Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Herpster Frank Wears All Black to a Wine Tasting: Discovers Epic Side Boob

Little known fact: Boobies can never be ironic.

Yeah, Frank’s barely a ‘bag, might even be a notta, but hey. Side boob.

# posted by douchebag1
3:09 pm November, 1 Wedgie said...

Primo side action and who cares if he’s a bag or not. I also don’t care if there’s peace in the Middle East, either.

3:09 pm November, 1 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

Epic indeed. If I dated her I would walk at a 90 degree offset at all times. 🙂

3:15 pm November, 1 soy bomb said...

It looks as if a Nerf® football is attempting to mate with her armpit.

3:17 pm November, 1 Vin Douchal said...

I’m hankering for a grapefruit

3:22 pm November, 1 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

The boobs are fake of course, which mitigates the suckle-factor for some of us. But like an micro-oxygenated, over-oaked, blowsy and buffoonish California chardonnay, there is a certain attraction to their obvious, manipulated charms.
.
.Artificially-engineered titties, like mass-market, artificially-enhanced wine, still get the job done, but allow for no reflection, poetry or oenophilic analysis beyond how drawn we are to their obvious, latent-yet-patent falseness, and lack of lactic appeal.
.
.In other words, they’re no fun to f*ck or suck.
.
.But as wacking material for @Rev Chad et al, these will do just fine.

3:35 pm November, 1 creature said...

if he palms those flesh cannons that’s heroic!

3:37 pm November, 1 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

My first thought was pretty f-in epic is right. Then I began wondering that with the all the side-boob, under-boob, and most of the front boob… were the fuck is she hiding her nipple? Did she have it removed? Or has it been relocated through numerous boob jobs to somewhere in the vicinity of her collar bone?
.
And by way, what’s with the freakishly tiny doll hand? She’d need to invite a friend to help her give me a hand job, and even then she can forget about any chance of cupping the balls. And that is a big faux pas in my book.

4:42 pm November, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Next on When Side Boob Goes Horribly Wrong…

4:43 pm November, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Next on When Side Boob Kills Wood…

4:44 pm November, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Next on When Side Boob Becomes Side Small Medicine Ball…

4:45 pm November, 1 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Next on When Side Boob Gives Side Boob a Bad Name…

5:07 pm November, 1 Wedgie said...

^Bet you’d still slap your wallnuts on it though.

5:14 pm November, 1 creature said...

that Rudy sure can pull some tail!

5:20 pm November, 1 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I’d give her $350 for the porn star hour. She’d be all analized and gooed on like a sweet little glazed custard croissant at one of Choad The D.S. favorite French bistro’s. The carnage of her prolapse rectum would resemble a strawberry trifle with a heathy portion of sherry hinting at notes of cassis and elderberry. Three weeks later my cock would look like a calzone with mushroom sauce and extra cheese while the doctor prepared the syringe and unbrella scraper, anybody remember those, Ouchy!!
My favorite STD detector was the swab shoved down your cock. Jesus, why wouldn’t they just give us two weeks of penicillin. Fuccken cocksuckers! Buzz on sons.

5:39 pm November, 1 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

To sum up Choad’s attempt to make The Comment of the Week:
That’s one pretty big pile of boobage!
BUT
Those are duck lips!

5:49 pm November, 1 Douchelips said...

Douchelips and sideboob FTW!

5:54 pm November, 1 El Bastardo Magnifico said...

I don’t know what kind of function where dressing that way would be appropriate, but I’m totally in favor of it, whatever it might be.

5:58 pm November, 1 mandouchian candidate said...

She looks like a wax statue and he looks like he is not getting what he paid for. Speaking of paid for, that bill for the umbrella scraper is a kick in the old dick, no pun intended. Screaming agony at the health clinic and they present you a bill. Fuckheads.

5:58 pm November, 1 Ted Brogan said...

The side boob here defies physics. And I’m perfectly fine with that.

6:23 pm November, 1 Nancy Dreuche said...

So I guess ripping the sleeves off a T-shirt like that fat guy at the gym does to provide more air to his pits is the new look for chicks. That’s hella tits I guess.

7:06 pm November, 1 doucheywallnuts said...

In the year 2011 there’s nothing worse than – and no excuse for – a bad, butchered boob job. I’ll never forget the first time I palmed a fake tit back in 1986. It was a horrible experience; looked good, felt bad. Which, ironically, is the opposite of a vagina, which looks bad and feels good.

7:10 pm November, 1 troy tempest said...

So’s like she’s jus’ all like down with the makkin Sammies who like to give the momma a little zum zum in the dumb zone, if ya knows what I means, cuz its like all over with the flangblang triple crowd and their “no duckface” persona non grata bullshit tonight honey, cuz when the poo sings it says “Lay’em down and smack ’em yack ’em”. And it’s all true cuz I swings like dat.

7:15 pm November, 1 Mr Mustache said...

Sideboob. Creamy, delicious.

7:37 pm November, 1 creature said...

DouceyWallnuts, aint nuthin here a clawhammer can’t fix

7:38 pm November, 1 Wedgie said...

Revvie FTW.
Yes, I remember those, and not fondly.

8:58 pm November, 1 Nostradouchus said...

I see the startlings of Hitler lip fung.

9:54 pm November, 1 Medusa Oblongata said...

If you scratch and sniff her sideboob, you smell Valtrex.

11:39 pm November, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

@ Choad The Douche Sprocket ,
You’ll never know until you try, and then slap ’em around a bit for good measure. Just to make sure you don’t like them. And even then, you may as well finish what you started and spew a good heaping glob of gonad spittle all over them.
.
And for scientific purposes, you mustn’t forget to run the same test on a control sample. Preferably at the same time as to avoid skewing the results. You’ll probably want to conduct the test on a similar subject without breast augmentation for a good comparative analysis. Like a younger sister.

11:39 pm November, 1 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Hmmmm…what happened there?

12:24 am November, 2 The Dude said...

Side boobs aside, let’s not take sides here. Besides side boobs.

12:28 am November, 2 Guid is Good said...

Sure her plastic surgeon stuck her tit under her armpit but who am I to complain?

1:18 am November, 2 Wheezer said...

@Dude McCrudeshoes (3:37 p.m.) –
.
Just make sure her “friend” is female and not her brother…..

4:35 am November, 2 idfma said...

The ‘collar’ of that ‘shirt’ looks like a parachute bunched up around his neck. Any attire with a full torso zipper located diagonally up the side that ends in a collar like that is auto in my book.
.
Yes, it looks like she could kiss her own nipple without even looking down to find it.

4:36 am November, 2 idfma said...

In fact, when erect, her nipple probably sticks up her nose.

7:26 am November, 2 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Get her to twist just a bit in either direction and those glorious boobs come spilling out.

10:37 am November, 2 tall guy said...

I’ve rarely seen a side boob I disapprove of. And let the record show I consider this Herpster a total coolsie douche (or douche coolsie, which every fits your particular need).

7:46 pm November, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Beneath the distracting highlight on the round of her side-boob I detect two hickies.

7:48 pm November, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

Themz a great way to package porch beef and hot Yukon Gold potatoes in a carry-out meal..

9:03 pm November, 2 Stephanie said...

Oh,her boobs are in the wrong place,she’s an alien with a tiny hand,guys,if boobs really matter so much,why not get some balloons and fill with warm water,and caress them all day long.

Leave a Reply

What is 8 + 8 ?
Please leave these two fields as-is:
IMPORTANT! To be able to proceed, you need to solve the following simple math (so we know that you are a human) :-)