Monday, October 3, 2011

Bad Tatts Maru

We’ve seen so many garish douchetatts on shiny, douchey douchebros over the past few months that it’s losing its ability to shock.

Yet in presence of Sultry New Wave Naomi, Bad Tatts Maru, not to be confused with ‘Bag Bats Maru, reminds us, yet again, of just how douchey it is to cover your body with tatts and think it makes you an individual.

Store bought rebellion inscribed upon the skin doesn’t make you interesting, guy. Try speaking. Better yet, don’t.

Mmm…. Naomi. Pure of ivory flesh and taut sucklebottom. I would nibble atop your grandmother’s doilies until the Rugaleh went stale.

# posted by douchebag1
2:39 pm October, 3 Et Tu Douche? said...

‘Bag Bats Maru still makes me chuckle, man I needed a good laugh. as for Sultry New Wave Naomi those are some nice cans, fake but nice.

2:43 pm October, 3 creature said...

I wanna park my flesh chariot in her hills & dales

2:46 pm October, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Lion, the Watch, on the Wierdo, by C. uS. Losers

2:51 pm October, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Think she’s got one of those two-year Mexican marriage licenses ?

2:53 pm October, 3 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When you’re going with the undead skeleton Ninja, nothing says “F*ck you, I roll my own way” more than arming him with a bow instead of a sword.
.
Except maybe a plastic spork.

2:57 pm October, 3 Barron Von Douchehoven said...

Naomi is exhibiting counterfeit yet charming baby feeders, and a seemingly dirty kitchen. Inky Ignoramus Maru has a condition known as “Silly Puddermis”, he can outstretch on foreign currency absorbing the pretty designs. You can only imagine what they claim he can accomplish with a soft dilated foreskin…

3:03 pm October, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

OK, let’s try our favorite S.A.T. game:
.
She is to perkiness as he is to_____________
.
a) an anchovy enema
b) ragged hole in condom
c) epic life fail
d) GHB spiked Goose

3:09 pm October, 3 Barron Von Douchehoven said...

e) — all of the above?

3:09 pm October, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Bad Tatts Maru is to individuality as Naomi is__________
.
a) a theoretical particle physicist
b) future Nobel prize winner in Economics
c) a winner of the Fields Medal
d) president of the local chess club

3:14 pm October, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

This is sheer fuccen poetry:
.
“Store bought rebellion inscribed upon the skin doesn’t make you interesting, guy. Try speaking. Better yet, don’t.”
.
Poetry not unlike teeny tiny strings holding wee bits of cloth covering perky, taut racks, regardless of silicone applications.

3:19 pm October, 3 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

Wait.
.
Can’t quite make it all out, and I had to use zoom, but doesn’t it say “…A DICK” across his collarbones?
.
And have we named someone Scribbles? WTF does Scribbles look like if this guy is not Scribbles?

3:23 pm October, 3 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Those tits would fit me like a flesh tuxedo…
.
…..I wanna sink them with my pink torpedo.
.
.
.Nigel’s Tufnels

3:49 pm October, 3 Stephanie said...

He will be easily spotted by all women who know him as an idiot,now. Think of it in terms of “oh,that guy with the stupid left orange shoulder” ,easy to identify by anyone. Not worth getting your panties in a bunch when he does something wrong he’s so easy to find,it’s like he wearing a bright red light. Here I am,cops. Things can backfire,stupid,all in the name of rebellion!

4:01 pm October, 3 Bigphatnotadouche said...

Nice pointy tatas on the Hott. She is wearing pink for breast cancer awareness.
God bless her.

4:07 pm October, 3 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

If you think Bad Tatts Maru is bad then don’t click this link!!!
.

.
I warned you. They never listen…

4:32 pm October, 3 Wedgie said...

I always like girls named Naomi. Mostly because it sounds a lot like “nail me”.

4:58 pm October, 3 Wheezer said...

@Franklin (3:19 p.m.) –
.
I was thinking it said “Dumbfuck.”But these fuccen kids and their fancy fonts, anyway – why can’t they use Arial or Verdana or something?
.
Hell, even Comic Sans. Yes, I can see that on a doucheputz like this. “The chicks would think it’s cute, aight?”

5:09 pm October, 3 Señorita Loca said...

I bet he’s a Yankees fan tambien. Aye chimichanga! My Spanish blood is boiling!

5:32 pm October, 3 Bret Easton Douchis said...

@ Wheezer
.
No fuccen Comic Sans.
.
Comic Sans is the fonts of mouth breathing morons, who think it denotes “fun”.
.
Wait…then again….

5:33 pm October, 3 Bret Easton Douchis said...

BTW, this photo is testament to the fact there is no God.

5:55 pm October, 3 Señorita Loca said...

@Bret Easton Douchis, No Dio? Ay Chalupa! Then who do I praise everytime yo tengo un orgasmo? Speedy Gonzalez? Geraldo? Juan Valdez-o? Ayudame por favor!

6:48 pm October, 3 troy tempest said...

I think she needs to wear larger sunglasses.

8:38 pm October, 3 evilpimp said...

I wonder how the faggot that is writing these reviews looks.

9:12 pm October, 3 Vin Douchal said...

Is this douche ?
.
.

9:43 pm October, 3 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

@vin 9:12

It most certainly is. That’s not what you’re supposed to stick in a hott’s face.

3:46 am October, 4 tall guy said...

@ evilpimp, ‘how he looks’? You fucking inbred cocksmoker. Go root your fat retarded mother, simpleton.

4:50 am October, 4 DoucheyWallnuts said...

To follow up on the boss’s perfect poetic observation,
“Store bought rebellion inscribed upon the skin doesn’t make you interesting, guy. Try speaking. Better yet, don’t.” I would say that these STDs with pulses all start to look alike and you think you’ve seen them here before.

5:21 am October, 4 Anonymous said...

@ evilpimp, DB1 is built like a god, with an intellect to match–haven’t you seen the picture he posts in the FAQ? Besides, what difference does it make how he looks, when the comparison is a tattooed crypt-keeper who deserves every ounce of mock poured upon him?
.
Why, you want some too?

6:25 am October, 4 Hurl Scheibe said...

Dr. Bunsen, they do never listen and I am going to replace my contact lens wash with clorox so that I may never again click on such obscene material.

But man, it was worth it to watch Fat Albert spit out his bling towards the end.

6:29 am October, 4 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Vin
.
It was probably just funny up until the part where he pointed at her sprawled on the floor and sneared “I pwn’d you Bee’ach.” and then kicked her repeatedly in the stomach until she threw up and then passed out. At which point his buddy kept the camera rolling while they filmed a 30-minute “sleep f*ck” tape and posted it to porn.hub and made zero bank.
.
But up until then it was pretty funny and definitely not douchey.

7:36 am October, 4 Medusa Oblongata said...

Hey, guy in the picture. My dining room called. It wants its wallpaper back.

9:17 am October, 4 Barron Von Douchehoven said...

I’d bet she mop handled him a prolapsed pooper the very next time he fell asleep..

1:20 pm October, 4 Cmak said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rugelach …sounds yummy

4:44 pm October, 4 Boner Police said...

Awww yeah, I got another one. Sir, you have the right to remain erect. I’m gonna have to take you down. As in downtown. As in big trouble in my little vagina. What I’m trying to say is we here at the BPD have a tight little unit. I know because I just frisked myself.

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