Thursday, November 10, 2011

Herpster Henry, Bright Eyed Brigitte, and the Hand of the Collective Unconscious

Possible nominee for my 2023 Art Show at the Guggenheim Museum?

# posted by douchebag1
2:41 pm November, 10 Wheezer said...

Except for the Nerdster, this is a beautiful photo.

2:47 pm November, 10 jonezy said...

nominee for my daily office boner
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*thlunk*

2:54 pm November, 10 Stephanie said...

I’m sorry,this is not acceptable to any woman. This is unwanted,and not good to show assholes who might think this is okay. It’s not okay to grab unless it’s your boyfriend or husband or a person you want to grab you,but even so,this is so not cool to post. If this is unwanted this would be sexual assault. That’s douchebaggy and worth a 911call. I don’t care if you look at women’s breasts,or side boobage,or whatever on here,looking isn’t touching. This sends a bad message to people who are already assholes who think this would be funny. I have a sense of humor,and I laugh at everything on this site,but this is the next step to bad ideas I do not like. I don’t want this site to be known for crap like this. I would rather mock and have fun,guys.

2:58 pm November, 10 Stephanie said...

I know the arm might be a women’s arm,it could be a guys too.I wouldn’t want a women to grab me either! This crosses the line a little bit.

3:04 pm November, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

She looks like a mannequin…and about as much fun as one.
.
.
.He looks like someone who’s never been laid.
.
.
.I’m all for arm’s length transactions…especially when they involve funbag fondlings.

3:07 pm November, 10 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Excuse me miss….but I need to see the consideration for your contacts….er…uh…I mean CONTRACT before we consummate ….uh….er….CONCLUDE this transaction.
.
.
.Restatements

3:12 pm November, 10 Hermit said...

No worries, you must remember this is a work of art, and there fore not subject to having carroway seeds combed from it‘s pubic hairs with a wire brush.. This appears entirely consensual and by no means unwanted. Also, that isn’t a human hand but the proboscis of an amorous Bulgarian anteater training for military leadership. The chick on the left is K.D. Lang’s middle sister, laying a lip lock on blondie like a Holstein with birth defects churning butter in a water treatment plant.. Mexican bordellos proudly post pictures of the Virgin Mary on the outskirts of Pittsburgh with similar craven images and I hear no complaints from Joe Paterno’s homo assistant.
You must also remember, it’s an election year, and in far-flung capitols egotistical clowns line up and struggle like swine at the Totalitarian, slop trough. Political sodomites perform pantomimes and exotic lap dances seeking to curry the favor of the expendable minions to determine the next puppet to stand in front of the monitor as The Machine turns the knobs and wheels behind the curtain of the Oligarchal Juggernaut. Useful Idiots stop at frenzied feeding stations to gulp down processed garbage, hustling to jump back on the hamster wheel, while cursing their voluntary shackles. They rush off in metallic death traps, never looking to see the flaming bridges in the rear view mirror.

3:15 pm November, 10 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Bright Eyed Bridgitte can not escape the long arm of the bra.
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O Bridgit, my five year old girlfriend. I remember the day you put your hand down my pants behind the now demolished arena near our houses, under the tin-roofed lean-to that the farmers had a market under. You showed me yours and gave me the added bonus of sticking my pinky nail deep in your bung and showing me your nipples. Good times. And I am hypothetically grabbing both of Stephanie’s pancaked boobs passive-aggressive style.
.
Goosemen

3:16 pm November, 10 Vin Douchal said...

You know, before we get all huffy about uninvited groping , maybe the arm is a last grasp by an innocent being sucked into a vortex. A Grieco Virus vortex of Douchebags more horrible than anything Dante ever dreamed?
.
Save me glorious boobies!!! Save me,…. ahhhhhhhhhhhh……..

3:17 pm November, 10 Crazed Aborigine said...

Uh, Stephanie, this boob grab looks completely posedl, as far as I can see from here. A quick slap would remove that hand, if it was where blondie didn’t want it to be.

3:21 pm November, 10 hermit said...

Therefore is one word but my scrotum is swollen and I need a nap.

3:45 pm November, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Mo’ Rocca bag with pre crackhead Tara Reid out socializing along with art house douchery and bleething out shenanigans. Oh c’mon like its not obvious the phantom arm is helping her adjust her dress, I mean jeez this Herman Cane shit has got everybody all worked up!!

3:48 pm November, 10 baffomet said...

