Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Ed Sucky

The very idea that this transcendent blonde suckle thigh who has gifted us with vision of taut glutes and orgiastic bongo celebration would commingle, even for a second, with Ed Sucky’s toxic, amorphous, societal pollutant of a corpus, is enough to make a lone bonobo monkey in the rain forest smack his breast and wail in anguish for the pointlessness of natural selection.

# posted by douchebag1
7:00 am November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Brazilian Emo Hulk: Pygmie Edition

7:02 am November, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The guys been hitting the roids. Steroids on top, hemorroids on bottom.
.
Neposon

7:05 am November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

TWO WORD WEDNESDAY:
.
Feminine Forearms

7:05 am November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Polio Legs

7:06 am November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Dime Neck

7:08 am November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Bleeth Blonde

7:13 am November, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Severe Autodysomophobia

7:21 am November, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Who would have thought that images of tattoos from gay sailors from the 50’s sleezing about the Port of San Fransisco would have been so marketable? The strange world of douche economics.

7:22 am November, 23 Et Tu Douche? said...

A classic interpretation of HCwDB. I for one am disgusted.

7:31 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

She’s got a weird rash on her soon to be cankle. Meticulously and carefully crafted shredded jeans should be autodouche, unless he was attacked by a rabbi’s badger, then pass……for the rabbi’s badger. Way to go little buddy.

7:37 am November, 23 Wedgie said...

In Veritas Concubinus?

7:37 am November, 23 Wedgie said...

Veritas Cunnilingus?

7:43 am November, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

I almost want to give her a pass here and say she’s notta Bleeth. She isn’t overly done up or seem too artificial, I suspect her funbags are what baby Jeebus saw fit to bless her with her with at birth. It doesn’t look like she spends much time under a UV bulb either she does not glow with the warm orange aura of Snooki particle decay, no signs of being Jerzified with tacky, cheap shit disposible club wear from Charlotte Russe or Bebe, no bumpit or overly blown out hair with a buncha funky color or feathers or glitter or LED lights. The ankle tat and bleeth head tilt photo pose is a bit of a red flag. I wanna say she maybe she was set up on blind date with Ed Sucky by some Bleethy friend. She has a look on her face that as soon as the flash pops she is going to bolt for the nearest exit and try to forget she was ever in the same room with this guy. Its a good chance this colostomy bag was trying for weeks to wriggle said Bleethy friends panties off and she wasn’t having it so to get him off her back she dumped him on her friend here.

7:55 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Capt JT, on a scale of 1 to Bleeth. Bleeth being 11, she’s a 4. 3 of those points are solely from being in such close proximity to this Debbie Gibson jeans wearing head waiter at Chevy’s.

7:57 am November, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

This colostomy bag is the total douche package. Meticulously sculpted hair that looks messy which actually took 25 minutes to perfect, Ed Hardy shirt, carefully crafted damaged jeans that cost 1/3 his monthly salary, enhanced upper body with inane, trendy, meaningless tattoos, flavor saver chin fung, head tilt photo pose, religious bling, spends more time working on his face in the mirror than she does… the list goes on and on and on the only thing missing is the ten degree hat tilt. She has a look on her face of a person that as soon as the camera flash pops she is going to bolt for the nearest exit and try to erase the memory of ever having been in the same room as this douche.

8:01 am November, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

oops didn’t mean to repeat myself, didn’t think @7:43 am posted my browser went crazy when I clicked submit on that one.

8:09 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

I agree with your synopsis Captain, except for the wishful thinking last part. One does not head tilt, leg touch for a long period of time (like the time it takes for the perfect photo). unless one is sticking around. Plus there’s no hover hand in play. That’s a solid grab. Sorry, as the night grows longer her bleeth points will be climbing higher and higher, all the way to 11.

8:27 am November, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

After a hard day at work, Manuel tries to butter the buns of this hott. Too bad she’s already spotted a much douchier choad and is about to push off on her way to meet him.

8:31 am November, 23 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Dammit Dammit to Tartarus and back!! Drueches observation is correct she will be racking up Bleeth points like crazy and he’ll go home happy as a retard at Chuck E Cheese!!! Come Monday he’ll be telling the tale of all his 51 glorious seconds inside her to the busboy whilst spitting in the fajitas he’s about to drop off to table 4. Curse you Richard Grieco and all your demon spawn!!

8:39 am November, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Black tops should be banned as they do not provide requisite visual booby clues.

8:51 am November, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Do you feel lucky, douche?
.
Well, do you, douche?

8:54 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Doc B, how dare you compare him to the awesome Manuel. For shame.

9:02 am November, 23 Hurl Scheibe said...

He sure does have one heck of a set of anal beads around his neck.

9:11 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

Note to self. Wear only black tops from here on out.

9:17 am November, 23 The Dude said...

Some douchebags may have a pleasant demeanor, or sound like nice people in a conversation. Who knows, once I’m done clawing my eyes out, Ed could be my friend.
.
.
Unless he’s wearing Axe Douchespray. Never mind. I like my nose.

10:10 am November, 23 hermit said...

Woke up this morning and i was out of coffee filters, then the blood vessels in my right ear erupted, covering my favorite shirt in blood. As if that’s not bad enough, while straining to take a difficult dump, my penile implant shifted, and you know how painful that is. Finally, seeing this pic of Ed made me sick to my stomach .
.
.
I hate Wednesdays!

10:21 am November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

I’m sorry Hermit. That sounds horrible. Yeah this picture makes me want to eat two French bread pizzas to stuff my emotional outrage at the fact this bleeth and douchebag are doin it. Oh the huge manatee! Ooh, pizza is done. BRB.

10:56 am November, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Nancy
.
It was the “hee haw, hee haw” part that got me. I beg forgiveness.

11:15 am November, 23 Douchble Helix said...

How’s about a pic, ND? C’mon, it’s Thanksgiving in the civilized parts of the world!

11:52 am November, 23 tall guy said...

The only reason he isn’t rockin’ the hat tilt is because the venue has a hatless door policy. As for her, look at those thighs. There’s some soon to be serious cellulite happening. Make no mistake, she’s bleeth to the power of ten. The ankle tatt alone is enough of a signifier.

12:00 pm November, 23 Nancy Dreuche said...

@DH, eat me first. Yeah, that’s the terms of this pic negotiation.

12:49 pm November, 23 Southern Scrotic said...

Tiger’s hair implants are taking a turn for the worse.

3:24 pm November, 23 Douchble Helix said...

@ND. Sure.

4:03 pm November, 23 UFO Destroyers said...

Bleeth tatt says “Connect to gold hoop ankle holders.”

4:19 pm November, 23 Stephanie said...

They both have pointed heads.

11:29 pm November, 23 Nostradouchus said...

It’s pretty bad when you do all that primping and you still have to airbrush the photo…

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