Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Randy Doggiebaggin Pretends to Like Stacy

Sure Randy Doggiebaggin will demonstrate his patented Doggie ‘Baggin’ move on Stacy when cameras are present.

That’s for appearances.

But it’s only during Private Bro Time that Randy can truly get chizzle.

# posted by douchebag1
11:21 am September, 20 hermit android thumbs said...

Stacy smiles the blissfully ignorant smile of the mentally retarded.

11:22 am September, 20 Anonymous said...

She’s into it. Ride that shit out Randy.

11:31 am September, 20 Collaz B. Popped said...

Nice sweat bands….worse sunglasses.

11:44 am September, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Stacy’s dad takes solace in the fact that Stacy can’t get pregnant from a mock fuccing, especially a mock arse fuccing. So in that small way, she is a good girl. Then he goes back to searching the floor of OTB for discarded winners.

11:53 am September, 20 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

15 years from now Stacy will be married, have popped out a couple puppies and gained 30 pounds. She will looked back at this picture as the “good times” which is so sad and pathetic it makes me want to puke.

11:55 am September, 20 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Words shaved into your over developed cranial bone fuzz = AUTODOUCHE!!

Not sure what his day job is, I suspect it’s saying he’s a personal trainer or male model or some such obscure nonsense when really he spends 8 hours a day wandering around Gold’s gladhanding other meathheads with the meathead powergrip occasionally lending a spot. When the time’s get tough and cash is a bit tight, Randy has no problem doing a little gay for pay (whatever he has to tell himself) stunt work in gay porno. Some out of control locker room shenanigans and towel snapping that went a bit too far during his impressionable youth.

11:55 am September, 20 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Stacy makes my mouth water. My tongue aches for the taste of her supple skin. SLURP.
Poor Randy – in the second pic it looks like he’s aggressively inviting his ‘bros’ to gang buttbang him……the flip side of metrosexual douchosity inevitably manifests itself in exercises of humiliation and self-loathing, it seems. Our modern paleontological, anthropological and behavioral research into douchedom continues to bear fruit.

12:10 pm September, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The sweatbands allow him to keep steroid tainted sweat from getting in his eyes without using his hands, which are naturally dirty from flinging poo all day. QED.

12:10 pm September, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

This is the one picture that Stacy will never live down. She’s a poor mining town girl who once had big dreams. Her daddy Shanky ” Shanks ” Shanksville came from a long line of industrialists in West Virginia. Daddy went batshit crazy after her brother Kent ” State ” Shanksville was killed in an horrific act of violence committed by some loner chink with guns a few years back at Tech. Shanks spent seventeen-million dollars on the funeral for Kent, the eldest child cock. The biggest the Smokies had ever seen. He went into an Ambien fueled orgy of hookers and Naval demonstration at the faux-Colisseum he built after he mortgaged the multi-generational homestead and sold Shanksville Cotton Weavers Ltd. Unfortunately for Shanks he forgot that the pool was filled with sharks and lions on mini islands he had built. One lazy Sunday of debauchery led to his extinction after he fell off a Phoenician schooner during exercises and ran Yosemite Sam style across the water to no avail.
.
Stacy is now the matriarch of the family. Addled with her Apple Cider addiction and penchant for chewing peyote, the only way she can make a living for the family is to hang around Cletis’ Bait and Bourbon waiting for the increasingsly lower number of drunken miners to give her $20 for a quick blowie and finger by the pool table.
.
Her younger brother Smoky “Sargent” Shanksville enlisted in the Marines recently to try to save the homestead. He very recently refinanced to pay for his Vermont wedding yesterday to his longtime buddy Corporal Buttmuch and the family lost the old mansion.
.
It’s funny what they say about the mountains now: Don’t sell the cotton mill or let your elder child cock go to V.Tech or your daughter will be giving blowies at Cletis’ and your son won’t have to ask or tell and all will be lost. Son.

12:15 pm September, 20 Ferris said...