Stephanie, you seriously need to relax.
1) The arm is indeed a woman’s. Here’s a hint, look at the bracelets on the arm.
2) How do you know it’s unwanted? That’s a huge speculation on your part considering that the blonde doesn’t seem fazed a least bit that someone (most likely her girlfriend) is reaching in the grab her. Where’s her look of horror or disgust? I’d be more disgusted that some chode is kissing my cheek.
3) You do not speak for all the women in the world. How can you say it’s not acceptable to all women. I’ve known, seen, and talked to quite a few women that has had this happened and are perfectly fine with it.
4) This isn’t your site and if don’t like what’s on it, GTFO. There have been tons of pictures of dudes doing a lot more stuff than just groping, hence the title Hot Chicks with “DOUCHEBAGS”. Do you really think that it’s promoting all those bad things that are offending you? If you ever care to notice, most comments are talking crap about the douchebag (e.g. the looks, poses, and actions)

Next time you want to get on your mighty moral high horse, you might want to go the http://www.disney.com so that you don’t get offend so easily.

/rant off

3:48 pm November, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Oh wise and merciful Hermit, could you point me in the direction of these so-called Mexican bordellos (that) proudly post pictures of the Virgin Mary on the outskirts of Pittsburgh? Next time I have to visit my family I want to know where I can have some fun.

3:51 pm November, 10 Wedgie said...

Welcome to the United States of Awesome Possibilities.

3:52 pm November, 10 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Who dares to to criticize the arm of the bewbie zombie? It has finally found a willing and vacuous victim uponst which it can feast. “BEWBS! I NEED BEWBS!”

3:59 pm November, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

It never occurred to me before, but now I want to go out and grab some random tits. Some might even be female.

4:06 pm November, 10 Douche-douche said...

Helpful disembodied arm is trying to yank the boobies outta dorks way.

4:06 pm November, 10 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

That’s crazy eye and man jaw. Maybe the disembodied arm of Poncho Villa is as confused as I am.

4:23 pm November, 10 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Why do I keep hearing an ooga horn in my head when I look at this?

4:27 pm November, 10 hermit said...

Give Stephanie a break. We’re all just a bit oversensitive.
.
Don’t be fooled. The whole Herman Cain thing is just a brilliant ploy by his campaign to lure some of the Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy voters to cross party lines.

4:41 pm November, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Stephanie, you know I love you, in a totally non gay way of course (Sorry fellas I don’t need to pseudo lezbo it up to get attention. I leave that to the bleeths and real lesbians) but I’m going to have to agree with baffomet on this one. Where is the look of disgust, shock or horror? She’s either cool with it or doesn’t give a shit. And for the record, I think its pretty uncool for RevChad to theoretically massage your pancake titties without your permission. Men are such swines, am I right….other ladies on here besides me and Medusa. Speak up now. I would love to read your thoughts on the matter.

5:03 pm November, 10 Nostradouchus said...

Hey Henry, American Apparel is hiring. Don’t worry about the girl…we’ll keep an eye on her for you.

And by “eye,” I mean “hand.” And by “her,” I mean “her thigh.”

5:07 pm November, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

Also while we’re on the subject of mam cannons, I do hope Best Golden Globes is coming back this year, I didn’t see it listed. I feel after a years worth of observation I can accurately and respectively declare a winner. I have learned so much here. But on respect to fairness, I also think there should be a Peeniest Peen Award as well. I am willing to take on double duty as it were and write it up. Oh yes, I will write it up and then down, and up again…so on and so forth, spellcheck and what not, you get the picture.

5:12 pm November, 10 Jane Austere said...

The good Lord knows I was raised to be a lady, but to listen to my Auntie Percy, it was a miserable failure. Still, I would never stand to have the honorable Mr. Hogbottoms put hands upon my bosom, pancake or otherwise! I feel faint at just the thought. And what with the whalebone corset digging into my woman parts, who could blame me if my womanly assets were no longer in the shape that God intended?
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Not to put too fine a point on it, but a dare say that is what is happening here. The poor woman is near to faint because her corset is too tight, and her uterus must be in her throat. God bless the helping hand that is seeking to loosen her constraints.
– Jane Austere

5:35 pm November, 10 tall guy said...

Dreuche, I’m no wooza, but men objectify erotic pleasure. Their desire is directed towards another person instead of realised within the bounds of self (usually a women, unless they’re gay, which I know nothing about). A man reaches out towards a woman, but he himself remains at the centre of this activity. Feminine flesh is for him prey, and through it he gains access to the qualities or objects he desires, as with any (other) object. His natural instincts tell him that his service to the species is combined with his personal enjoyment.
.
Charles Darwin rolls in his grave.
fuck it, finished work early. Might hit the beach or take the natty little roadster out for a drive along the coast. Sans blond haired bleeth…
Evolution.

5:49 pm November, 10 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Mr. Guy, I know, I was being sarcastic. As I assume you were when you wrote that depressing bit about the working girl and her job at the Mother’s Teat. Because Jesus TF Christ if you were serious man, its time to talk to some real world ladies. Luckily I’m here to answer all your questions, you know, when I’m not suckling at the teat and supporting myself instead of sponging off of some dude or my parents. I don’t have any flower shops within walking distance but occasionally I do step in dogshit at the local park. I do like this whole predator/prey angle you’re working though. Too bad men forgot how to hunt and now expect the woman to do all the footwork. Obviously when the woman chases the man it never ends well, see @RevChad for more details.

