HCwDB of the Week: The Lancelot Boyz and Perfectly Hot PTA Mom Vanessa
With a late-week run of pics, including Lancelot Boy Melvin and Stephanie, a Classic ‘Bag Sandwich on Laurie, and once again Bothering Vanessa and her Bestie in a Room Full of Bros, it wasn’t even close.
And yes, that’s Perfect PTA Hottie Vanessa in both pics, as proven by this side-by-side created by reader Douchble Helix.
Our first entrant in the next HCwDB of the Month brings the hott side hott, and the douche side toady.
Thassa lotta shirtless douchery in the presence of A List Gnaw Girls. More than enough to win a deserved place in our next Monthly.
For the L.B.s are real world preening spectacle of zombified unthinking neo-Nordic fascism and leaders in the future war of ethnic cleansing and eugenics.
Okay, maybe that’s a tad far. But more than enough to trump the oafish clownish meth addictions of Riff Raff and Stripper Girl #45.
Although honorable mention must be paid to the perfect spackkle pear of Amazonian Stripper Pair and Holy Cleavite of Tonya the Tiger in Willie The Kidd Discovers the Rare Amazonian Stripper Pear.
Also props to Bolivian Slip hangin’ with Lounge Lizard Larry Borrows 40 Bucks. That’s a tasty third world milkshake of fondle grab I haven’t seen since gun running for Zapata during the revolution.
Arrrrr, ’tis an abomination o’ th’ highest order!
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Oh yeah, today is “International Talk Like A Pirate Day.” I’m sure there’s some significance here – can’t we make Predatorbag (right) walk a plank? He is chum.
I am honored.
Bench Warmer gets Executive Producer credit for spotting it.
You get shit for Perfectly Hot PTA Mom Vanessa not being in the HoH yet.
It’s a tough town, DB1. You’re only as good as your next hit.
Remember that.
I’m^^ not claiming the original recognizance of Predatorbag – that goes to Bob Mcadouche in this thread.
Really, DB1? “…reader Douchble Helix.”
Not ”baghunter”?
Not “regular”?
Not “frequent contributor”?
Not “funnyman”?
Who needs all this shitty disrepect, anyways?
Fuck You DB1 !!!
Argh… ’bout time for Vanessa to sail to the hallowed HoH, matey.
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And while your at it, why isn’t the right honorable McCrudeshoes in the HoM? ’tis a travesty I says.
Perfect PTA Vanessa for HOH!!
Thanks for the shout out DH. But really it was your “Emotions on MS Paint” that deserves the real credit. And yeah why isn’t McCrudeshoes in the Hall of Mock? And Hermit too. Those two baghunters are my top two favorites. It would.be a shame to see them not get recognized for their contributions. As for me alls I want is for hottie PTA mom to get in that HOH. This place appears to be like the DMV and there’s like a bunch of red tape before shit gets done. What’s it gonna take to get an attractive lady some attention?!!! These Greico updates are killing me!
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PS Thanks to true bag hunter idfma who offered to save me. At least someone around here is taking the mission statement seriously.
Let’s not dilute the hallowed halls just yet. Db1 hands out his inclusions each year at the same time. Be patient, grasshoppers
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PTA Mom Vanessa smokes. Yuck
Her legs are kinda skinny, but I wouldn’t throw her out of bed for smoking…or would I?
Hey Douchble Helix, go change your tampon. “Hey DB1 look at me, LOOK at me, LOOK AT me, LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Jeez, a four girl with a skinned knee is less needy than you are.
Vin, if in addition to smoking cigarettes she also enjoys schmoking pole, would you forgive the pecadillo?
It’s nothing that a mint or two can’t cure, and besides the last time I checked mine, my penis didn’t have nostrils.
Why the FUCK isn’t everyone putting “YARRRRR” at the end of their posts???
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Yarrrr.
I assume PTA stands for “Pretty Tight Ass”.
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A strong winner…but I cannot fathom how a douche-hole event horizon on the magnitude of Riff-Raff, replete with Bootylicious Walking Daddy Issue Girl, is somehow not marching to the monthly, like some rough beast slouching toward Bethlehem…
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YARRRRRRR!!!!!!
@ Face-Ripper Monkey: While I appreciate you staying true to your handle, I believe Douchble Helix’s outburst is firmly tongue in cheek.
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And by “firm tongue in cheek” I am referring to PTA Mom’s fart box, Medusa, and a hand-held Hi-Def camcorder shaking in a suspiciously rhythmic up-and-down motion.
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yarrrrr….swabbin’ the ol’ poop-deck with me long john silver….Yo Ho Ho and a rocket of cum on a silicone chest…
Yarrr… i would walk her plank.
Yarrr… I would run out of pirate analogies at one.
Face Ripper, Bench Warmer, and Douchble Helix are the same troubled person as Nancy Dreuche and the rest of her. You alll know that right? Probably the same as the one that punctuated everything with….”YOU CUNTS” as well. It’s hard being more than one person.
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YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Yarrrr! PTA Vannessa makes my timber shiver!
Yarrr, I would bury my sword to the hilt in her booty!
Yarrrr, I would teabag her with my rumballs!
Yarrr, I would shave the barnacles off her hull!
Yarrr, I would Davey Jones her fur locker
Yarrrgh, I would pegleg her starfish
Yarrrgh, I would mutiny her bounty
Yarrrgh I would release on her Kraken!
Yarrrgh, I would roger her jolly!
