Saturday, November 12, 2011

Comment of the Week: The Reverend Chad Kroeger


Our honorable Reverend, The Reverend Chad Kroeger, reflects on the wasted college years and the power of HCwDB in the Mongo See Crab Cakes! thread and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week (language edited for Googleness work issues):

—–
F#cking Coreys. I need some strange. Have known the Mrs. for thirty years around now. F#cking Jebus. I knew I was too young to get married at 31 after she chased me down for a decade seeking the Holy Cock. F#ck. Thirty years till I’m dead, I need more p#ssy. I need Megap#ssy not the little bit of strange lovin I run into through incest and hookers and girls in the bad part of town who give me a blowey for a gram and a slice of pie. And by incest I mean adults at least a first cousin away from me. Hermit has to know some hot chicks that pick up sh#t around his hovel while washing cars in cheerleader uniforms and getting each other all wet and sh#t for the homecoming dance.
——–

Its like Walt Disney and Charles Bukowski had a retarded love child, and that retarded love child became a poet.

# posted by douchebag1
12:48 pm November, 12 creature said...

i wanna stomp cigarette butts out on this smug lil’ turds face!
.
.
…that is purple head, not you rev

1:20 pm November, 12 Wheezer said...

All Princess here needs is guyliner to complete my Purple Migraine.

1:25 pm November, 12 Nancy Dreuche said...

I bet RevChads old lady wouldn’t mind some strange young dong herself. No offense RevChad. I’m sure you go all night what with all of your health issues and side effects from side effects, but she could probably use a quality bone without fear of someone dying on her.

1:33 pm November, 12 hermit said...

^nice
Reverend Chad is to the ministry as Darksock is to the maritime safety.

1:38 pm November, 12 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’m honoured to be referred to as retarded in this second award for my insane ramblings. If only my mother would have been so kind. I think Hermit’s mother veteran thing was supposed to get it but he will win Comment Of The Year for something.
.
Anyway. My daughter had her 8 year old friend over for a sleep last night and when I woke from an unsound sleep in which I was actually in the marriage bed post-coitus with the Mrs. and my damaged cock. The bigger it is the harder it is to use with all the pills and shit, fuck. I crept downstairs to a lower level where I could peek in on the little rotten darlings in another lower level to find that they had been watching Much Music, Hoser MTV. Well sweet fucking cockstick in a hockey bag. There was Brittany Spears singing song called “If You Seek Amy” (F.U.C.K. ME). They were sleeping but I lost it. As I was reprogramming the TV to prevent this from happening again some band LMFAO came on. If you’ve seen that you know the end is nigh. And bynigh, I mean chili and a bottle of scotch then to bed to soothe my re-shattered nerves.
.
Nepos

4:26 pm November, 12 Doucheywallnuts said...

I <3 Rev Chad and not in a gay, cock-sucking, little-boy raping, Jerry Sandusky way. But in a manly, hetero much-respect way

7:00 pm November, 12 Medusa Oblongata said...

Holy crap. That is all.

8:39 pm November, 12 tall guy said...

Congrats, Kroeger! Well done, you.

11:22 pm November, 12 Stephanie said...

I just saw a milk dud with some purple hair on it in my Halloween bag of candy. No one will touch it.

3:52 am November, 13 Nostradouchus said...

What’s wrong with this picture? I style my hair like cotton candy all the time.

5:24 am November, 13 CB Popped said...

LMFAO – yep,,,,,this is another sign of the times and should surprise no one – the quality of music and entertainment is at an all time low,,,and for me, it all started w. The Black Eyed Peas,,,bc what they do has no musical value whatsoever.

Yet the sheeple continue to consume.

30 years till Im dead,,,,- that sums it up, nicely done Rev.

5:29 am November, 13 Steve said...

Throwing out to the widn here, but I just gotta say, anyone who looks at my music collection would probably think I was born in 1964 instead of 1984. You won’t find ANYTHING past the year 2000 (or even much past 1994 really), except all this awesome 80’s inspired synth music I’ve been finding around the ‘net lately. This stuff really sounds like it was made back then, and brings back all the memories. Skip ahead to around 4:35

5:30 am November, 13 Steve said...

