Wednesday, November 2, 2011

He Likes Turtles

Meh, I’d probably give Dave a nottadouche and a Halloween pass if he wasn’t drinking Bud.

Perfect enhanced Cleavite taut suckle tatt-free Sharona pushes the limits of Female Groin Shave Revelation to their flux capacity, and earns an approving nod from the gods.

# posted by douchebag1
2:45 pm November, 2 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Well-shaved Sharona can snap at my turtle anytime.
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.Filipinos

2:51 pm November, 2 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

And I gotta say notta….he’s just a lucky fool….not offensive on any level compared to the A-list Habadouchery available all around any pool in Vegas any hour of the day….

2:53 pm November, 2 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Habadouchery….hmmmm….I may have just coined a new one, eh, DB1?
.
..
BTW: Turtlehead is a famous outcropping in Red Rock Canyon outside of Vegas..
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…and this guy.
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.Tufnels

2:54 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

Just a question: what’s do the regulars think about Female Groin Shave Reveal? And some input from the females would be appreciated. You too, Stephanie.

2:56 pm November, 2 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Sorry….I missed the Bud reference. Reason enough to dub him a douche.
.
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.Budweiser: The Pisswater of aluminum bottled beers.
.

3:06 pm November, 2 Bigphatnotadouche said...

I have no problem with groin shave reveal on the Hotts.
Bald is beautiful.

Kojack

3:13 pm November, 2 Southern Scrotic said...

Her GSR reminds me of early sunrise in the mountains, just as the first light of the sun starts peaking over the horizon.
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I get wood then too.

3:22 pm November, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

I’ll give him a notta if he hands over the hott and steps away.

3:25 pm November, 2 wonderdouchetwin said...

Agree that the Hotts get a groin reveal pass, nothing wrong at all with it in my book!!

3:40 pm November, 2 Wedgie said...

Turtle Head is what young Wedgie Jr. calls it when a deuce is poking out. Probably t.m.i. but you guys can handle it. I mean, it’s not like he’s peeing in a horse’s butt.
..
GSR properly displayed gets an amazing 97% approval rating from Nielson. The 3% are clergyman (and would approve if the subjects in question were young males, but then you wouldn’t need the GSR, now would you?).
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Altarboys.

3:40 pm November, 2 Dan said...

Count me on the other side, its skanky and bleethy. Respectable hotties reveal their nether regions to worthy suitors, not the entire world.

3:42 pm November, 2 Anonymous said...

make up on his “abs”?

3:43 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

Okay, I’m convinced; Groin Shave Reveal is alright for the laydeez. Blokes, you trim.

3:46 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Fine enhanced mellons, but perfection on the GSR. I can almost feel that softest of flesh on my cheek.

3:53 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

The thing is once the old respectable/morality argument comes in it’s a no brainer.

4:01 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I know I’ll be overruled, but I can’t help but put out a humble call for the HoH.

4:04 pm November, 2 creature said...

sharona has three fleshy mounds I want to paddycake for hours on end…
…& by paddycake I mean release torrents of dna uponst!

4:05 pm November, 2 creature said...

dunno D McC…does she have a head?

4:09 pm November, 2 Mr. White said...

I could be mistaken, but is he wearing jorts? (I was staring down in that area for other reasons…) As we all know, jean shorts died in the 80s. Hence, douche.

4:16 pm November, 2 baffomet said...

I’m sorry, but she’s definitely a buttaface.

4:16 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

No overruling from me re. the HoH call. But I will say that I find the Filipino accent very annoying.

4:17 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Creature, yep. Stare a while longer at it may come to you. Slight resemblance to Vanessa Hudgens.

4:22 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

I would hope that the real Turtle Boy does not wax his chest and oil it up like the broheim pictured here. As for female GSR, I feel like if a woman is willing to go through the pain of having that shit done to her I guess she should at least get to show it off. Obviously it has the desired effect, dudes go batshit over child-like vaginas. So win-win I guess. I don’t condone nature bush either though, but there’s gotta be a happy medium between baby pussy and Harry Vagina and the Henderson’s. There’s just gotta be.

4:25 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

And yeah, this chicks waxed up poon and not original parts for HOH. I’m sure her personality is great too. When you guys figure out how to jizz on that lemme know.

