Thursday, September 29, 2011

Three Fake Boobs

“Oh, how are we going to stop this fiendish tit?”

EDIT: Laurie’s Cantaloupes make national news.

# posted by douchebag1
11:14 am September, 29 tall guy said...

Oh, fuckin’ hell! She’s horrible.
Also, Heather Locklear Spin City era is the ultimate hoot.

11:21 am September, 29 Anonymous said...

Coming this holiday season:

Holy Blue Triangle II

“Nothing grows in the shade”

11:28 am September, 29 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Those bazooka boobz are faker than Kelly Ripa, but I still think she’s a luscious little mynx……SSSSLLLLUUUURRRRPPPP!!!!!!

11:43 am September, 29 Ted Brogan said...

I can see her at the surgeon now:
“Can you make them as stupid looking as possible?”

11:48 am September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

…and then Fergie stuck the helium tube up her ass.

11:50 am September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Those tits blew up faster than the Red Sox.
.
Note: I apologize for predicting the Sox to win the pennant lo those many sultry months ago. Giants for the win in the East.

11:56 am September, 29 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I think the conversation with the Dr. went something like:
Bleeth: Ah, yeah, give me the biggest ones you got
Dr.: But they’ll look so fake and everyone will think you’re a complete whore.
Bleeth: Ah, yeah, that’s the look I’m going for.

12:00 pm September, 29 Hurl Scheibe said...

It looks like she just cut a basketball in half and then super glued the halves to her chest.

Memo to women: The only men that like these sort of tits are the douchbags that graces these pages.

12:01 pm September, 29 Fanny said...

Initially I actually found her to be more offensive than him. But upon further inspection and I do mean inspection. Thank you zoom feature. I think he may be wearing really short shorts. So unless this is Europe, douche. But I’m going to have to go back and give it another look just to make sure. DB1, I’m sorry for all the bad things I’ve ever said about you. You are helping a sister out today. Damn son! Shit I gotta go take care of something.

12:03 pm September, 29 Fanny said...

And did I mention. I always win!

12:10 pm September, 29 Ferris said...

I move to reclassify as “eurobag.” At least he can use her silly cones as floatation devices if the currents start pulling him out to sea, although in a perfect world, he would just drown, taking his stupid mandana and welding glasses with him down to Davy Jones’ locker.

12:15 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits as a racquetball court.

12:16 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits as a simulated valley in in Kanduhar region to train soldiers.

12:16 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

And this is how we find out where Matt Stafford hides his game balls.

12:17 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to store every book in the Library of Congress.

12:17 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits for Supercross.

12:18 pm September, 29 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Yeah! What Hurl said! In fact, you could take your top off and we wouldn’t care one bit! You could jump up and down on a trampoline until your nose was bleeding and your belly was pink and we wouldn’t even notice. You could grab the back of my head and pull me into that cavernous cleavage and give me the polyethaline motor boating of a lifetime and I’d just yawn. Who cares how taught and smooth your tan flesh is, how firm and commanding your dark red nipples are! How your sweat would cut its way in thin rivulets across the equatorial curves of each straining melon. Put one in each of my outstretched hands and command me to squeeze. Nothing. Nadda. zip. In fact, you could even lose your thong and show us what we all know is your bald and bejazzled confetti shooter and we’d probably just start talking about how Boston screwed the pooch again this year. Because that’s just the kinda guys we are. So take your fake melons somewhere else and use them on some other pathetic loser to get your next face full of cucumber juice. We’re not interested..

12:18 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits as a place to store all of Michael Jackson’s (Conrad Murray’s) propofol.
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.
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.
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Too late?

12:21 pm September, 29 Barron von Douchehoven said...

You could use the space between her tits as the luge track for the 2012 Jersey Shore Winter Olympics.

12:24 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits as a training ground for astronauts to learn how to circle heavenly bodies and then set up a base camp between two mountains.

12:24 pm September, 29 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Good Lord, you could see the space between her tits from 30,000 ft.

12:25 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits as an excuse to take a Boy Scout group on an overnight camping trip.

12:27 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to store all the money Wall Street steals form us every day. In singles.