Throwing out to the wind here, but I just gotta say, anyone who looks at my music collection would probably think I was born in 1964 instead of 1984. You won’t find ANYTHING past the year 2000 (or even much past 1994 really), except all this awesome 80’s inspired synth music I’ve been finding around the ‘net lately. This stuff really sounds like it was made back then, and brings back all the memories. Skip ahead to around 4:35

7:21 am November, 13 Wedgie said...

The other day my 10-year-old daughter asked me what LMFAO means.
I said it means we’re half way to the end of civilization as we know it.
And Katy Perry is the other half.

7:57 am November, 13 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Like @Rev Chad, I need more pussy.
.
.
.But the girl on the right simply won’t do.

8:25 am November, 13 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The other side of the Rev Chad Conundrum is, is there anyone who really can ever say that they have enough pussy, ever? I do not think so.
.
Nymphos

8:36 am November, 13 Nancy Dreuche said...

I never understood why anyone got married before age 35, especially men. The dude has to be the one to want to lock it down or else it doesn’t work. I say get a divorce RevChad, and sow the rest of your oats. Life is too short to be in an unhappy relationship. Your kids will be fine, no worse than they are with the way you are right now. Just my two cents.

10:38 am November, 13 creature said...

put ’em in your piggy bank!

10:40 am November, 13 idfma said...

Wally, yes, there are some days I can say, I have more than enough pussy, AND, I’m only fucking one right now . Yes I’m getting old, but I’m okay with that, because I can’t share the world much longer with LMFAO.
.
I hate drama. Fucking multiple women ALWAYS leads to drama. It’s only a matter of time. There may be 1 or 2 dudes in the whole world with enough ‘game’ to line up multiple girls who don’t give a shit aobut committment and the fact he’s fucking 8 other girls at the same time.
.
I don’t know that dude.
.
I know the dude who lies to them, so he can fuck multiple women and then every couple of weeks, one of them shows up at 3am on his front lawn, after slashing his tires and taking a shit in his front seat, and starts screaming at him what a worthless lying fuck he is while she’s setting his house on fire with him and one of the other members of his ‘stable’ in it–maybe even two because he talked them into a threesome. That’s what more pussy gets you. When I was 25, it was just part of the ‘game’–now, that game ain’t no fun no more.
.
You fellas don’t want more pussy: you want more pussy in the abstract. Life ain’t a porno, and they executed Caligula in a really unpleasant way.
.
DB1, the pear is wonderful, and definitely what makes life bearable, but ‘more pussy’ is like that last mint in “The Meaning of Life” it’s just gonna fuck you up.

11:02 am November, 13 idfma said...

Oh, and for you married dudes (I’m talking to you Kroeger), your wife is INSIDE screaming at you while she grabs the nearest sharp object (usually a kitchen knife), and stabs your ass with it.
.
Libertines.

11:49 am November, 13 creature said...

agreed…it only really works if the broads live in different towns, preferably at least 3 hrs apart, better if different states or better yet coasts…& you still have to tell lies
…cross town rarely works (unless you’re in university & they go to different schools) & it’s always more work than it’s worth!

4:46 pm November, 13 Sir David Douchenborough said...

As I was reprogramming the TV to prevent this from happening again some band LMFAO came on. If you’ve seen that you know the end is nigh.

Curiously, upon seeing that amalgam of recycled eighties, sugary pop culture nothingty, I too felt embittered about the future and reflexively lunged for my bottle of Danfield’s. The creepy meter shot up when I discovered it is an uncle and nephew duo, the former being 35 and possibly expecting the current crop of young lasses to have a sense of history on par with a squirrel. I suggest avoiding their other videos for good measure.

8:08 am November, 14 CB Popped said...

Uncle Newphew Duo,,,,it actually gets worse…holy shit.

Time for a Red Bull and Hydro.

Well done Steve…..I always see inspiring quotes from the youngins saying that todays music is crap.

when someone wears their hair, or a wig, or a badly tattered merkin, bright shiny purple, they also want to wear the make-up and little outfits of the japanese whores that were so popular a while back.

rev chad could use a few of those leftover whores, the douchebag, not so much.

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