6:18 pm November, 10 DarkSock said...

arm?

8:05 pm November, 10 Mr Mustache said...

Good clean fun.

8:10 pm November, 10 Medusa Oblongata said...

Meh, she’s dressed like she’s not after a discussion of Sartre, I’m not surprised people feel free to grope and smooch, and from the looks of it, she’s having a blast. Then she’ll go back to her dorm room, peel off that cum-stained sock that is supposed to be a dress, vomit up the last two appletinis of the night and cry because nobody loves her.
.
Suffragettes.

9:25 pm November, 10 Legedouche said...

Judging by the size of her pupils, I’m going to guess she’s under the influence of a substance that changes the biological reflex of a sudden boob grab from a backhand to a pants-bulging giggle.

11:06 pm November, 10 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

What Medusa said… 🙂

The photo would be more fun if the Hand of the Collective Unconscious did not belong to a chick.

11:53 pm November, 10 Whoop-di-douche said...

Me likey the bright reds and purples.
And that hand that rocks the bra that cradles the boobs.

12:22 am November, 11 Mister Hey said...

Is there a Hot chicks with douchebags iphone app?

1:19 am November, 11 Jacques Doucheteau said...

I hear a sound effect when I see this picture.

1:19 am November, 11 i douche, therefore i am said...

PULL, GAWDAMMIT!

3:59 am November, 11 Douche France said...

Skip the first minute :

You’re welcome.

4:06 am November, 11 DoucheyWallnuts said...

May I be the first person on this thread to call Stephanie a Cunt.

4:36 am November, 11 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

I second the Cunt.
.
And Douche France, thank you for the boner.

4:45 am November, 11 CB Popped said...

http://thechive.com/2011/11/08/paulina-gretzky-is-using-the-twitter-machine-properly-34-photos/

Paulina Gretzky, because once isnt enough.

34 pics of perfection…

5:16 am November, 11 tall guy said...

Ah, come on you blokes, Stephanie’s alright. She’s got conviction.

6:01 am November, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Yeah I’m with Tall Guy, Stephanies got heart. And I’m pretty sure she could kill me with her mind so I say notta cunt.

6:10 am November, 11 Nancy Dreuche said...

Re:CB Popped’s post. Wayne Gretzky’s daughter looks like she is well on her way to becoming LiLo Part 2. So good news for you all, because that means there will be a “tasteful” Playboy spread.
.
.
.
.
Daddy’s Girls

6:46 am November, 11 Douche Springsteen said...

That k.d. lang sure can pull some tail.

6:48 am November, 11 Wheezer said...

I thank CB Popped
for the bounty of boobies
in that hyperlink

6:51 am November, 11 DarkSock said...

Right on, Tall Guy. I have learned to never call women the “C” word*.
.
.
.
.
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*That includes “Cow”, “Couch-Like” and “Cthulhu” as well.
.
.
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Cunts.

6:53 am November, 11 DarkSock said...

I dunno, Nancy; the only way the forth-coming LiLo spread will be “tasteful” is if they cover her slobbering dong tunnel with Cool Whip so it looks like a rabid English Bulldog.
.
.
.
Masturbaters.

6:53 am November, 11 DarkSock said...

Slobbering Dong Tunnel would be a good band name.
.
.
.
Groupies.

7:38 am November, 11 jonezy said...

I was just under the impression someone else “hacked” Stephanie’s monicker- that’s what happens when you don’t have a log in.
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I’m just glad DSock could bring some levity to the thread.
.
.
Boner Scabbards.

12:45 pm November, 11 Stephanie said...

Man it hurts being called a name on the web.
I was sensitive and on a lot of medication. Which felt great one minute and bad the next.
I won’t tell you why I was sick,cause you’ll make fun of me. Don’t let the site go porn,there’s tons of that on other sites you can go to for visual porn and naughty postcards.
I just think women shouldn’t be treated like crap,we’ve all had enough of it,you know. If you want to be with a nice girl,or a woman,why not try something different and treat her with love and respect? You will almost always get everything you want. But not all of the time….read into that all you want. Be an asshole,and you will be lonely for a long time. Bring on the douches,will you?

1:17 pm November, 11 CB Popped said...

Slobbering Dong Funnel also works well….

1:20 pm November, 11 CB Popped said...

Im sure Pauline G. has it rough,,,,

A few of those were shots almost bleethy,,,but others really make up for it.

#24 and #25 in particular,,,,,,,there’s a librarian shot for The Boss, etc.

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