I appreciate the homage to j.j. walker by carving “DYNOMITE” into his dome. By the look of it, he’s clearly a connoisseur of fine 80s sit-coms. And of at-home remedies for herpes flare ups.

12:16 pm September, 20 THEONETRUEDOUCHE said...

Stacy is all smiles because her friend was right- You can’t feel anything when he ginrds on you. Its just like that time at camp when they rubbed lady parts.

12:20 pm September, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

He can have her. She’s WAY too good of a sport about being photographed in this manner, with that douche.

12:22 pm September, 20 Chumanominom said...

The ever naive Randy is showing Stacy how his step dad plays “Where’s the damn remote” on nights that mom is playing buzzed bunko with the other soccer mom’s of the suburb.

12:27 pm September, 20 Chumanominom said...

Stacy: “There has to be a better way to take my temperature” ?
Randy: “This is how Uncle Jed always does it”
Stacy: “Is that where your hair went” ?
Randy: “Groooooo” !

12:33 pm September, 20 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

I can’t tell if she’s happy he pulled her face out of that ass in front of her, or if she’s happy he’s about to shove her face into that ass in front of her. Either way, if you’ve got an ass-to-face situation going on you’ve got nothing to be happy about.

12:33 pm September, 20 Vin Douchal said...

The three in the middle of the “Private Bro Time” pic look like siblings but they all look like Butt Brothers

12:33 pm September, 20 Wheezer said...

If we put a stick of “DYNOMITE” in each ear and light the fuses, will they detonate in that vacuum?
.
I’d watch “Mythbusters” if they tried it out.

12:49 pm September, 20 Wedgie said...

She’s smiling because his Dad’s check cleared.

12:59 pm September, 20 UFO Destroyers said...

Hey, we run a well-respected laundro-matt here in Bumfuzzle! Get that stuff out of here before I call your daddies. You know I know them! We’ve had that still for years and I know they didn’t raise you that way.

1:01 pm September, 20 Stephanie said...

It’s a drunken girl pose for the camera. But the worse thing is the bro photo. Uncomfortable about coming out of the closet isn’t so bad,guys.

1:10 pm September, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Never date a girl whose mother’s name is Bruno.

1:23 pm September, 20 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The new urinals at Greedy Glenn’s Ale House are a big hit with the male patrons.

2:03 pm September, 20 Mr. White said...

Present-day Sandra Bullock needs to go back in time and tell Young Sandra Bullock not to do submit to this.
.
And to not marry Jesse James.
.
And to do full frontal in “The Net.”
.
And to not do that stupid movie where she randomly adopts a giant kid off the street and makes him into a football star, or whatever that shit was about.
.
.
.
.
And no, I don’t care if that movie was based on a “true story.” It’s still sappy and dumb, and you know it.

2:36 pm September, 20 im a dude said...

This Second pic… The Fuck?

Just took all of my Why?…. All of it.

4:37 pm September, 20 schlicht bindenburger said...

i wanna asspork sarah palin that way!!!!!

5:23 pm September, 20 SomeGuy said...

Randy got drunk, mistook Stacy for one of his bro-cum-manseed-receptacle buddies, then got confused when he went for the reacharound and couldn’t find her manjunk.

5:49 pm September, 20 soy bomb said...

The Bro-Pic has me questioning if Obama should pass some kind of law prohibiting cameras.

6:09 pm September, 20 Guid is Good said...

In the words of the late sauna lover Zyzz – no homo. No really, no homo at all.

9:26 pm September, 20 creature said...

Sandy Bullock is a douche magnet!

9:28 pm September, 20 creature said...

…so that’s why they call ’em ‘Grips’

12:06 am September, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Once Stacy got a load of private-bro-time, she loaded her shotgun and aimed….

12:06 am September, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Red shirt in Private bro-time ought to be red-shirted.

12:08 am September, 21 Whoop-di-douche said...

Speaker of the devil hisself, Randy Doggiebaggin got randy with Stacy but missed the target right behind his arse on the wall…

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