Sunday, November 6, 2011

Random Guy Takes The Fist Pump Back

Here’s what too much time in between semesters at Columbia University can produce.

# posted by douchebag1
7:06 am November, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Plinky’s Mom had bigger mutton chops than Random Guy.

7:28 am November, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

^Good morning Rev

7:31 am November, 6 Et Tu Douche? said...

Random guy seems alright in my book, at least he’s on the side of mock.

9:31 am November, 6 Gaaah! said...

Fascinating. He has added stupidity to irony and created silliness. Is this something like adding blue to yellow and getting green?

9:59 am November, 6 DoucheyWallnuts said...

Enjoyable for the first part but would be much better if it was about 45 seconds shorter.

10:17 am November, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Fucking nerve pain kept me awake all night. The only sleep I enjoyed was a few brief moments of psychedelic dream while I nodded off for a few seconds while watching X-Men. I awoke from a horrible car accident in which my hands and feet were crushed. My doctor was the lovely Famke Janssen. She assured me that I would be fine after I received my treatment. Rogue, Storm, and Mystique entered the cavernous room and reassured me that the doctor was correct. They began to undress to some Star trek music when David Cassidy appeared naked. Things were going to get bad I thought. So David is singing some Monkees song while riding an electric motorized Razor scooter telling the girls to come on and get happy. So the girls are naked and I’m sure I had a full-on bone when it got a bit weird. The girls started to drop sweet nuggets of turd on each others tongues which I would have found immensely erotic and profane. So Captain Picard comes along and says what are you ladies doing to this man. It’s all wrong. At which point the girls started smearing the faeces from their spendidly tight star puckers all over me. I though I’d get lucky after this. I closed my eyes waiting for the sweet scat to reach my tongue. Well sweet fuck a huge crap fell in my mouth. I opens my dream eyes to see Professor Xavier squatting over my face and woke up to find that again my old dog had farted in my face while I was sleeping. Fuck.

10:24 am November, 6 idfma said...

As long as he takes care of those sideburns, I can live with a notta, but he needs to get on that shit soon, ’cause those sideburns were pretty distracting.

11:08 am November, 6 creature said...

random guy can get started on taking his dignity back, now

11:23 am November, 6 hermit said...

Rev, I have two words:
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Ny……………quil

11:30 am November, 6 hermit said...

Actually I’m more a recreational Nyquil user, damn it tastes good. I use it in recipes instead of red wine or corn syrup.
As a sleep aid, it really isn’t worth a shit.
.
On the plus side, I haven’t coughed for over seven years.

11:43 am November, 6 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

^I just bought a case of strawberry. Strange looks from the Chinese pharmacist. I just want some percocets again, fucking Sikh turban neurologist. Mother Weed just isn’t working anymore for sleep but I smile a lot.

11:49 am November, 6 creature said...

^jerk off with wooly mittens turned inside out…if you have the lights off, it’s like sexing up a yeti & quite comfortingi….or so I’m told

3:30 pm November, 6 Wheezer said...

He must have filmed this on a Thursday. And for what it’s worth, he’s not a Jew lawyer.
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Other than that, I got nothin’. I think I need to scrounge up the resin from Hermit’s and RevChad’s bong and see what that does for me.

3:36 pm November, 6 Nancy Dreuche said...

Nice dolls douche.
.
ReaChad, try Theraflu Nightime but triple the suggested dose. Also you might want to give exercise a try. And um, get a job or something.

5:00 pm November, 6 hermit said...

Wheezer,
The evil weed has it’s drawbacks. You won’t find me remembering 2009 Stackhouse “fist pump the shit out of thursday,” quotes.
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.
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What day is it?

6:39 pm November, 6 Nostradouchus said...

Painful.

7:16 pm November, 6 tall guy said...

Geez, Kroeger, don’t cark it just yet. The Douchies need you!

2:17 am November, 7 Wheezer said...

Hermit, forgetting Stacky may be exactly why I’m interested in those leftovers.

8:03 am November, 7 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

@ Rev Chad
.
Try melatonin. My quack suggested taking 3 mg a night for sleep. Ya well, what did he know. Take twice, naw fucck it, three times that along with some DiSorrono or some fine cognac. Put The English Patient on the telly and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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Wait, what was I talking about?

12:31 pm November, 7 Mary said...

I know this guy!! He’s not a douche!! Lmao but this is extremely funny!!! haha

1:37 pm November, 7 Chris said...

This guy is my friend, and you guys are only people who frequent Hot Chicks With Douchebags Headquarters. (I’ve only been here once.)

6:29 pm November, 7 Nancy Dreuche said...

^What is it? State the obvious day? Thanks Chris, I lol’ed at your website.

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