Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Ask DB1: The Tex/Mex ‘Bag

———–
Dear db1,

I am a longtime lurker of the site (since 2007) and noticed here in Fresno, California a species of douche which I don’t think has yet been covered on the site.

I am not sure how to describe them, but essentially they are a mix of 50% Mexican cowboy style and 50% traditional douche styling.

I unfortunately do not have any photographs but I have no doubt that you could find some. Maybe check in to it.

Sincerely,

Nick

——-

I don’t have any pics of that subspecies, Nick, but good call.

I do, however, have a pick of Sexy Pooch Belly Patricia commingling with Elvis Dingleberry.

# posted by douchebag1
11:27 am October, 12 Et Tu Douche? said...

Fresno, CA? isn’t that were John Largeman hails from? anyway I say “douche” does not discriminate. Now if we’re talking “Mexican cowboy” I would posit that El Guapo, one of my favorite Mexican cowboys ever was NOT a douche.

11:47 am October, 12 Farry Lynnt said...

She will most likely be cleared to suck Douchetastic Sam’s dick. WTG SPBP!

11:50 am October, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Is that a winged tadpole tattoo??
.
Cassandra is a classic Bleeth in that she was probably attractive years before meeting this douche. I wonder if that strangely concave smile is a result of an accidental fistpump to the face? Just one of the many, many occupational hazards of being a Bleeth.

12:01 pm October, 12 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Looks like he’s doing the douchebot in this pic.

12:13 pm October, 12 Farry Lynnt said...

^This site has ruined the robot and Rolling Stones shirts as my go to douche move. Ruined them!

12:32 pm October, 12 Farry Lynnt said...

I think I prefer the SurfN’Turf bag. Heavy on the turf.

12:48 pm October, 12 Hermit said...

My cat ran out of the room when she saw this pic and is now vomiting up blood, Swiss chard, fruit loops and tuna fish behind the sofa
I won’t clean it up, because I’m a degenerate, who is quite comfortable with bacterial fungi growing on the floor of my shower. Last month the fungi started to gain the upper hand on the colony of silverfish who are now in fast retreat.
I consider it an eco-system.
Patricia has the skeletal face of a burn victim who’s tragic disfigurement was made worse via a botched, third-world reconstructive surgery.
.
Save the Children.

1:04 pm October, 12 FlipFriddle said...

Not Mex. That boy is Ukrainian. That’s a tryzub (trident) on his juiced arm-thing. Still a douche, but as one who’s dad is from said country, and a lover of pierogies I must correct the mistake. Them’s are cheap fake mams too; yuck.
“You like Yuri? Yuri show you most awesome BMW and track suit.”

1:12 pm October, 12 Douchble Helix said...

That face comes through her sunglasses. Not good.

1:15 pm October, 12 Vin Douchal said...

She will display some odd tan lines when nude. He will gladly prematurely ejaculate in those shorts when she touches him and get up to fix himself a cheesebra sandwich to go with that yawking sideshave

1:15 pm October, 12 Farry Lynnt said...

^So no HOH on this one my good man? I thought she would’ve at least had you at bikini boobies.

1:17 pm October, 12 Vin Douchal said...

I said sandwich not HoH.

1:17 pm October, 12 Farry Lynnt said...

The above comment is for the honorable Douchble Helix.

1:18 pm October, 12 tall guy said...

She’s what my grandma used to call a plain looking girl. Which means she’s rather ugly. Yuri the Euri (hey, it rhymes) is standard issue Eastern block choad. Probably “studying” how to become a personal trainer or something at a ghastly, whacko you beaut edumacation facility. Upon graduation he’ll go for entry level porn work (fluffer?) and commence importing his extended family on compassionate grounds. Or at least that’s what his cousin is doing out here in Australia.

1:28 pm October, 12 bruinflak said...

Jeterdouche? Jeter adjascent at least?

1:33 pm October, 12 Hermit said...

Elvis’ right bicep is flexing like a ferret’s excited penis at a Barn Dance, while his left arm dangles limp and lifeless, like FDR’s polio-legs. Morticia’s false teeth, overbite and five o’clock underarm stubble nullify her plump, Oktoberfest Apple Boobies and stylish fingernails.

1:40 pm October, 12 jonezy said...

she’s got the face of a Firemarshall Bill with the body of a Vera de Milo

1:41 pm October, 12 Mr. SCrotato Head said...

There’s a lot of continental drift going on with her fake fruit. When’s she’s 43 she’ll have to reverse her bra and give up backpacking.
.
Which will make doggie style both bizzare and freaking awesome.

1:46 pm October, 12 Mr. SCrotato Head said...

@Vin^
.
Curse you! My beloved Pack. And now all I can think about is those gaddawful women shouting “Yeeeeeeeaaaahhhh!” from their tobacco ruined lungs before flipping their tortured foam lids up and barking “Take a look at these, eh! Haha! Oh yeah! You know you wan’ it!” There’s a reason the Packers don’t have cheerleaders.
.
And it isn’t the cold weather.
.

1:58 pm October, 12 flex arm strong said...

Sirs or mamas

she is hot. but why is he in so much pain

1:58 pm October, 12 Wedgie said...

You guys are way too picky. She’s pretty cute, in that third-world sort of way, four kids later.
And I, for one, like his swimming-sperm tatt.

2:01 pm October, 12 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Is Walmart doing breast implants now ?
.
.
.
.
Hey, at least these two found each other. A perfect match.

2:21 pm October, 12 hermit said...

Douchebags in Fresno,
.
.
.
No way.

3:18 pm October, 12 Mr. SCrotato Head said...

@Wedgie^
.
I’m not saying she’s ugly. On the contrary, she is quite attractive. It’s just that her boobs are attracting each other around the sides of her rib cage until, like magnets, they smack togther atop her spine.

3:52 pm October, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Do you serve chimis between your teeth senorbleetha?

4:13 pm October, 12 schlicht bindenburger said...

this is what happens to poo left in the hot sun for several days!

6:14 pm October, 12 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Two boob jobs, two different doctors, two different continents. It truly was the worst of times, during the age of foolishness. – Chaz Dickends, A Tale of Two Boobies.

9:37 pm October, 12 Stephanie said...

If Sgt. Carter had a kid. Pyle you knucklehead!

10:00 pm October, 12 Douchble Helix said...

And that tethering piece connecting the bikini top and bottom? It’s hiding something.
Ask yourself, “Do I want to know what?”

12:46 am October, 13 Whoop-di-douche said...

There is something strange about her mouth.
There is nothing strange about him: He has a jarhead and is packaged like porch beef.
Let the munching begin.

1:24 am October, 13 Steve L. said...

@ Whoop-di-douche 12:46 AM
i think her mouth looks like a leech’s mouth.
if you magnify a leech’s mouth to human proportions/

11:28 am October, 13 Douchble Helix said...

Remember some time back there was a great looking babe with big, dark sunglasses on? And someone, maybe The Baron, posted a photo of what they mightbe hiding?
Well, this girls real life teeth remind me of the hideous eyes in that old pic.
.
Can anyone help me out here? Anyone? Buel…

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