Tuesday, October 25, 2011

“Taint that a Douchebag”

Well there’s a douchebag, in a bathroom
Listenin’ to a hip-hop station,
He’s got a greasy hair, greasy smile
He says, “Lord my crabs itch, from masturbation”…

‘Cause they told me, when I was younger
Said, “Boy you’re gonna be a D.J.”
But just like everything else, those old crazy dreams
dropped like my pants…

Oh, but taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag, somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, home of the free, yeah
Little pink thong butts for you and me
Oh built baby for you and me

And there’s a hot chick, with bad judgment,
What do she know know know,
She hates her daddy, and her mommy,
Goes to work in some night club,
And vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico… ooo yeah

And there’s dumb tatts, and there’s hat tilt
But they ain’t no big deal
‘Cause the simple douche, baby, can’t pay the thrills
The bills, the pills that cure chylamidia…

Oh, but taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag, somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, home of the pee, yeah
Little pink thongbutts for you and me, ooo
Ooo yeah

Taint that a douchebag, for you and me
Taint that a douchebag,hey with somethin’ to see baby
Taint that a douchebag, oh, the home of the free, ooo yeah yeah yeah
Little pink thong butts made for you and me
Ooo yeah, ooo yeah!….

# posted by douchebag1
5:35 pm October, 25 Wedgie said...

Mellencamp is on the phone with his lawyer right now.
And that girl needs to get outside more.

5:35 pm October, 25 Wedgie said...

Second.

5:42 pm October, 25 creature said...

Boss you missed your calling…by about 70 yrs…tin pan alley written all over that ditty…bravo DB1!

5:45 pm October, 25 creature said...

& unclad booby!

6:02 pm October, 25 hermit said...

Technically, this may be child porn.

6:13 pm October, 25 Stephanie said...

He must be locking her up inside the house,in a small closet, and then lets her out for photos and hot pockets. Why else would an underage girl be there?

6:45 pm October, 25 Elwood BluezBag said...

Pear.

6:52 pm October, 25 ehcuodouche said...

but thank you for the sideboob, underboob, everything-but-the-nip-boob

6:58 pm October, 25 numbskull72 said...

Classic, DB1. Bravo!!!!!!!

8:07 pm October, 25 UFO Destroyers said...

Since she wasn’t using at the time, it was really nice to let him borrow her belt.
.
And his hat spells it all out for us in case you didn’t know.

9:44 pm October, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

Poorly typed legal threat letter in 3….2….

9:46 pm October, 25 Medusa Oblongata said...

Regular camera, not a cameraphone. And the dicksprain still can’t figure out the timer function so they don’t have to do the bathroom mirror pic. I don’t weep for the future, I kick it in the Adam’s apple.

9:58 pm October, 25 Woo Hott said...

Mmmm…Hot Pockets.

10:20 pm October, 25 Nostradouchus said...

I see more dumpster diving at the trailer park in this ‘bag’s future…

11:52 pm October, 25 Whoop-di-douche said...

Seeing all that song text just reminded me that John Mayer had throat surgery.

12:21 am October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Pasty as it may be, it’s still sideboob. And I’ll take my sideboob anyway I can get it.

12:26 am October, 26 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Well…
.
MOST anyway I can get it.

5:07 am October, 26 Dixie Recht said...

Enlarge the photo and notice the label on his hat says “Asshole” as if to acknowledge his lot in life.

As for her, she’s cute.

However, working long days at the local convenience store before moonlighting at the topless joint around the corner from the truck stop will cause those looks to fade by the time she’s 21.

It’s the choices we make in life!

5:52 am October, 26 CB Popped said...

She looks very healthy, despite the milky skin tone.
Hysterical parody DB1.
Everyone needs little pink thing butts (pears) now and then.

6:13 am October, 26 Hurl Scheibe said...

Jackoff and Diane

6:38 am October, 26 Hong Kong Douchey said...

She’s a cutie. I”m hoping she wises up to this mook before repeated poor life choices are made.

6:40 am October, 26 Mr. White said...

I thought she had a vestigal tail at first, but then I realized it was just a trail of toothpaste/hair gel/zit juice smeared on the bathroom mirror. Note to asshats: If you insist on doing the bathroom mirror pic (please don’t), at least invest a couple of bucks in some fuccen WIndex.

8:12 am October, 26 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

!. Outstanding job Boss! Bra-fuccen-vo sir.
.
2. I’m surprised no one has reworded the classical Willie Nelson tune “Momma Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Douchebags”.
.
3. What’s wrong with a milky/alabaster skin tone? If it works for Christina Hendricks, then it works for me. Then again, I LOVE the redheads.
.
4. This pic reminds me of the idiots who signed over the daughter to Ted Nugent. Yeah, that was a good idea. Worked just fine. “We have no qualms about letting our daughter be a 16-year-old sex slave to a fuccen lunatic. We’re not bad people, right?”
.
5. Can’t this bathroom be equipped with some feature from one of those Saw movies where he has to dismember himself in order to keep his hat or something?
.
Just lots of random thoughts/observations.

10:09 am October, 26 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Author! Author!

11:12 am October, 26 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Beautiful lyrics DB1. And if it wasn’t for the gay white studded belt and 45 degree hat tilt, I’d be inclined to give this bagling a pass. Getting your adventurous, barely legal girl to pose topless for pics to share with your buddies (and when I say buddies, I mean everyone on the internet) garners some points in my book.

2:55 pm October, 26 morty said...

they guy is completely a homosexual. no straight man would wear those fashion jeans and fashion hat. im sure his bitch would say things like “aaawww don’t hate, you a hatar.” she’s retarded.

3:43 pm October, 26 Guid is Good said...

Nice, the Hott matches the bathroom decor. It’s the little details that matter people.

9:07 pm October, 26 Elwood BluezBag said...

Nice hiney. I wanna wear it as a hat. Or a nose warmer.

7:31 pm October, 27 Willie said...

I’d like to stick my wiener in that creamy white, tight little ass of hers while she begs for more.

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