Monday, October 17, 2011

Marty Moocow and Frisky Marissa Voted in the HCwDB of the Month

Still smarting after losing the HCwDB of the Week, and by smarting I mean stupiding, Marty Moocow and Frisky Marissa decided to be good sports, and by good sports I mean garish blights on a collapsing culture, and stop by to vote in the HCwDB of the Month.

And if you think that’s a run-on sentence, try reading McSweeneys sometime.

Or better yet, don’t.

However I’m pleased to see a tattoo of noted mathematician and influential computer theorist Alan Turing on Marty Moocow’s forearm. Respek.

# posted by douchebag1
12:31 pm October, 17 Wheezer said...

Is that Al Capone on his bicep?

12:43 pm October, 17 Stephanie said...

I think that’s John Gotti on his arm,his hero…or someone he met in prison.

1:00 pm October, 17 FoghornLeghorn said...

I’m not sure if anyone mentioned this to them, but those are the two ugliest T-shirts ever made.

1:24 pm October, 17 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’d send Marty to go milk the cows, and I would milk Frisky Marissa.
.
Except that Marty will frighten the cows and take indecent liberties with them. Hell, he frightens and confuses me. Milk production would fall, I’d have to sell the herd, and put Marissa to work on a random street corner…

1:26 pm October, 17 idfma said...

Does Marty ever take a picture where the mark of the bag doesn’t show up like a 100-watt bulb on his forehead?

1:35 pm October, 17 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Correctly identified MOTB.
.
Huzza

1:41 pm October, 17 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Marty gets a tattoo of every uncle whose dick he has sucked. There are two more on his back, and an aunt with an unusually large clitoris on his ass.

2:00 pm October, 17 Vin Douchal said...

Somewhere, a museum curator is lamenting his missing Neanderthal exhibit

2:06 pm October, 17 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Love the dollar sign tatt on the hand. I guarantee this tool doesn’t have more than $50 in the bank. His meager bouncer’s paycheck pissed away on garish t-shirts and red bull and vodka. How did Moocow not win the weekly ? I demand a recount.

2:29 pm October, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

When he laughs he goes “A hur! A hur! A hur!”. When she laughs it’s one long, constant “A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a!” Together its the sound of penguins playing tag with Orca tonsils.

2:30 pm October, 17 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

He has a tattoo of Rosie O’Donnell around his meat funnel.

3:00 pm October, 17 ass said...

i’d laugh in that stupid bitch’s pierced up face. hey moron, it’s not 1996, you know, when you were like 5 and dreaming of a future with the fat tattoo’ed homo you’re with in the picture?

4:40 pm October, 17 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

I think the forearm tatt is of Paul Newman posing as a shaven Abraham Lincoln who bears a striking resemblance to Herve Villechaize after his “Fantasy Island” days while impersonating Mr. White and NOT Alan Turing. Either that or its the guy who lives across the hall from him in Apt 4C who always asks him to check to see if the pilot light in his fridge in on.

8:46 pm October, 17 Medusa Oblongata said...

That is Al Capone. And John Gotti. And a bunch of hundred dollar bills. Because it’s not idolizing syphillitic murderers and FBI snitches, it’s bragging that you’re a Made Guy. Even though you’re just a barely legal, ham-faced, drunken Irish fuck who couldn’t run numbers up a flight of stairs without getting lost.

9:25 pm October, 17 Stephanie said...

It’s almost like those shirts melt into one another like a douchebag car wreck. Let’s see, should I try to win the extra 5 million in this race,or should I die in a fiery crash in front of my family. (I don’t have enough money already)

10:43 pm October, 17 Steve L. said...

i wonder why toxic tattoos and heinous Hardy shirts are underrepresented in this monthly.
.
actually, i know why already.

3:20 am October, 18 Dick said...

He looks like a retard on steroids. She has emotional disturbance issues hanging around said sub par specimen of pure unadulterated idiocy.

9:37 am October, 18 mills said...

so he has a tattoo of al capone a tattoo of john gotti and a fistful of bank notes above a dollar sign and the word “greed”… well gotta hand it to him those make for more original douchebag tattoos then the usual tribal tat or cross that most douches have.

12:38 pm October, 18 Douche Springsteen said...

First off, no matter how shitty my day is going I can read the name “Marty Moocow” and instantly have a smile on my face. Second, Marty should have his own category in the 2011 Douchies for Special Achievement In The Field Of Not Being Able To Discern Where The Overpriced ADHD Screeprinted Shirt Ends And The Shitty Tattoos Begin.

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