Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Timmy Hoverbag

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

If you get in the way of a pic of sapphic inspiration, no matter how undouchey you are, you earn an automatic autodouche.

Get out of the way, Timmy. There’s improv taking place.

# posted by douchebag1
9:07 am September, 28 baffomet said...

Is she making out with a pregnant chick????

9:10 am September, 28 troy tempest said...

I think he was “just there” when it happened. He’s at some crowded pool party, and two women in front of him start smooching and he’s like “Well, hot day-um! Chicks neckin’! Nice….”

Is he a douchebag? I dunno, but it would be a better pic without him….

9:14 am September, 28 YA said...

What’s wrong with her stomaaaaaach

9:16 am September, 28 Me said...

Best expression on a Waldouche to date. I give him a pass.

9:21 am September, 28 Me said...

This ain’t improv, that is all scripted. Just like “Reality” TV. Classic “let’s make out for the camera to get attention” move. Mission accomplished ladies, now squirt some ping pong balls outta those vajayjays and I might actually applaud.

9:22 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

Ed looked on in stoic embarrassment as his wife again lost control of her OCD-driven gum-stealing fetish.

9:23 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

…and thusly Cindy Thurman became famous for being the first to successfully administer CPR to a first-trimester fetus.

9:25 am September, 28 Vin Douchal said...

I was there, too, talking to that blonde to the left. Later I gave her a colon exam with Dr. Dickvein

9:35 am September, 28 DarkSock said...

The last time I saw a dude’s face with that expression it was when he walked in on me by surprise in his horse barn.
fgh

9:40 am September, 28 hermit said...

I agree with Troy. I too, would probably stand there with a look of abject stupidity on my face when presented with such a spectacle.
.
However, I wouldn’t be drinking the Bud.
.
In social settings, I prefer chilled goat’s milk.

9:42 am September, 28 kneejerk said...

Lefty has a major case of coke and booze bloat going on.

9:43 am September, 28 hermit said...

Darksock’s mare for H.O.H.

9:51 am September, 28 creature said...

I peed in a toilet once

10:05 am September, 28 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

I believe he’s drinking a Miller Lite and I think he’s picturing both of them in the pit in his basement. “It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again”

10:08 am September, 28 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Bad girl on girl is better than no girl on girl so I’ll take it. What better is there for a probably ok looking girl to do on a hot day at a Vegas pool after a night of tooting up blow and Bleething out than grab some random girl and make out. Hoping in my little wormy porn polluted brain that this leads to some light petting followed by a hurried dash to a private bungalow near the pool for some hard core tongue punching on the giggle button and major league clam bumping. Hope one of them is a squirter too. But I digress and remind you all hoverbag is easily cropped out. He has the dazed look of your average midwestern everyman who treks to the Mecca of the douche universe located in Clark county Nevada we all know and love and sees such a delight laid before him and really cannot be faulted for his small town innocence.

10:11 am September, 28 Hurl Scheibe said...

“I was in the right place, but it must have been the wrong time.”

— Mac Rebennack.

10:12 am September, 28 Me said...

If DarkSock’s mare doesn’t make it into the HOH, I think she should at least make it into the HOH (Hall of Horse).

10:19 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

And with one long, deep exhale, Stephie slowly and gently blew her friend Jeanie’s brains out the back of her head.

10:36 am September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

One time about 20 years ago I was having a party and my coke-dealer roomate had a bunch of strippers come by. One of them was a butch dyke who passed out in a corner after making out with her stunning lover. I didn’t really pay much attention to the shenanigans until I noticed her puke covered shirt dripping onto my crummy furniture. That was passable until I noticed the liquid brown shit oozing out of her pant leg.
.
This butch had become so disgusting that we dare not touch her. Her friends refused to remove her so I went to my pick up and got some thick poly rope. tied it around the chair and tried to drag the cunt out to no avail. She was a porker. Realizing I had enough rope I tied the other end to my dear old 1987 Chev Celebrity Wagon and pulled her out the old-fashioned way. Painfully. She woke up once she bounce down the stairs off the porch and rolled away.

10:40 am September, 28 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Behind lefty’s head we see the omnipresent elbow of Brock Lesnar.

10:43 am September, 28 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@The Reverend^
.
I thought that was Plinky’s Mom’s clitoral hood fat.
.
.
.
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Not that I’ve seen it or anything.

11:00 am September, 28 Douche Wayne said...

Not far away, Timmy’s girlfriend is awaiting her beverage:

Her: “What took you so long?”
Timmy: “Uh, the bar was crowded.”
Her: “Ewww, this is piss-warm!”
Timmy: “Uh, yeah, the bartender just opened a new case.”

11:01 am September, 28 Crazed Aborigine said...

I think Timmy is an accidental hoverbag. He calls no attention to himself and doesn’t interfere with the second tier bleeth tonsilectomy going on in front of him. Pass, goinpeace.

12:27 pm September, 28 Douchetastic Sam said...

Horrendous skank bleethes. Our culture is doomed. Because they will breed…oh yes…they will screw, get knocked up and continue the line foretold in “Idiocracy “. I fear for my children.

3:28 pm September, 28 Wedgie said...

I always wondered what happens to Star-Bellied Sneetches when they grow up.

3:28 pm September, 28 Face Ripper Monkey said...

Does this mean Douchble Helix will tell us he wanks off to horses too? Is he going to make a collage of exciting horse porn? Sorry DarkSock, but DH is a fucktardbag and he shouldn’t be anywhere near horses.

5:15 pm September, 28 Me said...

@Mr. Monkey, I hope so. His collages really tie the site together.

7:49 pm September, 28 Crucial Head said...

Darksock’s Mare for Hall of Hott or I quit.
.
Wait.
.
Shit.
.
.
I will be back mutherfuckers!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!

7:56 pm September, 28 Stephanie said...

Timmy’s never seen that in real time,only on DVD. And I have to admit,I didn’t want to see it either…not sexy,girls.

9:38 am September, 29 DarkSock said...

If you mention “PLINKY” a missing reg will return…IT’S TRUE!

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