Wednesday, November 2, 2011

It’s… Superherpster!


Look!

At an indie gallery opening in Bensonhurst!

It’s a hipster!

It’s a douchebag!

It’s Superherpster!

No f-ing clue what all these fake glasses are about, but I do know that Herpsterism is one of the sneakiest forms of douchebaggery appearing in 2011.

As to the Herpsterette, pictured here, The Librarian Hott signifiers clashing with potential signs of Indie Bleething are the personification of the douchadox. The moment at which I both desire pooch suckle and yet am repelled by cultural blight on the same contradictory particle/wave duality.

# posted by douchebag1
9:39 am November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

I blame you for the fake glasses craze DB1. You’re on a roll what with unleashing Snookie on us and then doting on the fake glasses librarian hott. Your ode to attractive women behind fake glasses is what started this whole ridiculous fad. And since douchebags are practically needy women who need constant validation and attention they’ve adopted it as well. Better get your trademark on it before someone else claims it. The idiot in the pic looks like his are tattooed on. Pretty much negates the intelligent look he was going for. Awesome.

9:39 am November, 2 baffomet said...

Oh Librarian Hott, please turn towards the camera….

9:39 am November, 2 Indiana Choad and the Temple of Douche said...

Hmmm…How can I show the world that I’m a pretentious, obnoxious wannabe “artist”?
Ohhh, I know, I’ll stick a couple of unused painter’s palettes up on the wall! That will prove my “artist” chops to everyone! Everyone will finally realize I’m a undiscovered genius!

9:43 am November, 2 Wedgie said...

Wash your neck.

9:49 am November, 2 UFO Destroyers said...

Glasses frames with no lenses or at best flat lenses are one thing. This twit has them drawn/painted on his face. Painting uniform or swimsuit on SI models is one thing–but this is total bullshit.

10:38 am November, 2 mcdouglage said...

those aren’t fake glasses per se…. that fuckin douchbag had them tattoed on his face. http://youtu.be/wH1tTlq5-Qk

10:44 am November, 2 tall guy said...

This is trashcan to the head worthy shit. Also, art does not equal a couple of paint palettes on the wall, knob wrenches.

10:48 am November, 2 Vin Douchal said...

Re: face tattoo video
.
Notice that his tattooist was wearing real glasses , you know to see better. The Superherpster is a schmoe and his chick is not cute
.
Thank you for bringing this asshole into my consciousness. My brain is full and something had to be shoved out the back to let this in. I think I lost the Dmaj7 scale on guitar making room for this one …..
.
.
Dick

10:57 am November, 2 douchieo said...

You wouldn’t hit a guy with glasses would you?

10:59 am November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

Well now he’s getting the attention Daddy never gave him. Thanks a lot, this douche’s Dad. Hey parents, I’m sorta tired of yelling at your kids for you, do you think you could do me a solid and pay attention to them. Thanks, bye.

11:06 am November, 2 creature said...

Dweeboy is an inksplot & his dowdy gal pal is a not fresh, glory hole dolly

hey DarkSock, your harlot starlet is a trainwreck

11:10 am November, 2 Jacques Doucheteau said...

$10 says this guy also has a little mustache tattooed on the side of his index finger.

11:21 am November, 2 Hurl Scheibe said...

The Karmic justice here is that whenever he puts on a real pair of glasses or sunglasses, he looks like he has unibrow. What a fecal stain.

11:36 am November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Maybe it’s a run of the mill douchebag wearing a poindexter mask for Halloween?

11:40 am November, 2 baffomet said...

I retract my earlier statement. Librarian garbage, PLEASE just turn away for good.

11:42 am November, 2 Steve said...

Ugh, I’ve lived in Bensonhurst my whole life and yes, the hipsters are starting to work their way down here from Williamsburg. Once that Starbucks opened near my house, I knew it was the beginning of the end.

12:12 pm November, 2 Douche Springsteen said...

My glasses (that I actually need to see) had slipped off a bit as I was perusing the page today and at first it looked like this guy was wearing a gorget and I thought to myself, “wow accessorizing with medieval armor, that’s kinda douchey by trying to be the most outrageous guy at the loft party but at least somewhat original” but then when I slid my glasses back up and saw that it was instead a full-throat tattoo (with the word HOPE figuring into the design) I realized he was just another run-of-the-mill schlub who has thrown in the towel on ever contributing anything worthwhile to society.

12:15 pm November, 2 Wheezer said...

This fucktard obviously wants a Douchie. That way he can show his dad he’s making something of his life.

12:25 pm November, 2 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Steve, hipsters hate Starbucks. Not hip enough, too “corporate”. If one popped up in your hood they’ll react to it like a vegan at a Deli. So in other words, you’re safe.

