jib.
.
I’d Dude her McCrudeshoes.

10:40 am September, 19 Medusa Oblongata said...

That tattoo on his pec is looking more and more like a target the more I see it. Or a dartboard. Or whatever involves puncturing the center with a high-velocity projectile of some sort.
.
That being said, I would indeed take DarkSock’s suggestion and give PTA Vanessa a tongue-punch in the fart box.
I’d lip slap her giggle button.
I’d finger-wrassle her milk valves.
I’d mouth-hug her lapper.
I guess I should also throw in some pirate stuff, but it looks like Creatch and the Rev got to it already.
.
Scallywags.

10:48 am September, 19 DoucheyWallnuts said...

For I am not DoucheyWallnuts – and I am definitely NOT schlicht bindenburger – the daughter of Dwayne and Alma Wallnuts. No, I’m not. I’m Edward Wallnuts, the recluse brother of my sister Anthea. Edward Wallnuts, who has finally vindicated his sister’s good name. I am Edward Wallnuts. Edward Wallnuts. And I’m not mentally ill, but proud, and lucky, and strong enough to be the woman that was the best part of my manhood. The best part of myself.

10:54 am September, 19 Hurl Scheibe said...

Left Hott from Lounge Lizard Larry has some Grand Tetons. I mean Grand!!

11:09 am September, 19 Hurl Scheibe said...

Tounge Punches to the Fart Box. If that’s what kind of thing goes on at the local PTA, sign me up.

11:10 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Tootsie!! Fuck haven’t seen that in a Nancy Dreuche’s age.
.
I forgot how much I hate working. The lying and conniving that goes on around here is unbelievable. I can’t stand the people yelling and screaming and shitting on the floor. Romances running amock and ruining morale. Good thing I work alone.
.
Aargh!

11:10 am September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Son.

11:22 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrrgh! I’d plunder her booty

11:22 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d soil her maiden voyage

11:23 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d knock her boots

11:23 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d titty fuck her masthead! (& it wouldn’t look ridiculous DS)

11:24 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d hump the bilge outta her aft

11:25 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d split her beam

11:25 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d gaff her hold

11:26 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d pillage her cabin

11:27 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d breach her hull

11:28 am September, 19 creature said...

Arrrgh! I’d patch her brown-eye…
Bo-Son!

11:35 am September, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Rev, if I wasn’t unavoidably somewhat aware of your personal demons, I would be pissed.
As it is, Douchble Helix ain’t no one else. You oughta keep your yap shut when you don’t know what you’re talking about.
.
Buccaneers

12:13 pm September, 19 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Wow! Just wow. Sorry DH if apologies are in order. But still, you are encouraging a troll.
.
Patches

12:29 pm September, 19 creature said...

^yup…heed the RUMblings of a man’o’the cloth who sees life through technocolour glasses
corsairs…Yarrrgh!

12:55 pm September, 19 tall guy said...

This particular shot of Vanessa gives her the appearance of being hotter than she actually is I reckon. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. She’s still hott, but with her inherent eating disorders, driven by her rampantly obsessed self-image (or visa-versa) means she’d probably be inane company unless one centred one’s thoughts of waking moment on her – or something…

1:10 pm September, 19 tall guy said...

er… Train wreck above shoulda read:
This particular shot of Vanessa gives her the appearance of being hotter than she actually is, I reckon. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. She’s still hott, but her inherent eating disorders, driven by her rampantly obsessed self-image (or visa-versa) means she’d probably be inane company unless one centred every waking moment on her – or something…

3:43 pm September, 19 DarkSock said...

Milk valves…Fur locker…heh heh
.
.
save them for later.
.
Yar!

4:49 pm September, 19 Anonymous said...

@Dude McCrude 10:30a, I believe we prefer the term batshit loco. And by we, I mean us.

5:41 pm September, 19 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

My apologies, Sybil. Please leave the chainsaw in the shed. Your current skin suit makes your ass look rockin’ hot.

6:16 pm September, 19 Anonymous said...

^Thanks again DMcC. I know how important a nice looking pear is.

9:45 pm September, 19 Bob Mcadouche said...

So, props to Douchble Helix for tagging the hot but nothing for tagging Predatorbag? What gives DB1?

10:15 pm September, 19 Douchble Helix said...

Mac, being as this blog is, and should be about all things regarding the aforementioned Douchble Helix, I’m taking the liberty of re-posting my response to your discovery.
To wit: “12:53 am September, 17 Douchble Helix said…
That’s him. Great job! Follow the link, above. Drooppy McScrote is an all-timer. So is his hott.”
.
You’ll get your deserved recognition from DB1 sometime after he puts PTA mom Vanessa in the HoH. And by that, I mean “don’t hold your breath”.

[…] • Hot Chicks With Douchebags: PTA mom Vanessa […]

10:36 am September, 20 Bob Mcadouche said...

This site has given me so many laughs mocking douchebags and admiring the hotts that so often accompany them. So I am just glad to help the tagging.

Helix, we must all continue the battle against the bags that infect our very existence. Keep fighting the good fight my friend.

Leave a Reply

What is 9 + 7 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)