Thursday, October 6, 2011

The Artful Doucher

The purity of premium boobie hottie suckle thigh offered by the Pillowfight Triplets is powerful enough to corrode and corrupt rust belts and arteries.

That is all.

Oh, and The Artful Doucher needs this t-shirt, truth-in-advertising style.

# posted by douchebag1
11:24 am October, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Douche smash!!!

11:25 am October, 6 creature said...

like me some lemon tart
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….no, not a request for your specialty mr. white

11:26 am October, 6 Capt. James T. Douche said...

He has the biggest tits of the bunch.

11:36 am October, 6 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Got Juice?? What man juice for the extra protein? Is that a tattoo of John Gotti or Rush Limbaugh on his forearm??

11:38 am October, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Encino Man II: The Douching

11:47 am October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

Check out the tits on the one on the right. Damn. And damn it DB1 you are proving to be quite the boner block today. How can I do my job under these conditions. I am forced to rely on my powers of deduction. Juiced out roidbag doesn’t only have bosoms, he’s also packin teensy testicles and a shriveled up rod. This investigation was over before it began. It’s 5 I clock somewhere. And I’m off duty now.

11:49 am October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

Um…Boner Patrol out. (A sign off is key.)

11:50 am October, 6 Vin Douchal said...

Hey wait, his arm tatt says ” Wiesenthal” . Does he get a pass for being a fan of the great Nazi Hunter ?

12:08 pm October, 6 Wheezer said...

The only thing I can read is “Weasel” on his arm. The other arm likely says “Cockk.” Wow, truth in advertising, indeed!
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But his gut? Maybe it says “Plentiful” – that would mean he’s thinking ahead to his elder years of 38-41. The ‘roid damage will kick in by then and…..well, you know.

12:08 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

@Vin, pretty sure it says WEASEL. We’ve booked this guy before. Except I refer to him as a rat bastard. Weasel, rat, their shits are always bigger than their peens. Sad really.
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Boner Patrol: We make you uncomfortable so we can make you comfortable.

12:09 pm October, 6 soy bomb said...

‘Roidbag pulling off the impressive hand gesture/Bud Light clutch. UFC and Bud Light, two sh*tty tastes that, when combined, taste even sh*ttier than the sum of their parts somehow.

12:10 pm October, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Vin
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Since the tatt wraps around his arm I assume that we’re missing some crucial parts of it. I think it probably reads in full: “Weasel entrance in rear.” And he should sue the doctor that tried to give him that mastectomy for his little gynecomastia problem.

12:13 pm October, 6 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Wheezer
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I think the belly tatt says “doubtful” with an arrow pointing downward as in it is doubtful anyone will ever find it let alone touch it. I’m thinking it resembles a Sea Monkey probably more than anything else.

12:13 pm October, 6 soy bomb said...

It appears that ‘Roidbag is invading Pillowfight Triplet Kim’s personal space, which is comforting.

12:21 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

The happiest looking hott is the one that is the farthest away from the Artful Doucher. Coincidence? I think twat. Damn you autocorrect. I meant to say twat.

12:30 pm October, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The happiest looking hott is also the hottest hott, and she’s 10 feet behind these clowns.

12:30 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

@Creature. Suck a big fat duck. There’s plenty to choose from down here at the station you fucking old ass faggot.
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Boner Patrol: We serve up hot grudge Sundaes to the mildly retarded.

12:36 pm October, 6 Wheezer said...

@Doc Bunsen:
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That may very well be – I can’t really tell because of that incredibly manly UFC Bud Light bottle he’s gripping the way a real cagefighter does. (snorts)
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I do know that his upper chest reads “Vagina” with a little upward arrow where his Adam’s apple used to be. See, I was going for the whole truth in advertising motif here, and “Vagina” would seem to fit. I was just giving this wanker some credit for having foresight.

12:48 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

Wheezer is the real deal.

12:50 pm October, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucker stole my Halloween idea. Man tits and all. Damn dirty ape.

12:53 pm October, 6 creature said...

