Friday, October 14, 2011
Friday Haiku
The blouse parted wide,
To display gorgeous bronzed breasts;
Hers aren’t bad either…
Kettlehead returns
With Waxy McBrow’s Rachelle
Time to kill myself.
— Mr. Scrotato Head
El Rico Suavé,
Blouse-busting hero for the
juiced up pendehoes.
— The Dude
Now there’s quite a shelf!
Their protrusion defies all.
I mean physics laws.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Youngest of the clan,
Kunty Kardashian is
Video ready.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
“Why are you grabbing
me,” says Kate. “And since when do
Valets wear D-necks?”
— Sergeant Scrote Stain
El Rico Suavé,
Blouse-busting hero for the
juiced up pendehoes.
Now there’s quite a shelf!
Their protrusion defies all.
I mean physics laws.
He wears sunglasses
at night so he’d max his douche
And Corey Heart weeps
And the blood test says,
“You are a douchebag who needs
A new shirt and liver.”
Kettlehead returns
With Waxy McBrow’s Rachelle
Time to kill myself
Redshirt the Awesome
Performs his first illusion of
The night. Floating nipples.
Orange traffic cone
direct self in to sewage
and leave hots behind
Little Lupe likes the
Anal. This explains the case
Of Hep, ABC.
Chestical pumpkin
carved from grease and grey goose
shove candle in ass
Youngest of the clan,
Kunty Kardashian is
Video ready.
“Why are you grabbing
me,” says Kate. “And since when do
Valets wear D-necks?”
Doctors appointment
diagnosis, visual
internet herpes
What do yous mean I
Should have to button up my shirt?
Fuck this place, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooo!
Oh, my beautiful moobs
Better than your girly boobs
My Bras love my moobs
No pair of hip shades
Can restrain his one eyebrow
In presense of boobs
Bad edit –
Oh, beautiful moobs
Better than your girly boobs
My Bras love my moobs
Single arched brow like
a checkmark in the ‘no’ box
for ‘Meaning in Life?’
Night Stalker Returns
Admittedly upped his game
I’d Ramirez that.
Lee Chin Fung say,
Bazongas on chesty Latina
Meet my chest shave reveal…
Kettlehead displays
“pensive face.” Surprisingly
close to his “shit-faced.”
Sent from the future
to kill Ed Hardy before
Douche-ment Day occurs.
dark nightclub brightened
by mayan eye of coitus
kettle’s brow arches
battle of the bulge
latina special forces
cruz missiles deployed
Sunglasses inside?
Oh Kettle-Man are you sure?
“Yes I bloody Khan”
SGT SS…where the hell you been the last 18 months???
Primeval display,
nets gorilla wild club skanks,
but shames all primates.
At Club 51
Wear your sunglasses inside
Won’t hide your doucheness
Moobs clutche the boobettes
Boobettes smile for camera
Then run for banyo
The Terminator,
Sexy Sperminator, and
A Germinator
@ Chris in Baghdad.
.
I’ve been around brother. I troll the site pretty often still, but I find that my creative juices have wilted (not to say that I was ever creative to begin with). I mean, what else is there to say about the douche? I read the comments of the regs, and they’re still quite entertaining, but I find myself lacking anything truly witty, or especially biting, to say.
.
I still mock the douche. And I still praise the boobies. And I am especially active in real life mocking, because nothing is more enjoyable than mocking a Tool right to his face without him ever realizing it. But as for internet mockage, I am afraid that I’m mostly retired. Mostly.
.
Who knows? It only takes one especially infuriating picture to rope me back in, as would be the same for the most of us.
.
What I am saying, is that there’s been a surplus of generic douche. I need “Mack the Nozzle” version 2.Douche.
Kettlehead thinks you…
Did I say “Kettlehead thinks”?
Must be the boobies
Retard neck transplant
Leg reduction surgery
Douchebag Frankenstein
Kettlehead is found
in Area 51.
Start autopsy now.
Sergeant Scrote Stain lives
And all is right with the world
Well, maybe not “all”
In a dark dance club
Kettlehead rocks the glasses
Chest glow lights the way
Kettlehead gets it
Closed shirt, no shades, no M.O.
Douche is as Douche does
Kettlehead reaches
new high on I.Q. test. Bar
set low for the rest.
Is his face stuck that
way ’cause of Bell’s palsy? Pluck
that eyebrow to check.
Button up that shirt
And remember boss’s words
Cars won’t park themselves
One of Life’s Lessons:
Silicone should be displayed;
‘Roids should be hidden.
Forget Kettlehead
Rachelle’s gold globes beckon
Raise my rod, not brow
I never saw the
new “Apes” movie, but now, I
see its relevance.
Jimmy Smits Rock Bottom
TV show ” LA Awful”
Good ratings with bleeths
Press ’em on me girls.
I want my buddies to think
that I’m a straight guy.
A contender for the weekly
for he don’t go meekly
bleeth under each arm
seacow in shiny blue on standby
living da vida puca
Outstanding perky boobies, fake or not re bleeth on left! Yuuuummy!
Rachelle is no bleeth
She is double scoops of joy
With father issues
Liss Victoria
is hunting guys who don’t tip.
that’s you, Kettlehead.
I don’t believe it
We nuked him from orbit, but
Kettlehead won’t die
I have seen the Kettlehead in action in Deerfield Beach a couple of times. He’s a tiny little douche.