12:39 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

Sorry, but the Bleeth-hunter’s report is in. That is no librarian hott. That is a pseudo-intellectual, peen-hating, Guggenheim worshiping, part time barista / part time social activist / full time antiestablishmentarian femme-zealot.
.
Beware

12:44 pm November, 2 Dude McCrudeshoes said...

In other words, she will have 100 reasons not to polish your knob: It’s degrading, it’s non-vegan, it upholds traditionalist male/female roles, it promotes global warming, it’s karmically imbalanced with too much yang to the yin, yadda yadda yadda…
.
90% chance her name is Fern
10% chance her name is Tree

2:09 pm November, 2 creature said...

to much discretionary income for this NYCC dropout (spent with poor discretion)

2:10 pm November, 2 DarkSock said...

I’ll help him take those glasses off.
.
With a jagged oyster shell.
Sdsv

2:23 pm November, 2 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Holy shit, it looks like poor Sheldon lost his mind after he got kicked off of his high school’s ice dancing club. You showed ’em Shelly. You showed ’em.

4:14 pm November, 2 Doucheywallnuts said...

All I see is moobs. Actually the caption for this photo could be “Moobs Through a T-Shirt.”
.
Also, this bleeth officially killed the glasses look.

4:29 pm November, 2 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

The Douchadox is, inevitably, a bitch.

6:15 pm November, 2 Chris in 'Baghdad said...

MEMO to Herpster: GREAT idea with the neck-tatt. Shoe-in for future CEO of Chase Manhattan Bank…OOPS! I meant, lifelong career at Jiffy Lube, unless you are not mechanically inclined..if that is the case, substitute Wal-Mart for Jiffy Lube. Do NOT pass GO, do NOT collect $200. Go straight to Loser Street.

7:41 pm November, 2 Whoop-di-douche said...

He sure is a pale gray version of what should be color-infused, like some sorta prematurely washed-out German pseudointellectual package of old bacon turned flat and expired seven months ago.
In other words, porch swine.

7:56 pm November, 2 idfma said...

I survived the oompa prompas, the poopaloompa, the metaphysical hooligan, stackhouse, and hjbbad, but this, this is a crime against all that is reasonable and human. Whoever dibbed “Most Trashcan to the Head Worthy” this is your man–I think tall guy already pointed that out
. Wait
.
Dark Sock may be on to something–do we need a new category–“Most Worthy of Tattoo Removal with a Jagged Oyster Shell”? With the Herpsters making a surge in 2011, it might just be time.
.
Or how about we just disembowel him with a jagged oyster shell, and then take a trashcan to his head while we watch him bleed to death?
.
This is just fucking disgusting.

8:30 pm November, 2 Steve L. said...

everyone’s face can look good in side view.
.
however, not everyone’s boobs can look good in side view.
.
ka-ching!

8:31 pm November, 2 Steve L. said...

Herpster looks like he’s about to die from some neck-related disease.

9:02 pm November, 2 Nostradouchus said...

Which one is the chick? The one on the left has the biggest boobs.

9:08 pm November, 2 Stephanie said...

You can tattoo your neck prison style,but you still look like Bill Gates with a bad haircut.

10:22 pm November, 2 Medusa Oblongata said...

Jack Dracula called. He’s gonna come back from the dead and take the honor of removing that tattoo with a jagged oyster shell. If your job is not tattoo artist/circus freak, getting this done is not even douchey, it’s fucking retarded.

11:31 pm November, 2 CB Popped said...

Jagged Oyster Shell Removal approved, unless the kid himself is an ink artist.
Eyeglasses tat is a desperate sign of the times either way.

Good looking out Vin D, she is smoke and mirrors.

9:28 am November, 3 kneejerk said...

I’ll keep it simple. Whatta fucking asshole

8:48 pm November, 3 Blah said...

The worst thing about that guy is the haircut he got at the drive-thru window at Supercuts.

11:28 am November, 4 Adam said...

It was part of a viral ad campaign from Ray Ban.
http://www.viralblog.com/online-social-video/rayban-guy-has-glasses-tattooed-on-his-face/

8:19 am November, 5 morty said...

Little homos like this one are the result of the “anti-bullying” horseshit so prevalent in schools today. If this dweeb would have had has ass beat once or twice by some redneck jock, guarantee he might be a regular, normal person. Instead, he’s a bitch-titted queen.

8:26 am November, 7 hatealldouches said...

Props to Whoop-di-douche….. “Old bacon tuned flat”. I was at a total loss for words when I saw this SuperHerpster, but thankfully, you said it for me. Outstanding!

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