4:32 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

I can jizz on anything. It’s like a superpower, but with jizz.

4:34 pm November, 2 hermit said...

I’d snort the twat whiskers from her shower drain like a drunken fat man licking egg whites off the floor of an airport snack bar.

4:41 pm November, 2 hermit said...

I’d gnaw on her hip bone like a hungry jackal on an alpaca femur.

4:43 pm November, 2 hermit said...

I’d humiliate her with a rubber garden hose and a bucket of fried chicken.

4:55 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

I’m with Dreuche: trim please laydeez! The whole bald beaver look removes an integral part of the female anatomy: Their fur or pelt.

4:57 pm November, 2 hermit said...

She’d humiliate me with a sharp rebuke and a restraining order.

5:02 pm November, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Nancy Dreuche
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Gentlemen don’t concern themselves with the accoutrement of the vagina. Thing looks like a space succubus anyway. Might as well have a hairy face on it if you want. Dirty hole of of birth and death occurences. Sometimes ya just gotta wish that the sun will rise for one more day. Fuc,k

5:19 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

The Vagina Monologues II: The Baldening

5:31 pm November, 2 hermit said...

Queen Elizabeth’s vagina is said to have the odor, consistency and circumference of a can of expired tuna.

5:31 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Wait just a sec… I was zooming in for reasons I won’t go into here, and I noticed it looks like Turtle has makeup or somesuch on his belly to make it look like he has defined abs. Someone check me on this. It may be a new low in douche narcissism.

5:41 pm November, 2 hermit said...

They drained a large lake in Samoa. The resulting hole is said to have the same consistency, odor and circumference of Pinky’s mom’s vagina.

5:52 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@tall guy, thanks for the support and for some reason I always feel like we’re in PE together.
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@Rev, your poetic waxings on raising kids, marriage and poon decor always have me wondering if I should just bat for the other team and give up on men entirely. Nice work!

5:55 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Dude McCrude, I think you may be right about your super power and this douches fake abs. Maybe he got jealous of all the attention her fake boobs were getting.

6:10 pm November, 2 tall guy said...

Kroeger! ‘Gentlemen’ rarely speak of the vagina…

6:11 pm November, 2 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^Dude has spray tan over highlighting. I never new there was a shade of spray tan called “HIV Anemic”.

6:40 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

@Sybil, I think it’s the epic GSR that is getting attention. The boobs are nice, but it’s like a big mound of Reddi-wip, when a dollop of real whipped cream would have been sufficient.
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You can psychoanalyst my preference for bare or nearly bare vajayjay, but it only makes sense to see what you are getting into before you stumble into the maw of Sarlacc to be digested for 10,000 years.

6:41 pm November, 2 Steve L. said...

i can tell that that’s not a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costume.
but that qualifies Dan for something better.
and by “something better” i mean two katanas swung at high velocities.

7:02 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Dude McCrudeshoes, you know, I really just have the one personality. It’s just a pretty big one so it seems like a lot of people. But whatever floats your boat in regards to that and your carpet preference. The pimped out vag seems to be all the rage these days so I’m sure you won’t have to look too hard to stumble into a soul sucking Sarlaac pit you can call Mrs. McCrudeshoes.

7:18 pm November, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

WOW, these two are downright clean compared to the duo who appeared just before them.

9:02 pm November, 2 Spunky said...

What’s wrong with Bud? I’m not a fan of their either beer or their commercials, but don’t they get a Nottadouche for Real Men of Genius?

Why is Budweiser inherently douchey, and which other beers should I be wary of?

9:06 pm November, 2 Nostradouchus said...

She forgot to wash her belly button…there’s a few crusties in there…

9:28 pm November, 2 Stephanie said...

Shave or no shave for women? It’s all about personal preference. As long as you wash and keep it clean. When a guy shaves the pubic area,it’s ugly and like making love to a 14 year old boy. That’s not sexy at all.
Cute ordinary suburban non douche couple in the photo,they should join the Mickey Mouse Club.

10:14 pm November, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

I’m not a big fan of anyone’s GSR. I’m sorry. If you’re gonna go that low, just take them off. I have no idea what it is, but any bottoms that low on anyone make me cringe.
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As for the war paint on turtle boy, I really think it’s just thBWAAAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAA AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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What a douche. This is indeed a new low in adouchetrements.