12:29 pm September, 29 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to join the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean

12:31 pm September, 29 Barron von Douchehoven said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to take a snuggly warm nap.

12:33 pm September, 29 Don von Douchehoven said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to host OzzFest (and probably already have).

12:36 pm September, 29 Vin Douchal said...

It is baaallooooon

12:40 pm September, 29 creature said...

those things move away from each other like continental drift!
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…oh, & Fanny, his visor reads ‘Espana’ ya twit…or is it twat…ah both apply…btw, we know who you are…all 16 of you…DC

12:44 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So that’s where Moses put all the water when he split the Red Sea!

12:45 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Good Lord, you could use the space between her tits to put every stadium in the new proposed 12 team (14 team?) SEC.
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And now back to the original meme. Thanks for your patience.

12:53 pm September, 29 SomeGuy said...

Boobs by Pirelli.

12:53 pm September, 29 creature said...

thnx Vin…always thought Hiyacowa were best part of that show… 2nd to Wrangler Jane

12:56 pm September, 29 jonezy said...

the funny thing is, the surgeon gave her the tits for free but charged her $20K for the spinal fusion

12:57 pm September, 29 Fanny said...

@creature, wow. You might consider getting laid or at least jerk off. Anyway, yeah I saw the Espana on the hat, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re in Spain. I have a hat that says Seattle but I don’t live there. So in which part of the aging process do you lose your sense of humor? I know that our sense of smell and taste diminish but usually old people are easier going. Well there goes that theory. And for the record not one of my personalities wants to have sex with you. So you’ve got that going for you.

1:01 pm September, 29 creature said...

surely nobody desires any sort of intercourse with you once you open yer yap

1:18 pm September, 29 Fanny said...

@creature, I’ll assume you’re adressing me and I would your lack of creativity and general boorishness are why my panties are as dry as The Sahara whenever I have to interact with you. So at least we agree that neither wishes to have sex with the other. Praise Jebus, we’ve finally reached a solution. If I would hasten to guess you have trouble maintaing healthy relationships with women. Tell me about your Mother. And your father the alcoholic if your up for it. It’s cool I’ve got time.

1:27 pm September, 29 Stephanie said...

Yes she has two large bags of salt water just under her skin. What’s so sexy about that douches?

1:30 pm September, 29 creature said...

it wears panties???
…perhaps a spinnaker?

1:39 pm September, 29 Colossus of Choads said...

This guy..he’s OK.

1:41 pm September, 29 Anonymous said...

I’ll tell you about creature’s mother. She beat him black and blue with a brush when she caught him masturbating and playing with his poop. At the same time. When he was over 21.

1:46 pm September, 29 Turtle Boy said...

I like turtles

1:47 pm September, 29 Anonymous said...

Fascinating . . .

1:47 pm September, 29 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Creature
.
I found a guy that will fuck Fanny et al.
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http://www.bestgore.com/category/sexual-disaster/
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Son

1:53 pm September, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

How many angels can dance on the heads of her areolae? O-lay!

1:56 pm September, 29 Southern Scrotic said...

To motorboat those boobs, you’d need the Titanic.

2:01 pm September, 29 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I’ll wager 500 Quatloos he ejaculates on, or in between her boobs at least thrice weekly.
.
Providers

2:08 pm September, 29 Mandouchian Candidate said...

I’ll wager 500 Croners that her boobs and her taco live in seperate apartments.

2:09 pm September, 29 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Kroners, Fack!
-
Danes

2:12 pm September, 29 creature said...

post coital, Rev

2:27 pm September, 29 Douchetastic Sam said...

May I offer you some HepC with your Oral Herpes?

3:58 pm September, 29 Wedgie said...

I’ve always liked Spain. Tapas, good soccer, bullfights, bolt-ons, you know.

4:15 pm September, 29 creature said...

senoritas, sangria….Penelope Cruz!

4:45 pm September, 29 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wedgie
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The only question worth asking: Barcelona or Real Madrid?

6:49 am September, 30 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Can you catch listeria from looking at melons?
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Suddenly, I have a fever, muscle aches, nausea, and diarrhea.

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