Friday, October 14, 2011

Doe Eyed Kelly and Old Moog Go for a Drive


Old Moog says “Groooooo.”

But only because he read it somewhere.

# posted by douchebag1
9:42 am October, 14 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

Something’s rotten in Scottsdale.

9:48 am October, 14 Hurl Scheibe said...

There’s something about Kelly that says manufactured with pride in Stepford, CT.

9:49 am October, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Sadly, I fear this picture was snapped immediately prior to Sloth from The Goonies receiving some pretty good road head.

Rocky…. Road?

10:04 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

There’s something about Kelly that says Old Moog didn’t understand Kelli’s Facebook profile about how she likes guys that are in touch with their feminine side. Homo.

10:06 am October, 14 SomeGuy said...

Kelly shouldn’t be dating her math tutor, and the only reason to be wearing those shades is if the car doesn’t have a windshield. At least he took the time to put a shirt on to cover up the sweat-stained wifebeater.

10:14 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Excuse me Mr.Moog can I get out now, I was expecting a guy with a penis in blue gingham.

10:15 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

In a hurry to rape Kelly, Old Moog forgot to take the penis off his head while shaving.

10:30 am October, 14 tall guy said...

There’s something really shifty looking about Old Moog.

10:37 am October, 14 wonderdouche twin said...

I think Kelly isn’t real, but rather a Real Doll.
.
http://www.realdoll.com

10:46 am October, 14 Ponderonymous said...

I’ve been with the site since its inception, and there haven’t been many times when I have felt the need to say this out loud, but WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?!

That’s right, I caps locked that bitch.

10:46 am October, 14 Hurl Scheibe said...

Has anybody here seen Kelly?
K-E-double-L-Y?
Has anbody here seen Kelly?
Find out why she smiles!
She likes her douches through and through
Especially Moogs that mumble Groooo
Has anybody here seen Kelly?
Kelly with the Big Doe Eyes!!

10:48 am October, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Did Kelly find those eyebrows on the floor of his car?

10:51 am October, 14 Hurl Scheibe said...

^ Nah, Old Moog’s just showing off his new Ms. Potato Head.

10:55 am October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

He bent over to tie his shoe as the landscaper rolled by with the edger. Would have prefered a shot to his jugular, but ya take what ya get

11:08 am October, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Maybe it’s Realdoll’s Babysitter 2k(r) model? But the funky eyebrows make her look like she’s in a constant state of irony.

11:11 am October, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

My bowl of beans and hard boiled eggs is more interesting than these shit stains.

11:13 am October, 14 Colossus of Choads said...

whats up with that guy’s head?
thats not a real head is it?

11:17 am October, 14 schlicht bindenburger said...

yul brynners grandson….son! i’d poorape kel anyday,cuz im sick that way! BAAAAAASTAAAADS!

11:40 am October, 14 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Kelly resembles what it would probably look like if Megan Fox was medicated with the proper cocktail of mood stabilizers, atypical antipsychotics, SNRIs/SSRIs and mixed amphetamine salts just to give her a bit of focus. Though relatively functional and somewhat aware as a human being through modern pharmacology and medicinal chemistry they have yet to come up with a medication that inhibits poor decison making in the mate selection process, despite the wide spectrum of substances that promote such behavior. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt and believe she is not a total Bleeth, that really she’s a nice down to earth kind of girl, whom the charms and allure of the modern bag are wasted upon her, that she has more emotional depth than a puddle of snake piss. I want to think that moog/slothbag is possibly just a friend, relative or gay male shopping companion (those windshields he’s wearing are atleast bi-curious). I want to believe we live in a world where all hot girls are not hopelessly addicted to assholes and drawn to the spawn of Grieco like junkies to the neetle. But alas I live in a pleasant fiction and the reality of the age we live in, in this foul year of our lord 2011 is ever so salient in what ponderonymous said above… WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?? A quote that has resonated throughout the ages by baghunters of every generation.

11:46 am October, 14 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Chuck Norris could kill these two and nobody would say shit, particularly Douchey Wallnuts while consuming his favorite fruit, eggs.
.
Mrs. Wallnuts must enjoy the warm scent of a sulphuric Dutch Oven.

12:03 pm October, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The cranial landing strip would make more sense if he had a vagina surgically added to his forehead.

12:05 pm October, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

I think that’s whats-his-name. Help me out here, Wheeze. The guy who always looks pissed off all the time, at the party wearing a suit jacket or something. WTF was his name, i can’t think of it….

12:17 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

@ Medusa
.
Do you mean “Assface MacRipfart”?

12:18 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

“Shaveballs Nick-Scrape”?

12:19 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

“Shine Mecocck” ?

12:23 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

Benson, From “The Regular Show”?
.

12:28 pm October, 14 Vin Douchal said...

The Widduh Hen’s kid, Little Egghead – all growed up?
.