@ rev 10:07
a tired 1 ‘man’ act it is
Yarrrgh!
@Rev,
I assume everyone is Nancy Drouche, including Dude McCrudeshoes. It’s the safest bet. And by safe, I mean best not to poke him/her too much as he/she is batshit insane. I mean delightful.
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Yarrrr
Yarrrgh! I’d put a keel in her jib.
Yaaargh! I’d Nancy her Dreuche.
Yarrrgh! I’d swab her poopdeck.
Yaaargh! I’d flint her cannon.
Yaargh! I’d keelhaul her uterus.
Yaargh! I’d slam ny P-51 Mustang into her crowd.
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Too soon?
^Yarrrr, it cute to see the old guys sticking together.
Yarrgh! I’d Tally-ho her coxswain.
Yaarrgh! I’d Port her starboard.
Yaargh! I’d mast her gangplanks.
Yaargh! I’d Old Man her Sea.
I’d batten her hatches.
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I’d trim her jib.
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I’d Dude her McCrudeshoes.
That tattoo on his pec is looking more and more like a target the more I see it. Or a dartboard. Or whatever involves puncturing the center with a high-velocity projectile of some sort.
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That being said, I would indeed take DarkSock’s suggestion and give PTA Vanessa a tongue-punch in the fart box.
I’d lip slap her giggle button.
I’d finger-wrassle her milk valves.
I’d mouth-hug her lapper.
I guess I should also throw in some pirate stuff, but it looks like Creatch and the Rev got to it already.
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Scallywags.
For I am not DoucheyWallnuts – and I am definitely NOT schlicht bindenburger – the daughter of Dwayne and Alma Wallnuts. No, I’m not. I’m Edward Wallnuts, the recluse brother of my sister Anthea. Edward Wallnuts, who has finally vindicated his sister’s good name. I am Edward Wallnuts. Edward Wallnuts. And I’m not mentally ill, but proud, and lucky, and strong enough to be the woman that was the best part of my manhood. The best part of myself.
Left Hott from Lounge Lizard Larry has some Grand Tetons. I mean Grand!!
Douchie football teams? Could be a name of a commenter…
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http://deadspin.com/5840716/the-25-douchiest-football-schools-in-america/gallery/1?utm_source=Deadspin+Newsletter&utm_campaign=f22458c017-UA-142218-13&utm_medium=email
Tounge Punches to the Fart Box. If that’s what kind of thing goes on at the local PTA, sign me up.
^Tootsie!! Fuck haven’t seen that in a Nancy Dreuche’s age.
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I forgot how much I hate working. The lying and conniving that goes on around here is unbelievable. I can’t stand the people yelling and screaming and shitting on the floor. Romances running amock and ruining morale. Good thing I work alone.
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Aargh!
^Son.
Arrrrgh! I’d plunder her booty
Arrrgh! I’d soil her maiden voyage
Arrrgh! I’d knock her boots
Arrrgh! I’d titty fuck her masthead! (& it wouldn’t look ridiculous DS)
Arrrgh! I’d hump the bilge outta her aft
Arrrgh! I’d split her beam
Arrrgh! I’d gaff her hold
Arrrgh! I’d pillage her cabin
Arrrgh! I’d breach her hull
Arrrgh! I’d patch her brown-eye…
Bo-Son!
Rev, if I wasn’t unavoidably somewhat aware of your personal demons, I would be pissed.
As it is, Douchble Helix ain’t no one else. You oughta keep your yap shut when you don’t know what you’re talking about.
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Buccaneers
^Wow! Just wow. Sorry DH if apologies are in order. But still, you are encouraging a troll.
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Patches
^yup…heed the RUMblings of a man’o’the cloth who sees life through technocolour glasses
corsairs…Yarrrgh!
This particular shot of Vanessa gives her the appearance of being hotter than she actually is I reckon. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. She’s still hott, but with her inherent eating disorders, driven by her rampantly obsessed self-image (or visa-versa) means she’d probably be inane company unless one centred one’s thoughts of waking moment on her – or something…
er… Train wreck above shoulda read:
This particular shot of Vanessa gives her the appearance of being hotter than she actually is, I reckon. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. She’s still hott, but her inherent eating disorders, driven by her rampantly obsessed self-image (or visa-versa) means she’d probably be inane company unless one centred every waking moment on her – or something…
Milk valves…Fur locker…heh heh
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save them for later.
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Yar!
@Dude McCrude 10:30a, I believe we prefer the term batshit loco. And by we, I mean us.
My apologies, Sybil. Please leave the chainsaw in the shed. Your current skin suit makes your ass look rockin’ hot.
^Thanks again DMcC. I know how important a nice looking pear is.
So, props to Douchble Helix for tagging the hot but nothing for tagging Predatorbag? What gives DB1?
Mac, being as this blog is, and should be about all things regarding the aforementioned Douchble Helix, I’m taking the liberty of re-posting my response to your discovery.
To wit: “12:53 am September, 17 Douchble Helix said…
That’s him. Great job! Follow the link, above. Drooppy McScrote is an all-timer. So is his hott.”
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You’ll get your deserved recognition from DB1 sometime after he puts PTA mom Vanessa in the HoH. And by that, I mean “don’t hold your breath”.
[…] • Hot Chicks With Douchebags: PTA mom Vanessa […]
This site has given me so many laughs mocking douchebags and admiring the hotts that so often accompany them. So I am just glad to help the tagging.
Helix, we must all continue the battle against the bags that infect our very existence. Keep fighting the good fight my friend.