Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Ask DB1: The Wrestler Exemption


—–
DB1,

Does the WWE exemption continue after a wrestler has left the grappling game? If not, Batista couldn’t look more douche-y if he was wearing an Affliction shirt.

— Mog
—–

Here’s the deal with the Wrestler Exemption. It only applies to those performative theatrical wrestlers who douche it up in service of narrative, storyline, or other form of theater.

This is not to excuse the damage they do to their bodies via steroids and such, only to say that we can no more mock the WWE performer for being a douche than we could mock the actor playing Javert in the touring production of Les Miserables.

However, MMA fighters are not performing in any narrative function, and so their doucheyness is fair game. Boxers, same thing.

So let it be written, so let it be done.

# posted by douchebag1
11:14 am October, 26 Steve said...

This picture of him seriously looks like we’re seeing the reflection of a funhouse mirror. Look at the size of his head compared to hers. The size of his arms, forearms and ESPECIALLY his HANDS compared to his legs. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Batista had his right leg removed and had a broomstick in there. Christ, I think my legs are bigger than his. Steroid abuse is bad, kids.

11:14 am October, 26 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Understood boss….but pro wrestlers are some of the nicest guys* in sports. So can’t we forgive them if their douche-i-tude extends beyond their performative years?
.
.
.* Except the Macho Man. He never really appreciated the exquisite perfection of Miss Elizabeth. Douche. Uh, ‘cuse me….dead douche.

11:22 am October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

Jabronis
.

11:24 am October, 26 Woo Hott said...

I think her knee bone is showing. Literally. Gross. Just gross. He’s freaky looking.

11:28 am October, 26 DarkSock said...

Shrek?

11:30 am October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

I had no idea who this goon is. Batista? You mean the home run hitting maniac on the Toronto Blue Jays?
.
Seriously, life’s too short, too busy. You pick what you want to entertain yourself and try not to get to distracted by inane outside influences. If you’re over 10 years old and spending time watching wresting you need a new hobby…..perhaps: searching internet porn …
.

11:48 am October, 26 Wheezer said...

I need smiley blondie there to let go of this meathead and spread her arms. Her boobies appear to quite sizable.
.
That is all.

11:51 am October, 26 Vin Douchal said...

This guy looks like a tuba with a pair of googly eyes and acid reflux

12:08 pm October, 26 UFO Destroyers said...

Styling by The Gator.

12:22 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Guy is like a beast from of Homerian epic. Halloween pics or not DB1, My patience is growing stoned. And that was avery eloquent ode to the massive and those who think they are. What?

12:23 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Anybody smell curry?

12:24 pm October, 26 Wedgie said...

Is that from the set of “Gayboy”?

12:25 pm October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Tim Curry?
.

12:50 pm October, 26 creature said...

Chief Ramabuttcrack scares me

12:53 pm October, 26 FoghornLeghorn said...

“Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet my fiance Batista.”
.
This is a scene out of my nightmares.

1:17 pm October, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Vin @ 11:30. ditto regarding your thoughts on the wrestling. and double-ditto on the porn.

1:27 pm October, 26 Mandouchian Candidate said...

How are grown men entertained by other grown men prancing around fake fighting in Speedos? There is a word for that and it is homosexual. I understand it is a job wherein roided out meatheads can get a big fat check, but the only reason that check clears is because ofall the toothless women and homo’s paying for tickets and ppv. On a lighter note, she looks like she knows how to crawl around on a dirty floor.

cocksmokers

2:03 pm October, 26 jonezy said...

I’ve heard some pretty bad ass stories about the original Olympic games and how wrestling was a several day event until someone died. That seems like it would actually be pretty entertaining. Except for all the nude parts.
.
So, to MC’s point, I think it’s always been pretty homoerotic

7:38 pm October, 26 Steve said...

It’s way more than just homoerotic. I’ll let the Ultimate Warrior himself spill the truth. Probably the only sane thing he’s ever said:

8:14 pm October, 26 Whoop-di-douche said...

I wonder what his tipping point is.

8:21 pm October, 26 Stephanie said...

He looks like a freak,with a large rooster head. I watched wrestling way back in the late 60’s and 70’s and the only prancers at that time were The Iron Sheik & Superstar Billy Graham,but they got their butts kicked a lot…they were mostly crazy people like Baron Von Raschke “The Clawmaster”,Butcher Vachon (the Vachon Borthers really) and Black Jack Lanza.They were just plain weird,scary,and athletic. Ah,those were the days…When they did their one on one “interviews”,they drooled and spit and gashed their foreheads and bled all over like real men.

10:30 pm October, 26 Nostradouchus said...

I see more of my little brother’s t-shirts being stolen in the future…

12:06 am October, 27 tall guy said...

Jesus H. Fucking Christ, the stoopid pedo douche looks old enough to be her fucking father!

2:22 am October, 27 Little Willy said...

Looks like her angry father trying to scare away her date. If she’s even 14 I’m Larry Holmes.

3:56 am October, 27 CB Popped said...

George “The Animal” Steel, Moondogs, etc.

Back when wresting was classy, circa ’76.

Looks like she just got up from her knees,,,,

11:18 am October, 27 Anonymous said...

What about bodybuilders? I’ve seen comments on this site before by members saying they should get a pass, as being bloated and leathery is part of their job. But does this count? In bodybuilding, isn’t the spectacle the point in and of itself? There really is no narrative or theatrical aspects to it.

9:15 pm October, 31 SphincterRanger said...

I’ll contend that Dave Batista; a former IFBB professional bodybuilder and former WWE wrestling entertainer has too much true athletic street cred to be considered douchey. Even bloated; leathery bodybuilders have to work really hard to get to the point they are….I’ll submit for approval; that anyone that has to work THAT hard each and every day; gets a pass on douche-dar. I dont mean Joe-college frat boy bloated on roids and drinking his face off whilst molesting beautiful women on the weekends. I mean real elite athletes who do it for a living. (the workouts; not the molestation)

I’ll also give a little shot about the “pedo-douche” comment…..dude..he’s working. they’re clearly at some show of some kind; he’s posing with a fan for a photo. Not saying he’s not enjoying having those firm breasts pressed against his massive arm; but it’s really more a paycheque than anything. I’d love that paycheque though.

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