Thursday, October 20, 2011

Herpsterpocalypse

Brought to you by plaid pants, rare-ass clear cup, and Heineken!

Heineken.

The beer of Herpsers the world over!

# posted by douchebag1
2:17 pm October, 20 Douche Springsteen said...

As a hard-working taxpayer, I don’t think the unemployment line should be a party.

2:29 pm October, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I have lost respect for the 99% after seeing this picture.

2:30 pm October, 20 Claude Douchenbagger said...

I love it when the bikini bottoms match the eyewear

2:35 pm October, 20 Ameriga Vesdouchey said...

McIdiot and his fauxbrarian strike again! And this time they brought friends!

3:03 pm October, 20 Vin Douchal said...

See? This is why I don’t go on theme park water rides. Whatever shit is stuck all over them could wash off and get on me. Blecchh
.
On the bright side, it’s obvious they are jobless so they aren’t:
.
– Spitting in my food at Applebee’s
– Putting the wrong oil in my car
– Bagging the eggs and bread under the watermelon
– Day care-ing my boy
– Hacking off my sprinklers with their power edger
– Stealing my credit card info at Amazon.com
– Installing shoddy windows
– etc

3:03 pm October, 20 Wedgie said...

I love it more when the bikini bottoms are missing.

3:05 pm October, 20 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Someone call in an air strike!
.
Please?

3:28 pm October, 20 Hermit said...

Barbie has officialy gone Bleeth.
Mattel® Toys also announced today that the new Ken Doll will come complete with vanereal warts and lip rings.
.
.
.
Eat your children before the cultural collapse does it for you.

3:34 pm October, 20 DoucheyWallnuts said...

I much fear the glasses look is getting to the “played out” stage. This makes me sad….

4:47 pm October, 20 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

What the fuck is wrong with dudes? Are they jealous of bras? Pec tattoos fuck off.

5:22 pm October, 20 Ameriga Vesdouchey said...

@DoucheyWallnuts, then my plan is going as planned. And soon chest tatt bras will follow suit. Once one of these dudes dorky Dads going through a midlife crisis gets one it will be all over. At least you can take off glasses pretty easily. Tatts, not so much.
.
@Hermit, Barbie was always a Bleeth. She dates a man with no genitals who drives a sports car and whose hair is always perfect.

7:17 pm October, 20 Mr. White said...

I applaud Miranda’s commitment to the fake glasses, but she’s probably going to be pissed when I superglue them to her face. I’m not buying her four appletinis so I can have sex with a non-librarian hott.

8:15 pm October, 20 tall guy said...

My first thought (well, my first thought after thinking I’d probably nail blondie) was the glasses. Fucking douches and bleeths! Everything has to be done super size, extreme, large & garish. I’ve always thought glasses can be a real highlight to any face providing the size, style & colour of the frames is appropriate to the wearer. Especially as I wear glasses myself. But no, to be a person among persons is not good enough for douches’n’bleeths. What’s the problem with these idiots!

8:23 pm October, 20 Doucheywallnuts said...

Ass and dick tattoos are next.

8:32 pm October, 20 Steve L. said...

this is so gonna turn into a gang rape.
oh i’m sorry. this IS a gang rape caught on camera.

9:03 pm October, 20 Nostradouchus said...

I see a dead-end sales job and perpetual drunk, lonely Christmases in the future.

9:27 pm October, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

Tattoos are not for kids, and it sickens me that people are trying to make it this way. They’re not for kids, they’re for grownups, and this Barbie has the worst possible example of tattoos there is: The neck tattoo. Not to mention, everyone who sees shit like this thinks the tattoos that are screen-printed on the neck of a smooth, plastic doll will look the same when carved onto the blubbery, pimply neck of a sunburned human being. Stop making my job hard, you sleaze merchants, and lest us take it back behind closed doors where the wee ones can’t see. And her little pet there? Bastardino? Unless you’re a total tool, you can make that one out. That’s real Italian for “little bastard”, Nice. I’m going to take Hermit’s advice one step further. I’m going to have Mr. B. give me a good fisting, and tear out my uterus. He’ll toss it to our three-headed hellhound, Peanut Oblongata, who will surely gobble it up. No seed shall ever creep in there to bring forth life to which Madison Avenue can then market. And bullshit that doll won’t be in toy stores, I’ve seen the Bob Mackie Barbies in with the pedestrian Barbies, Mattell is full of pink plastic shit.

9:28 pm October, 20 Medusa Oblongata said...

*let us. Sorry, the bleeding is making me dizzy.

9:59 pm October, 20 DarkSock said...

Mrs. ‘Sock has a dog named Peanut. He’s a fat fuck. He’d eat a uterus tossed his way; he’d eat an ashtray full of Marlboro butts if you dropped it on the floor. Medical FACT.

10:44 pm October, 20 Whoop-di-douche said...

I wuz always wonderin’ why herpes sores were called “Little Heinies.” Now I know.

11:22 pm October, 20 Stephanie said...

The beauty is,this pose would take maybe one bullet and it would shoot through all of their heads. Less lead for the environment.See,I care about the green earth. And none of these people are hard working 99 per centers.

12:35 am October, 21 SphincterRanger said...

Umm…yeah; Barbie has no visible tatts. She needs to take off her glasses and get into my bed. the douchecanoes with her however? how sad. I cant wait to bitch-slap each and every one of them.

4:34 am October, 21 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Next from Mattel; Anal Sex Barbie, STD Barbie, Pierced Nipples and Clitoris Barbie and Pregnant and On Government Assistance Barbie.

4:57 am October, 21 CB Popped said...

This site is a sociological microcosm depicting the downfall of Western civilization.

With terminology such as “Douchal Purity” (courtesy of Medusa) and “Societal Loss” (sorry, can’t recall the author)
you cannot help but gain valuable knowledge as the bag hunters fight the good fight.

I cannot bring myself to check out Bleethy Barbie,,,I just can’t.

6:37 am October, 21 Hurl Scheibe said...

It’ll be all over for the human race save the mop up when Mattel announces Anatomically Correct Ken with Prince Albert.

9:10 am October, 21 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

With my luck, this would have been the day I took my kids to the water park and had to explain to my 7 year old what a douchebag is. Way too young for exposure to the virus.

9:52 am October, 21 Army of Douche-ness said...

what i fundamentally dont understand about the melding of subculture’s today is that in my mind, dudes that want to look like this shouldnt crave weekend pool parties, they should be like lifting weights then band pracrtice, then going to see some other band play…

10:56 am October, 21 FoghornLeghorn said...

It looks like the girl’s backpack is full of sex toys. That should help occupy the retired boy band she’s hanging out with.

11:56 am October, 21 Hurl Scheibe said...

McCllelan is the old gaelic for road apples.

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