12:29 pm October, 14 hermit said...

When a hott’s eyebrows look like punctuation marks she is probably a mannequin. ~ ~

12:30 pm October, 14 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Mrs Wallnuts’ olfactory sensory system was burned out almost 2 decades ago, making her immune to my charms. And by “charms” I mean my horror ass.

12:37 pm October, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

The Boss is on one today, what with the eye-brow theme. We may indeed be blessed with a new pic of Waxy McBrow in all his pull-over sweatered glory.
.
Or shame. Take your pick.

12:40 pm October, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Remember those videos floating around a few years back, where you’d be watching this serene, calming scene, maybe a car driving down a tree-lined country road, or a couple walking through a field of golden wheat. And you’d be thinking, “Oh, how nice, how relaxing, how comforting” and then Kelly’s head pops up from Old Moog’s lap and smiles at you with a little sticky on her lips and you fall back screaming and wetting yourself.
.
Yeah, I hate those videos too.

12:47 pm October, 14 General Hairpiece said...

Mmm, those pouty bee stung lips, that pink gingham shirt, those Cher shades, that Grace Jones haircut. I don’t know what you guys are talking about, she is fetching. Oh. It’s a dude. Nevermind then.

1:03 pm October, 14 Stephanie said...

Do these douches have mirrors? Holy shit,what an ugly round head.

1:24 pm October, 14 UFO Destroyers said...

@ Medusa
You mean this guy? The Mummy and 24 are where I’ve seen him before.

1:46 pm October, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

@Dude McCrudeshoes^
.
Kind of a like a “Human Cuntipede”?

2:09 pm October, 14 Tony Ventresca said...

second post @9:48 for the win (I was going to say Real Doll, but Stepford is better)

2:12 pm October, 14 Douchetastic Sam said...

She could suck my dick. Her eyebrows could suck my dick.

2:22 pm October, 14 Wheezer said...

I think Medusa means our dear bro…..
.
.
.
.
.
…..”Nub.”
.
It is exactly who I first thought of as well.

2:47 pm October, 14 Steve L. said...

Old Moog / Nub can read? that’s news to me.

2:51 pm October, 14 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Medusa and Wheezer FTW. Nice memory recall capacities. Though every once in a while it must cause you to wake in the middle of the night in a puddle of your own sweat screaming “Grooo! Groooo! Grooooooooooo!” and fist pumping your signifiant other in the taint.

2:57 pm October, 14 General Hairpiece said...

I think her eyebrows are called Sharpie Brown.

4:50 pm October, 14 MC 900 Foot Douchebag said...

10:37 am
October, 14
wonderdouche twin said…
I think Kelly isn’t real, but rather a Real Doll.
.
http://www.realdoll.com
.
.
Glad I scanned to make sure I didn’t use the same mock. Goddamn job keeps me from being FIRST!!! Or pretty much from even getting over here… :’-(

4:54 pm October, 14 Buzz Cauldron said...

@MC 900 Foot Douchebag, what do you do again? Horticulture? Import/Export? After all these years I never thought to ask.

5:19 pm October, 14 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Wheezer: YES!!!!! I’m sitting here like, “It’s some kind of reference to the little dollop on top of his head. Nipplehead? Ploppy? Poo Kiss? God damnit, what the fuck was that asshole’s name?!?!” And then in anger, I kicked my three-headed hellhound, Peanut Oblongata, right in the cunt and she bit me with her right head. That’s the one that has rabies.
.
@Scrotato–Mr. Biscotti has a well-dented taint, even after being back on US soil for only 6 months. He has to go back to Venice and wash his taint in the healing waters of the canals every so often. He still asks, “Dis ‘Groooo’, wot dis is? I dun unnerstan why you-a always yell dis in the night.” I can only show him the photos and hope that someday, somehow, he’ll understand the curse of the ‘baghunter.

5:32 pm October, 14 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Mr. Scrotato
Proto-human anyway. And if he had a vag-head, his mouth could double as an anus.

4:22 pm October, 15 Douchble Helix said...

Wheezer. Is. God.
.
You’ve got a gift.

10:12 pm October, 15 Nostradouchus said...

I didn’t know Jabba the Hut went metro…

1:28 am October, 16 Randall said...

Another almost life like Real Doll.

7:49 am October, 16 Wheezer said...

Medusa suggested: “Nipplehead? Ploppy? Poo Kiss?
.
All are valid alternative names.

7:50 am October, 16 Wheezer said...

“”…..and fist pumping your signifiant other in the taint.
.
My cockk has a taint? What’ll they think of next?

4:04 pm October, 17 evilclint said...

The perfect accessory for Dickhead’s outfit? An ass-boot. Mine, would suffice…..a size 15EEE, right up the dark alley!! I somehow can’t see there being a problem fitting it in.

4:04 pm May, 8 yablowza said...

I like turtles…

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