11:14 pm November, 2 CB Popped said...

Is he wearing suspenders? WTF?

I could def fwap all over her charming, sophisticated personality. (face)

There is a handbook for that.

11:18 pm November, 2 CB Popped said...

Female GSR is certainly distracting to the simple male mind ( if said Female is attractive), I’m not sure if I’m down with it, or true hotties need not perform this.

12:04 am November, 3 tall guy said...

In the final analysis, FGSR or otherwise, she has glorious jugs. In fact, overall she’s quite the stunner. HoH nomination? Or should a HoH ethnic category be initiated?

12:42 am November, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

For the most part, I’m opposed to shaven genital regions on ANY sex, as I explained a little while ago on a previous post.
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However in Sharona’s particular case, I’ll make an exception. For I agree heartily. And my penis agrees meatily. Go forth and reveal pubis, my child. And all will be well.

12:59 am November, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I mean, I work out at a very busy gym about 4 days a week, so I have the misfortune of viewing a wide swath of strange mens’ wrinkles appendages every time I enter the locker room. I see it all. Big, small, knobbly, crooked, twisted, greying, trimmed, shaved, brown, purple, pink, you name it.
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But when I walked in last week to find a naked guy with one leg propped up on the sink counter, dick in one hand smashed up into his tummy while he was in the midst of SHAVING HIS FUCKING BALLS, I just about lost my breakfast.
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I mean, if you want to trim the brush to make the tree look taller, go right ahead. Your junk is your business and you do with it what you like. But when in a public place you take it upon yourself to SHAVE YOUR FUCKING BALLS with no regard for the people who may inadvertently witness this, then you’re taking it too far.
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It’s a free country, and we’re all free to make our own choices, mistakes, missteps, etc. It’s given in a society which upholds the sanctity of the individual above most all other moral imperatives. But when an individual crosses the line, and imposes an unwarranted assault upon his fellow man by SHAVING HIS FUCKING BALLS in the company of strangers, a clear violation upon the sanctity of those individual freedoms has been lain.
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To all men: Do with your body what you wish, but please refrain from SHAVING YOUR FUCKING BALLS in the company of other men who don’t specifically express their desire to see another man SHAVING HIS FUCKING BALLS in front of them.
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Thank you.

4:42 am November, 3 CB Popped said...

Public ball – shaving is never acceptable.

Ever.

6:02 am November, 3 Doucheywallnuts said...

The female GSR is one of the greatest cultural grooming phenomena of human history. The male total body shave and GSR represents the nadir of history.
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Sharona makes First Team All-GSR.

6:23 am November, 3 Olddog1 said...

She is glorious. He is lucky. Bud lite is not beer. It’s a form of beer flavored water, as is Miller Lite, Coors Lite and dare I say it Corona Lite. I believe that all that stuff is is around so posers can brag to their bros that they sucked down a case of beer last weekend without really drinking any beer. There are so many good beers around these days that there is no excuse for this blight on civilization. Try an IPA and tell me I am wrong.

7:00 am November, 3 JustDan said...

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale FTW

What this man would like to see more of:
Hotty Groin bush reveal.

Not no damn landing strip either, a full, but tastefully trimmed bush reveal could be very hot.

7:26 am November, 3 DarkSock said...

I like her turtle.
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Fuccen Ball Shavers.

7:41 am November, 3 Hurl Scheibe said...

@ Jacques Doucheteau – Perhaps the silver lining in this cloud is the fact that at least he wasn’t bleaching his anus in public.

8:41 am November, 3 army (ret) douche said...

9lb watch

Autodouche

9:53 am November, 3 troy tempest said...

I just noticed that his abs are PAINTED ON. That’s fuccin weird.

9:59 am November, 3 Nancy Dreuche said...

Shaving your balls in public takes balls but it’s still auto douche.

10:52 am November, 3 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Hurl Scheibe
That very well could have been the next item on his agenda, I don’t know. I wasn’t about to stand around watching just to satisfy my curiosity.
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Or satisfy anything else for that matter.

12:22 pm November, 3 Hurl Scheibe said...

A prudent course of action. Just the thought of some guy shaving his balls like you described in a gym makes for a second taste of the lunch I had a few hours ago.

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