BP is like herpes…it never goes away

12:59 pm October, 6 DarkSock said...

^You’ve obviously never asked BP for restitution money…

1:05 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

@DarkSock, you are also okay in my book. Animal micturation aside. I know that’s just a hobbie anyways.

1:21 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

I mean seriously, my vagina just dries right up when I see Creature’s avatar. Luckily Dude McCrudeshoes, DarkSock, Et Tu, Medusa,Soy Bomb, Wheezer, Doc B, Mr. White, Vin D. and Hermit always save the day. Just sayin, if I had to spend the rest of eternity with a chatroom filled with RevChads and Creatures I would end it. Humanity would be doomed with those two in charge. Fucking doomed. Thank heavens they have no actual power.
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If opinions are like assholes, I have a dodechahedronanus.

1:36 pm October, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I think your vagina has been dried out since birth Boner PaTroll. You couldn’t handle Creatures proboscis or my Jesus-Sized cocck. Not that we would give you the pleasure. You put the cunt in misogyny.
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I am going to share the democratic process with my retarded ladies and buy them a nice Thai dinner. Even though Thai is very 90’s, ask Choad The Douche Sprocket. He knows. So fuck off til I get back Sybil.
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Sons.

2:01 pm October, 6 creature said...

BP
when you look in the mirror does the reflection resemble your asshole?
just making an educated guess

2:02 pm October, 6 Mandouchian Candidate said...

Tough room… how does anyone single out Rev Chad and Creature for being any better or worse than the rest of us retards?

2:12 pm October, 6 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Back on the subject, all three ladies are A-list quality boobie suckle-thigh…albeit PTP poontang…given their matching swimwear.
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He looks like something I scraped off my shoe this morning.
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In sum, they are the raison d’etre of this site. (That’s French for sum of u. It means: they give DB1 and the rest of us ‘baghunters cause to want to either stick a fork in our eyes for looking at him (or a pitchfork in his ass — where no doubt one has been before) or reach for a box of Kleenex after we’ve relieved ourselves OR grab a dog-eared copy of Bertrand Russell or Plato to better understand how one’s love of truth and its epistemological symbiosis with the sense-experience of beautiful ideas can co-exist with the thought of those three nymphs cavorting on my man-handle yet still demean themselves by coming within 50 feet of that human turd.
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.Neo-Hegelians

2:17 pm October, 6 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

@Rev: Thai dinner pour deux are very very 1998…unless taken at Lotus of Siam in Vegas.
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.Hunan and Szechuan are making a comeback if you want to impress the ladies with your worldliness whilst setting their hearts aflame and their (and your) assholes on fire.
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.@Mandouchian: We are all sensitive people…with so MUCH to give…ohh…oh…
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.Marvin’s Gaye

2:18 pm October, 6 Douche of Hazard said...

To the right of his weasel tattoo appears to be a nip.

2:46 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

@Mandouchian Candidate, its hard to say really. I usually just follow my heart.

3:50 pm October, 6 Boner Patrol said...

@RevChoad, please go please your poor wife of 100 years with your Hitler sized dong. Us single ladies could give a shit.

5:32 pm October, 6 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It’s gratifying to know I make Boner Patrol’s vagina moist. Or at least undry. Along with several others, but I was listed first.

7:55 pm October, 6 troy tempest said...

The Artful Doucher speaks in unintelligible grunts.
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“Hey mumba… groark grumba gruk. gabba gabba yark.”
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And that’s AFTER he’s had his coffee.
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Otherwise he just makes these gurgling sounds – kind of like a sucking chest wound.

8:16 pm October, 6 Guid is Good said...

I would like to watch me blowing a load in those mirror aviators.

8:30 pm October, 6 Stephanie said...

That guy should be wearing a training bra.

8:50 pm October, 6 Medusa Oblongata said...

The only thing that Trog is good for is clubbing a Sabretooth on the head and dragging it back to his cave.

8:54 pm October, 6 Whoop-di-douche said...

Answer: It takes three broads in highlighter yellow bikinis to compete with a dude with manboobs.
Now, what exactly was the question?

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