Monday, October 10, 2011

HCwDB of the Week: The Herpster and Librarian Laura

In an absolutely tough week to pick our winning (losing) coupling of hottie/douchey shoescrape, in the end, I had to go with the innovative and historically significant greasepumpery with luscious gigglehottery rubbing up on his stupidness.

For the Herpster has Tuxedo Crotch. Factor in stupid garish disgrace of a chest tatt and ironic bearded gaze, and the power of the mock is overwhelming in its needed response.

Librarian Laura may have a touch of the Herpster ironobaggery herself. But that booty be slammin’, as the kids say. And for that, we have a winner (loser).

Last week was so chock full of choice hott/douche, the winner could’ve easily gone to Bad Tatts Maru and New Wave Naomi or the early favorite, the Moocow Brothers and Amanda and Tonya, followed by Marty Moocow teaching Amanda to Flex

Damn, last week had a lot of inchoate douchepeak.

There was also The Artful Doucher and the Pillowfight Triplets, or the tasty if inflated bleeth gnaw of Woo Girl Kim.

Heck, Scrotudinous could’ve won last week’s contest, and this HCwDB slag is a mere fourth or fifth.

Tough week to pick a winner.

But for inspiring a whole new subcategory of douchal innovation, the Herpster and Laura make it the monthly. While Good Guy Ron, on the left, gets a nottadouche and a way to go for snagging Modern Dancer Marie.

Chalk ’em for next week’s Monthly. And your humble narrator for Corn Pops.

# posted by douchebag1
7:14 am October, 10 troy tempest said...

I think what makes this image interesting is not the herpster and his bleethy companion, but their promixity to Jimmy Wingman and his lovely girlfriend Rackelle Sucklthei,

Douchie fuckwit gets narcissistic kink bitch in fake glasses and all of her attendant daddy issues.
Normal guy gets sweet faced chick with an AWESOME rack of boobage and her preference to Swallow.

This photo has winners and losers in it, side by side. This proves the spectacular nature of the douche virus – it’s based in the notion of self as spectacle, trying to break the gordian knot of Nash’s equilibrium theory, and failing in a major way. Results? a catastrophe for humanity.

8:16 am October, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Troy Tempest – I think it was a catastrophe that Scotudinous didn’t win…as he was the only ‘bag that inspired homicidal thoughts in me, i.e., murder = a win for humanity.
.
.otherwise your logic is impeccable.

8:25 am October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Troy has kindled my interest in economics to the extent that I have switched my bathroom readers from Angler and Hunter to Advanced Econometrics. I have also taken a liking to this girl for whom I would skip the blonde and avoid cock-blocking as per Nash amd his knots.
.

8:51 am October, 10 Steve said...

Wait. There’s a second girl in this pic?

9:13 am October, 10 jonezy said...

i can’t recall if DB1 has shown them off in these halls, but DO NOT view any videos by the latest boyband heart2heart. It is excruciating- I do not have the heart to link it here and that was in no way a play on words. It is repulsive.

9:28 am October, 10 Barron Von Douchehoven said...

Just puked in my shoe .. spot on Troy, spot on!

9:45 am October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Quite possibly the Herpster is actually a brain injury patient and his siblings are trying to keep his spirits high by dragging him around when they go out. They’ve tatted his chest and groin catastrophically and are playing dress up with his choice of swimsuit.<br.
.
Of course , Herpster is a hit with most poolside ‘roid muscle heads as the only thing he can utter is “geerrrrrrsppphh” as drool pours off of his lower lip and this sounds very much like “Groo”.
.
He is considered a riveting conversationalist at Vegas party day pools

9:57 am October, 10 wonderdouche twin said...

Ron is sporting a crotch reveal, so he is pushing his luck. Would be hard to believe Ron doesn’t have some sort of garish tattoo on himself. Even Bob in his blue OP shorts is sporting his radiology tattoo in the background.

9:58 am October, 10 Laura said...

Yes! I knew those fake glasses would land me some real douche.

10:05 am October, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I’ve decided Librarian Laura pisses me off. Not so much that I wouldn’t gladly strand myself on a deserted island and spend my remaining days chiseling a 50 foot high granite statue of her using only bamboo tools and some duct tape.
.
The problem with Laura is that not only can she pull off Buddy Holly glasses without detracting from her hotness. She knows she can pull it off, and she knows that you know she can pull it off.

12:23 pm October, 10 FoghornLeghorn said...

I’d still let Librarian Laura rub her backdoor against me. I’m just saying.

10:42 pm October, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

You gotta admire a douchebag who wears not only a tuxedo speedo, but della robbia tatts. Hey, mebbe it’s his version of Italian menswear. He’s even got the putti (cupids) to go with it.
Recommendation: Dump him in a three-tier Italian town center fountain and throw counterfeit coins at him.

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