Monday, October 10, 2011

Sandy Continues to Choose Poorly

Speaking of Hott Sandy, seen previously with classic HCwDB uberlegend, The Crustacean, here she is posing with her bestie, Kelly, and Standard Douchpuck, Johnny Dumguy.

Making the exact same head tilt for the pic.

Note to ladies: I know you’ve worked on the perfect camera angle for months in the bathroom mirror, but when all your Facebook pics look exactly the same, your hottness is mitigated by a crepy Xeroxian mimetic echo of reproductive unoriginality. Thus, your essence is lost. And Walter Benjamin is not amused.

# posted by douchebag1
1:26 pm October, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Kelly > Sandy

1:28 pm October, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Those chicks be having banging arched back cum on their tramp stamp bodies, yo! That shiz is tight on the crunkometer.
.
Purple Jesuses (Jesii?)

1:32 pm October, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Nice to see Frankie Muniz is still relevant.

1:33 pm October, 10 Laura said...

I bet she did that same pose for her driver’s license. But she was wearing a different gray dress at least.

1:40 pm October, 10 Vin Douchal said...

Under the archway in the back, John Largeman pulls the pin out of the grenade …..

1:40 pm October, 10 UFO Destroyers said...

Ashlee Simpson’s old nose and the shattered corpse of Zac Efron meet up with Angie Jolie at “Bring your midget night” at the club while ghost nipples search for fresh brains.
.
.
.
.
.
No offense to all the “Little People–Big World” followers or ghost nipple believers.

1:41 pm October, 10 tall guy said...

Can’t stand anyone who feels it either relevant or necessary to carry around a fucking bottle of water. Jesus H. Fucking Christ, find a tap and drink from that. I’m guessing you aren’t located in a desert devoid of such amenities.
I’d probably nail her though.

1:59 pm October, 10 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Sandy looking not as hot in this pic, but bestie Kelly pickin up the slack. This club / party looks f’ing lame. Bottles of water ? Where’s the booze ?

2:10 pm October, 10 Et Tu Douche? said...

This pud has no right to be wearing a Rolling Stones T-Shirt, he probably has no idea who Keef or for that matter Charlie Watts, is.
.
I agree wholeheartedly with the Rev’s assessment.

2:14 pm October, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Hott Sandy has a chin that you can open a Hi-C metal juice container with. I’m not sayin’ that she ain’t attractive but, dang that thing is pointy!

2:15 pm October, 10 Mandouchian Candidate said...

How did we become such a society of people who feel the need to pose for every shitty picture any one takes anywhere?
+
I think John Largeman might live in Johnny Dumguy’s eyebrows, along with Mrs. Largeman and all the little largemans…

2:35 pm October, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

I wasn’t going to be too harsh on him until I realized how much he reminded me of Scott Baio. Fuck you in the ear, Chachi, your band sucks. As for you, ladies, you’d be more hott if you spent a little more time on being interesting instead of practicing perfectly unnatural and oddly contorted poses in front of the mirror.

2:53 pm October, 10 old dousche said...

Oh yeah, Kelly IS a beastie. …er, bestie.

Either way, she’s ready.

Whew, damn a fucking Monday anyway.

2:55 pm October, 10 creature said...

not a pose, but, muscle memory from all the airtight frat parties she’s hosted….just a lil’ more comfortable to take the 3rd torpedo when she tilts her head to the right

2:56 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

It’s amazing how when Sandy is photographed from a slightly different angle, thus throwing off her practiced pose, her face is putrid. This kind of DimeADozenBleeth is a pox on the humanity and the club scene, but I’d still fuc her.

3:01 pm October, 10 DoucheyWallnuts said...

This is so good…
.

3:03 pm October, 10 Stephanie said...

It doesn’t look like anyone’s going home and having sex here. They just want to pose all of the time. Tsk tsk…it’s kind of sad,but not really.

3:29 pm October, 10 hermit said...

“……your hottness is mitigated by a crepy (sic) Xeroxian mimetic echo of reproductive unoriginality.”
.
True ‘dat D.B.
.
(personally I’d still hit it, Xeroxian® or not, but still.)

