Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Whatever Happened to Uncle Richie and Aunt Maureen?


Now you know.

Benders in Reno never have happy endings.

It probably is best that your Dad stopped speaking to them after all.

# posted by douchebag1
2:14 pm September, 6 Southern Scrotic said...

My God that’s gross.
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Bud Light?!? Really?!?

2:15 pm September, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

So her chest tatts mark where she either (1) got her last two Cleveland Steamers from this fucck hole or (2) the only acceptable places left to insert a trach tube when she’s gonna need one later after hanging around with him.
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Tatts of babies and/or little kids are just as scary as tatts and pictures of clowns. In the immotal words of Bart Simpson, “Can’t sleep or clown will eat me.” says it all.

2:23 pm September, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Serious question for our tattoo artists out there: So when these fucck sticks walk into the shop and say “I want this and this and this and this and this and this”, what is the elapsed time between the last “this” and the maxing out of their credit card? 2 or 3 microseconds? There’s a TON of work done on these two and it had to cost a SHITLOAD of money (damn and all I do is spend my disposable income on silly shit like vet bill and ammo) so is it a race, are you literally killing each other, to get to these “clients”? I was just generally wondering what the shop protocol would be in a situation like this.

2:47 pm September, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Yuck. That is all

2:47 pm September, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

All I can think of is “jib shot.”

2:57 pm September, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

By the look of the tat on the front of his neck he may be driving a wrinkled, sagging Cadillac Cimarron. Fucking great cars those, they came with rust and the free smell of desperation.

3:05 pm September, 6 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Happy looking couple. What did they just find out their meth dealers lab blew up?

3:11 pm September, 6 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Bud Lite and tacky tatts* go together like Auntie Mo and a stash of blow.
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.* The Choad thinks all tatts are tacky, but you get his drift.

3:14 pm September, 6 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

….and I’ve tried to parse this photo to figure out where in Vegas it was taken….and the closest I come to is the Motel 6 on Koval Lane.
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.Where late, late in the evening, a $40 blowjob is remarkably easy to come by.
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or so I’ve heard.

3:35 pm September, 6 Steve L. said...

party by day, sleep in an SUV by night.

3:36 pm September, 6 Vin Douchal said...

My recollection about Koval Lane is the bumpy back road the cabbies take to make it appear they are driving some shortcut to turn the fare in your favor. Bullshit? I think not
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A $40 Vegas BJ sounds like a herpes sore on yer cock waiting to happen.
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or so I’ve heard

3:37 pm September, 6 Catholic School Girl said...

Save her and shit.

4:15 pm September, 6 Troy Tempest said...

alpaca and a kitten:

4:15 pm September, 6 Vin Douchal said...

S*******t

4:19 pm September, 6 Troy Tempest said...

If you clump 250 pounds of poo, blast it with Axe body spray, and say FUCK FISHSLAP three times, the stack of poo will turn into these two who will do your every bidding, except smile. Because that would take self awareness, which they don’t have.
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true fact

4:56 pm September, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

I’m just amazed at the realism of those leopard spot tatts on her boobies, I mean, the tatt artist even got the shadows and pinches of the bikini top, SPOT ON. Oh, and that little bow, such a nice added touch. Then, there’s that realistic cesspool depicted on her arm. And that other cesspool with his cigaretted hand over her shoulder. A real ASHWIPE.

5:05 pm September, 6 Catholic School Girl said...

Double stoma hole = she smokes and pokes

5:42 pm September, 6 Mr. White said...

Aunt Maureen is the one who shows up to Thanksgiving dinner when you’re 14 and won’t shut up about how big and handsome you’re getting. You like it, in a way, because you’re 14 and any kind of female attention from an older-but-not-too-old woman is exciting, but you’re also embarrassed, because you’re 14 and female attention is still weird and confusing, especially at a family gathering.
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And eventually she rubs your thigh under the dining room table.
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And this happens regardless of whether she married into the family or you’re actually blood relatives.
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I’ve said too much, haven’t I?

6:00 pm September, 6 Charles Nelson Douchely said...

Which one came to America via the Latvian spouses catalogue?

6:35 pm September, 6 The Dude said...

I did not want this evening to be the moment I learned what a Cleveland Steamer is. No sirree bob.
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Crunchy Yogurt

6:40 pm September, 6 Wedgie said...

Methfest 2011

7:13 pm September, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

@ Vin 4:15
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I still can’t type s*******t here. Fucking weird.

7:16 pm September, 6 Baron Von Goolo said...

Let me try some more:
C*******t. Marxist. Fascist. Che Guevera. Kim Jong Il. Pol Pot. Mao’s Little Red Book. Stalin. ACORN. Obama. Pope Benedict. Jesus. Allah. Zzyzz.
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I’m stumped.

7:25 pm September, 6 Catholic School Girl said...

@Baron, its actually spelled Zyzz. Gah. Oh wait hes dead. Who cares?

8:34 pm September, 6 soy bomb said...

Cadillac tat on his throat chakra. I guess it’s wishful thinking to hope that this is some kind of oracle.

9:05 pm September, 6 Blah said...

Batboy’s father, revealed at last.

11:26 pm September, 6 The Dude said...

These douchebags are killin’ me, Larry. I’m dressing up as a banana, find me some hotts!

11:36 pm September, 6 Stephanie said...

101 Bad Decisions.

11:40 pm September, 6 Stephanie said...

And this is their vacation Christmas card photo.

12:55 am September, 7 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Tatted up and sleeved out Aunt Maureen is one HARD looking woman. She could probably kick the ass of most guys on the FOB where I live. And Uncle Richie has a startling resemblance to the one and only Donkey Douche…illegitimate brothers? Separated at birth? No Phi Beta Kappa Rhodes Scholar we can bet…

4:46 am September, 7 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I think Uncle Richie drives a Cadillac Catera.

5:37 am September, 7 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hmmmm I wonder what she won’t do to get a hold of some Oxycontin???

6:48 am September, 7 Hurl Scheibe said...

Will someone please get a cat in the litter box to bury these two?

7:05 am September, 7 DarkSock said...

I’d totally do her, then as I sneak out the window I’d steal Oxycontin out of her purse.
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That’s what I would do for Oxycontin.

7:52 am September, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Mr. White
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Amy Winehouse was your aunt? I thought you were older than that.

8:03 am September, 7 every which way but douche said...

Boy, Vincent D’Onofrio sure has changed.

8:25 am September, 7 Douche-douche said...

Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket gets a spud-lite and tats

8:44 am September, 7 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

For some reason the worst thing about him is his nipples.

9:21 am September, 7 Chumanominom said...

looks like someone fell in a bath of Iroshizuku Yama-guri Fountain Pen Ink

1:48 pm September, 7 troy tempest said...

And with every breath he takes, several hundred molecules were previously breathed by Jesus thousands of years ago.
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Jesus the Buttmunch from Jericho.

3:25 pm September, 7 douchebagel said...

i think they just stole my soul…. yep its gone

6:54 pm September, 7 Guid is Good said...

That is a malevolent douche. Yes Mr Scary Douche I do like your tatts. And your girlfriend is really pretty too.
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I gotta go….

2:49 am September, 8 douche equis said...

(2nd try) This is the most horrifying picture I’ve seen on the site. Why? Because it makes me realize what I’m going to be forced to look at for the remainder of my life. Aging, tatted douchebags. Oh the humanity!
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and I can’t post the word social*st either.

10:34 am September, 8 Jeet Kune Douche said...

Oh My God.
One look at them makes me think those two like to have group sex with livestock.

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