Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday Haiku
“How for show, Yankee???
Two een steenk, I sheet my pants;
Feef-teen rubles, pleeze…”
Blondie tribute band
Cannot sing the song ‘Rapture’
Creates depression.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Wiktor and Ivan
Hustlers with nothing to sell
Except their sisters
— saulgoode42
don’t move hair from eyes
you’ll see your arms are around
duckface a l’orange
— Douche Springsteen
Vodka, abortions
Despair, depression, Roofies
Russian Douchebags Rule!
— DoucheyWallnuts
Hey, Amërïkä
Comrade Krüschëv’s words ring true:
“We will bury you!”
— Hermit
Blondie holds on tight
Ivan and Boris are set
Roofies break girls’ will
— THEONETRUEDOUCHE
When Nadja downs her
Fifty-eighth vodka and pukes
Levity breaks out.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Everybody’s lips
Were still a little tender
After the bro-job
Blondie tribute band
Cannot sing the song ‘Rapture’
Creates depression.
Wiktor and Ivan
Hustlers with nothing to sell
Except their sisters
Zoolander’s douche face,
“Cheetah,” is punchtastic. I
like Hansel’s boobs, though.
douchebag from Mypos
Cousin Larry evicts me
now I live in club
I always wondered
what Boris Karloff’s kids would
look like. Double yuk.
don’t move hair from eyes
you’ll see your arms are around
duckface a l’oragne
a l’orange^
.
fuccen caffeine ain’t kicked in yet
Let me guess: Open
casting call for “The Adams
Family Douchebag”?
“Hey, for two rubles
I’ll let you smell my fingers”.
No, but thanks, Igor.
Why the stinkface, schmuck?
‘How you say, I do a two?”
Yeah – Now flush yourself!
Bela Lubroski,
has eyes like Cookie Monster,
Muppets in clubland.
Welcome to Schmengi’s
I am Sten. ” One, two, three, four,
Cabbage Rolls and Poo.”
I have no make-up
Dark circles, pasty white skin
Nosferatudouche
Girls night at hockey school.
Vlad hasn’t shit in three weeks.
“Woman, Smell finger.”
Vodka, abortions
Dispair, depression, Roofies
Russian Douchebags Rule!
Hey, Amërïkä
Comrade Krüschëv’s words ring true:
“We will bury you!”
Blondie holds on tight
Ivan and Boris are set
Ruffies break girls’ will
Vlad’s first son. Rootin’
Tootin’ Shootin’ Putin knows
It’s not the cabbage.
Smell from my fingers
Twist my face into a sneer
Olga needs to douche
When Nadja downs her
Fifty-eighth vodka and pukes
Levity breaks out.
Russian Sly Stallone
Fueled by Vodka and Cabbage
Will kick your Ass-ski
Prep for abortions
Drink Vodka until woozy
Then it’s scraping time!
Ramius: “Two pingjs
On my shignal.” Radio Dude:
“Talk right or fuck off.”
Two. yesh, two bottlesh
Of Cryshtal. Fuck off with bad
Ramius you mutant!
Rolph Lundgren always
Hated his brothers’ success.
Me in Rocky 3-D?
Sly Stallone’s cousin
Stares into depths of my soul
Butt-chin distracting
Nadya? Five Rubles.
She have potato butt plug!
She make sexy, no?
He may have the eye
Of the tiger but its nulled
By the lips of douche
Douche Bros Inquire
How much for the leetle girls?
Frank Stallone Junior
greasy russkie dorks
profane the sweet devotchka
my tongue cleans her skin
Duckface and spray tan,
Blond tranny on the night prowl,
Putin would be proud.
Eastern Promises
of rape and heroin sounds
sexy when you’re drunk.