Tuesday, October 25, 2011

It’s a Hard Knock Life for DJ


Ever think about what it’s like to be a celebrity D.J?

One minute you’re cranking up the iTunes pre-set playlist and pretending to do things with record players on a stage over thousands of sweaty state-school giggle hotties with limited vocabulary and sweaty poochle thighs.

The next, you’re selling your sphincter for crack beads and vending machine hot pockets outside a boarded up Woolworths off Interstate 5 and hoping there’s a sale on Cup O’ Soup at the local Big Lots.

And the painted ponies go up and down…

# posted by douchebag1
6:51 am October, 25 Wedgie said...

Three threes don’t make a nine. Mathematicians.

7:02 am October, 25 Et Tu Douche? said...

Nothing to see here, move along.

7:05 am October, 25 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Another fucker stealing my Halloween costume. Are we still doing that DB1? Huh? Huh? Fuccing DJ’s.

7:11 am October, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

That one in the front reminds me of a Gloucester Canary.

8:03 am October, 25 fatness said...

So little time, so many daddy issues.

8:16 am October, 25 DarkSock said...

From “Disc Jockey” to “Dick Jockey”, selling sphinc to dirty old men at truck stops tooling for anus.
.
It has been this way since the days of the Pilgrims.

8:17 am October, 25 DarkSock said...

^@ Medusa: That looks like Whoopi Goldberg’s cooch.
weqer

8:18 am October, 25 creature said...

do they also get to play ping pong with big ol saggy tatas?

8:20 am October, 25 creature said...

the head trauma unit always gets the skankiest nurses

8:23 am October, 25 Anonymous said...

Middle hott looks okay. Hall of Okay anyone?

8:27 am October, 25 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

“selling your sphincter for crack beads and vending machine hot pockets” Isn’t that the title of Andy Dick’s new autobiography ?

8:29 am October, 25 Anonymous said...

Lefty ain’t that bad either. Until she starts talking.

8:33 am October, 25 Anonymous said...

Righty looks like she would be a real hellcat in the sack. Grrrrrr…animal prints.

8:33 am October, 25 Vin Douchal said...

NIce one, Db1. Take no prisoners where those no-talent hacks are involved.

8:33 am October, 25 jonezy said...

as anyone in Cali knows, it is simply “the 5” – I would think you’d know this by now, DB1- I’ll assume it’s just for brevity for the non left coast masses.
.
I had quite a few misunderstanding about this when I moved from west to east, as I would not say “interstate” when referencing highways. Everything was a “freeway” as far as I knew.- which everyone was confused about.
.
Unless things have changed, I think Cali still just calls it the 405, the 5, the 10 to the 57, whether or not they are interstatial or even free anymore for that matter.

8:34 am October, 25 jonezy said...

and knowing is half the battle, kids

8:40 am October, 25 Woo Hott said...

I love it when he presses a button and my favorite song comes on. He deserves a BJ for that type of mad skills. I think I may even swallow. I have trouble turning on my car radio and this guy is like Bam. The latest hit from Maroon 5?, no problem. Yayyyyyyy! I mean, Wooooooo!

8:42 am October, 25 Hurl Scheibe said...

WE’RE THE MEATMEN AND YOU SUCK!!

TOOLING FOR ANUS.

9:08 am October, 25 Wedgie said...

Recalculating the row:
+3 -9 +3 +3 = 0
Thus, on a net basis, he is of no harm. As long as he always travels with this pack.
Math is fun.

11:48 am October, 25 Smegma Sardoucheio said...

Note the bandana is a sweaty refolded fat chick thong wafting the aroma of week old tuna fish and vagisil.
He wears it proudly as the douchdana bagboy that he is.
This cretin is a sad fucking case of smegma slathered
DB ishness.

6:09 pm October, 25 Stephanie said...

Now he wears the mandana over his eyes and sucks whatever is shoved through a hole in the wall.

10:26 pm October, 25 Nostradouchus said...

Kris Humphries’ little brother snuck into Kim’s bachelorette party. It was too much to handle…

7:13 am October, 26 Medusa Oblongata said...

@ Darksock—*shudder*

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