3:31 pm October, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Yes, the standard arched back, protruding buttocks, kissy lips, slightly flirtatious/bemused, head-tilt pose are about as original as an American Idol playlist, but no one ever said those who get their kicks from hanging out at night and day-clubs are the brightest bulbs in the box…they’re simply seeking to assert themselves in the only environment that bestows upon them any attention — said attention being difficult to come by on the loading dock or as an “assistant sales rep” at whatever chain retailer is paying them two bucks over minimum wage.
.
.I’ll leave the economic analysis of this phenomenon to @Rev Chad — he being the closest thing this site has to a Nobel Laureate in the field of Keynesian macreconomics as applied to the douche/hott dialectic and its influence on the respective market shares of top-shelf vodkas.
.
.For me, the poses say: “f*ck me” or “don’t you wish you could f*ck me?” because “f*cking me” is the only card they have to play…a card that will become overplayed and dog-eared all too soon.
.
.Oh yes it will Kelly and Sandy…oh yes it will. Now come over a sit on the Old Choad’s lap while he explains these deep thoughts to you.

3:44 pm October, 10 schlicht bindenburger said...

I cant wait for that slow poke collapse to get here already! Fuuuuucckk! The vacuous stare has to have an end, right?

4:07 pm October, 10 Wedgie said...

Her bestie is hotter, and looks like she’s had at least one meal in the past week. Can’t say the same for pointy chin. Double yukkity.

4:10 pm October, 10 Wheezer said...

If Sandy leaned her head like that against my shoulder and softly muttered, “Take me to bed,” I—–ummmmm, well now I have a boner.

4:11 pm October, 10 Wheezer said...

Addendum: The above^ scenario would also apply to Kelly.

4:13 pm October, 10 Wheezer said...

And yes, I still have a boner.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Should I change my name to “Captain Obvious”? It’s been taken? Arrrrrgh…..

4:27 pm October, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

^ And you’re late for “talk like a pirate day” too.

5:24 pm October, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Ultra young Frankie Valli covers up barely legal Victoria Justice’s cleavage with a green rag. For that alone, I loathe him with the white hot intensity of a thousand dying stars. By that I mean supernovas, not a thousand nearly late Dennis Hoppers.

5:37 pm October, 10 Laura said...

@Stephanie, how do you know that? Im thinking its gonna be a Neopalitan Sex Sandwich with Johnny being the fruity Strawberry center. Mmmm. Mmmm.

8:08 pm October, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

“.For me, the poses say: “f*ck me” or “don’t you wish you could f*ck me?” because “f*cking me” is the only card they have to play…a card that will become overplayed and dog-eared all too soon.”
.
Comment of the decade ^

9:04 pm October, 10 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Nice to know Kelly’s airbags are working.

9:19 pm October, 10 DarkSock said...

Those girls pose so hard their turds are curled.

10:46 pm October, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Those girls pose so hard they keep a chiropractor on retainer.

11:19 pm October, 10 Stephanie said...

They’re just too busy trying so hard to be perfect…they’re boring,they’re a vacuum sucking the life of out the room.
Look at them,they don’t get all icky and sloppy,and sweaty. Laura you can lick Johnny all you want..good luck.

2:13 am October, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Walter Benjamin, DB1?
Thank God for Wikipedia.

4:53 am October, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucking fatty gravy. My arse just had a population of diarrhea that was Malthusian in scope and stink.

5:31 am October, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Happy Day After Thanksgiving, Rev!!!
.And thanks for sharing!!!

6:41 am October, 11 DarkSock said...

Those girls pose so hard their they used hinged tampons.

7:15 am October, 11 Douchble Helix said...

Dr. BHD FTW:
.
“Hott Sandy has a chin that you can open a Hi-C metal juice container with. I’m not sayin’ that she ain’t attractive but, dang that thing is pointy!”
.
Amazing use of an every day household product as a visual aid.

7:28 am October, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

Those girls pose so hard that Johnny’s Gerbil popped out a day early.

7:29 am October, 11 Hurl Scheibe said...

Sandy’s chin makes me thirst for a can of Schlitz, circa 1965.

7:49 am October, 11 Medusa Oblongata said...

I really wish the comments thread had a “like’ button.
.
Too soon?

12:09 pm October, 11 Wheezer said...

I say Choad the Douche Sprocket earned himself the coveted Comment of the Week®.

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 6 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)