Thursday, September 22, 2011

Welcome to the Skin Show, Ladies of the Westchester Garden Club!!

Note to future generations: Giant skull chest tattoos may not be a good life choice. No, not even if they incorporate the nipples into their design leitmotif.

Note to self: Never grip a Corona like you’re milking a deer.

Note to Hot Mom Besties Sophie and Franny: You should probably rethink your divorces and go back home to your kids. They miss you.

# posted by douchebag1
1:43 pm September, 22 jonezy said...

cue skeletor laugh

1:46 pm September, 22 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Milf on the right makes me turgid.
The tatt bros make me want to pull back their skin until the skulls show.

1:49 pm September, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Dude on the left, if he was wearing a turtle neck and sport coat (with extra long sleeves), could sell you a great washer and dryer at Crazy Eddies Appliance Emporium off the Turnpike, exit 6.

1:51 pm September, 22 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Dude on the right has several disemboweled corpses, arranged like they are playing poker, in his crawlspace right now.

1:52 pm September, 22 tall guy said...

Is that a peek-a-tatt on the back of Soapie in yellow on left? Frightening!

2:13 pm September, 22 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Ugly, flat-chested, bottle-blonds with tattooed rib cages get me hotter than a two-peckered goat on a tin roof in July.
.
,Hotter than Satan’s anus.
.
.Hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire.
.
.Wait, what?
.
.Please DB1…anymore of this and we’ll rename the site: Low Rent Soccer Moms with Douchebags.

2:25 pm September, 22 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The right tattoo catastrophe looks more like a very realistic skull with a very unrealistic human head shaped candle on top of it.

2:40 pm September, 22 Paula AskCole said...

Yiiiiikes, these guys creep me out more than Mr. Slim Goodbody did when I was little.

2:46 pm September, 22 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So Boss, what you’re sayin’ is that these wouldn’t make good skins for a drum set and some lamps? Shit, I guess there’s another hobby I have to give up.

2:48 pm September, 22 hermit android thumbs said...

i’ll never complain about hott quality when we’re graced with such words of wisdom as, “Never grip a Corona like you’re milking a deer.”
.
.
B.T.W. I like those low-slung yellow psycho-boobies.

2:49 pm September, 22 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Did anyone see CSI last night? The commercial high-pressure air compressor that lethally separated the external skin from all of the body’s connective tissue? Seems like that technique could be applied to these types of Vegas scrotes and people would actually pay money rather than throwing your ass in jail?

3:32 pm September, 22 Wedgie said...

Speaking only for myself, if we had more Moms in the PTA that looked like these, I’d attend more meetings. And by more, I mean one.

3:34 pm September, 22 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Not all bleached bleeths are created equal. The left bleached bleeth should be reviled or at least ignored. The right bleached bleeth should be banged like a Jamaican Steel Drum.

4:35 pm September, 22 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The sisters Nobgobler are highlighting the new variegated skin moss they developed for koi ponds. The left sample is The Greenish Black Necked Stickitinmyanusus. On the right we find an edible fungus which is only appreciated by the finest connoiseures like Choad The Douche Sprocket who gently scrapes it for use in risotto dishes. It is called Fucleselectricianunemploydes.

4:53 pm September, 22 The Dude said...

I can’t wait to see what Tatt Freak on the right looks like in the year 2031. I bet I’ll look better, and I fully intend to “let myself go”.
.
Saggy Skull

6:08 pm September, 22 troy tempest said...

Tonight they discover crack.

Next week they look like this:

http://tinyurl.com/3skw7ej

6:34 pm September, 22 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

Let me be the first to make a Chandler Bing reference:
.
“Hey, that guy on the left looks like Chandler Bing.”

7:04 pm September, 22 Hurl Scheibe said...

In a few years and thirty plus pounds, I’ll bet you’ll be able to see the uvula of the skull on the right. And that’s as guaranteed as a watery hot stool after a beef and been burrito with habanero salsa.

7:47 pm September, 22 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

If memory serves me correctly, these guys are Preppybag’s financial advisors.

8:09 pm September, 22 Stephanie said...

Wow radical skull designs for people who live in the burbs.
Cutting edge want to be,this is like a mullet of ages ago,business up front,and party in the back,but this is business suit on with skin tatted out. These guys are just creepy though. And they talked each other into this,I’ll bet.

9:14 pm September, 22 Steve L. said...

Sophie and Franny are probably married to douchebags anyway. and the kids are fucked either way.
just saying.

10:19 pm September, 22 creature said...

have to say it…’vulva!’

11:12 pm September, 22 The Dude said...

The BreastChester Garden Club needs to revise their body art code.

1:33 am September, 23 Wheezer said...

Yeah, I think these “bros” were quite popular in their cell blocks.

7:01 am September, 23 FoghornLeghorn said...

A few years ago they were wild. Driving that pink school bus out to Burning Man, with the bikes strapped on top. That was the life.
.
Now they’re living in Naperville, working to keep the mortgage paid and trying to get the kids through school. Things have changed a lot, but, after a few beers, they can still rock the block party.

7:50 am September, 23 jonezy said...

boob droop

8:31 pm September, 23 Whoop-di-douche said...

Chick in the yellow top…I did a doubletake on her, because I swear her pit hair migrated several inches to her halter line. Then I realized she was competing with SkullAbs on the near right, who is sporting one of the finest tatt collections ever seen on a torso. Now I’m curious what the ink artists did for two more feet below the tatted skull jawbone. And I’se thinkin’ The Baron might want him for his Portland Scarehouse come Hallowe’en.

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