Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Ode to Tommy Pak

This is what happens when Mitch and Bobby invite two Bennington Girls to Mitch’s parents house up in Burlington, and then Mitch finds the absynthe.

Either that, or it’s an ode to this guy.

# posted by douchebag1
6:50 am September, 27 ChestBrah said...

Too soon brah, too soon. And I would like to put the homo in this brahs no homo. Chicks are gross!
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No homo

6:59 am September, 27 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

SUPER DOUCHE will save the day…or NOT.

7:02 am September, 27 Me said...

Im using my super mind powers to make that fan fall on his head.

7:08 am September, 27 Jeff said...

There is blood flow to my groinal area! Thank you teal boobies!

7:10 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

He is without question a douche majeure, BUT if he turns his face towards the fan and intones “LUUUUKE…” then he gets downgraded two notches to lesser douche-ocity.
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I don’t like it any more than you people, but the rules are the rules.
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Sister Crushers.

7:37 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

It is doubtful that these dickwaddouchebleeths would have been able to enter the city limits of Burlington without getting shot, and if not they certainly would have been shot shortly after this picture was taken.

7:39 am September, 27 Justin said...

You mirin, brah? You mirin fan, brah?

7:39 am September, 27 Douche Wayne said...

I hope his stupid mohawk gets sucked into the fan and a f*cking bloodbath ensues. He will continue screaming for several minutes until there is not enough blood left for his heart to circulate.
The remaining survivors, still drunk on psuedo-absynthe and crappy weed, will dance in the soaked room to the thrump of techno music, like the opening to the movie “Blade.”
Thousands of hours of therapy later, the giggle-semi-hotts will at least have the chance of getting the mental image out of their minds, but they have years of waking up screaming in the middle of the night to look forward to. All because Melanie said, “Let’s just go; they look harmless enough.”


The sun is up but it’s still dark in here.

7:56 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Tommy P demonstrates the proper form to emulate whilst fisting the lunar-like ass of Plinky’s Mom, which has been likened to boxing a Hefty-Bag full of warm soup, chicken skin and gelatin.

7:56 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom’s so fat he wasn’t born, he was found.

7:57 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat she has to be wiped by a phalanx of naked fat women wearing welder’s masks.

7:58 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her blood type is Helman’s.

7:58 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat the solar system is actually a red blood cell in her ass.

7:59 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her uterus has it’s own rib cage.

7:59 am September, 27 Et Tu Douche? said...

I gotta ask, who’s Plinky?

7:59 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat when her 4th husband went down on her he met the other 3 coming back up.

8:01 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Who’s Plinky? WHO IS PLINKY? I’ll TELL you who PLINKY is…..
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Shit. I forgot. But he gots a fat momma. She’s so fat her menstrual cycle is caused by the Moon hitting her pelvis.

8:02 am September, 27 jonezy said...

as if genocide wasn’t bad enough, this guy has to mimic their statues
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Speaking of genocide, Columbus day is approaching quickly!

8:04 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky was a reg from B.W.P. (Before WordPress) who, to put it mildly, was ubiquitous. He’s the opposite of Baron Von Goolo, who only posts when he has genius to contribute. Plinky threw everything on the wall to see what stuck. And somewhere along the way one of the cruder regs started making fat jokes about his Momma.
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He went away for a year or so, presumably to serve time at county in the greater Cleveland area, then after a few months went away forever.
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But his Momma remained. She’s so dirty she took a bath once and realized she was Caucasian. Bath water looked like Yoo-Hoo. And she drank it.

8:05 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her cholesterol clogs the shower drain.

8:05 am September, 27 Douche Wayne said...

Plinky? Now there’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time. A long time . . .

8:07 am September, 27 jonezy said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat, she takes her insulin injections via turkey baster

8:08 am September, 27 jonezy said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat, her beard only covers her first 3 chins

8:10 am September, 27 jonezy said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat, her farts sink U-boats

8:10 am September, 27 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Pinky’s mom stepped on a Canadian quarter and gave me three US nickels? ..
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Bobby here lost his index and middle finger during Mitch’s effort to gain control of the frozen hot dog that had mysteriously become lodged in his anus.
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The “Not so Hott’s” are .. well, just not so hott

8:12 am September, 27 jonezy said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat, her shit streaks shit shit streaks

8:14 am September, 27 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Plinky’s Mom gave me six wooden nickels, now that’s a trick!

8:15 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

She conceived Plinky when Porkins crashed his T-65 X-Wing Starfighter into her.

8:16 am September, 27 DarkSock said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her vibrator is a road grader.
athrsathr

8:25 am September, 27 Hurl Scheibe said...

COME AT ME FAN!! COME AT ME!! YOU JELLY? BRAH.

8:27 am September, 27 Hurl Scheibe said...

The real reason Porkins crashed – outtakes from the Director’s “Cut”.

Cut, get it?

8:28 am September, 27 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Who is this “Hurl Scheibe” character and why he makes-a no-sensa?
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piss off

8:33 am September, 27 Hurl Scheibe said...

Does anyone remember that Porkins was also Lt. Eckhart in the Batman movie with Keaton and Nicholson?

Jokers.

8:42 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her crabs are the size of lobsters.

8:44 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her meat curtains are used at the stage of the Beacon Theater. Meat curtains, I says…

8:45 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her genital warts are the fourth through fifteenth highest peaks in North America.

8:48 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her hemorrhoid causes solar eclipses.

8:49 am September, 27 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Plinky’s Mom is so fat her prolapsed colon is used to hide nuclear submarines.

9:07 am September, 27 Hurl Scheibe said...

Really, dude?

9:09 am September, 27 Plinky said...

Sup everyone? I’ve missed everyone here, except for Jeff. That guy is a tool. A hard erect tool. Holy shit now I’m erect. Mom? You busy?

9:14 am September, 27 Vin Douchal said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat when they ask her ” Dorito chip, landing strip or Brazilian” she answer’s “Greenland”{

11:54 am September, 27 Douche Wayne said...

@ Hurl Scheibe –

Nice call. We’ll let you keep posting just for your occassional nuggets of wisdom.
BTW, Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
These douches have.


Prince and the New Power Generation

12:32 pm September, 27 Hurl Scheibe said...

Thanks, DW.

And yes. I have. I say that to all my prey.

8:15 pm September, 27 creature said...

Jersey Sore?

8:16 pm September, 27 creature said...

Plinky’s mom is so fat they use her fillopian tubes as a super collider

8:19 pm September, 27 creature said...

Hurl Schiebe is Nancy Dreuche, Jeff, Sheila as well as about 50 other unfunny handles & a demented troll cunt
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sorry, had to be said

9:48 pm September, 27 Steve L. said...

there must be something else in absinthe besides thujone.

7:35 am September, 28 Medusa Oblongata said...

Get that kid with the mohawk a Four Loko, and make it a double. No, a triple. What did they say the lethal dose was?

7:38 am September, 28 Hurl Scheibe said...

Creature –

No. He isn’t.

Sorry. Had to be said.

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