Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Reader Mail: Mike and Mandy From High School


Reader Jeff writes in with a hypothetical update on everyone’s high school power couple gone tragically wrong:

—–
In case you were wondering what happened to Mike and Mandy from High School…

Mandy finally decided on that boob job, and Mike decided to become a homicidal maniac.

They are very happy, and running a karaoke business in Lawrence, KS.
——-

Even homicidal maniacs gotta eat.

# posted by douchebag1
9:55 am November, 16 Steve said...

The tattoo on Mike’s arm? What this bitch’s face’ll look like if she tries to run away like the last one.

10:01 am November, 16 Blind Squirrel said...

Tattoo of Vishnu as an acid tripping zombie.

Stay classy, San Diego.

10:11 am November, 16 Doucheywallnuts said...

His CD collection over his left shoulder belies Skippy SleeveTatt’s badass posturing. “Air Supply’s Greatest Hits,” “Judy Garland Sings Cole Porter,” “Demi Lovato Sings the Songs of Disney,” “I’ll Have a Bieber Christmas,” “The Soundtrack From Phantom of the Opera,” and “The Cast of Glee; Season 1.”

10:19 am November, 16 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

Shit, get rid of the fuccen cocckhawk, shitty tatt, and the wife beater and you have me smiling for the camera on a good day. And as of this past week there haven’t been any.
.
As most of you (at least the regs) know I teach at a “unique” institution of higher learning. Last week a student (my advisee and kid who did research with me) committed suicide. This ain’t no fucking joke so don’t post stupid shit about it. Kid was massively bright and had everything going for him and then he went and did the most stupid and selfish thing anyone can do. So if anyone still wants to talk about binge drinking I’m sure I got you beat. At least for the past week. I have no idea where I’m going with this or why I’m even bothering to post about it so I’ll just end it here. Fuck I’m tired…

10:23 am November, 16 Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt said...

That dress looks like the splooge marks I’d leave on her black dress.
.
That arm looks like the windshield-washer bile I’d puke up on an aborted suicide attempt.

10:24 am November, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

This douche has a picture of a beat up Smurfette on his deltoid. Will wonders ever cease? That sucks that the Greico virus has spread to Kansas.

10:29 am November, 16 Findertweet said...

Mia Sorvino, her post Oscar career in heavy decline, decides to buy some sweater puppies.

10:44 am November, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

Sorry to hear about that Doc B. You definitely win Shittiest Week. I will be binge drinking water all day today. Woo.

10:45 am November, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

@Dr. Bunsen
.
That’s a drag man. You never know what is going on in the heads of those around you.
.
IS that guy really sporting a tat from one of those Avatar creatures? I hope not for the sake of all that is unholy.

10:46 am November, 16 Vin Douchal said...

Doc, go handle the important things. We’ll continue the fight ’til you’re back.
.
Fer instance, Celebrity Camel Toe

10:47 am November, 16 Vin Douchal said...

And this:

10:52 am November, 16 Choad The Douche Sprocket said...

Mandy — fake tits or not — is in her prime, needs-to-be-banged time.
.
.
.If you stare deeply into her eyes, you can see the back of her head.
.
.
.That will make things easier.

11:01 am November, 16 IL Douché said...

Wikaad ink yo! I almost picked Kali (‘the black one’) Hindu mother goddess, symbol of dissolution and destruction ma self. Got this instead.

11:22 am November, 16 Magnum Douche P.I. said...

Mindy is displaying the Mayan Eye of Took Too Many of Mike’s “Shut your mouth” Punches to the Head. Looks like some diminished mental capacity going on there.
.
.
And Dr. BHD, sorry to hear that. Don’t blame yourself. Keep strong, fellow mocker !

11:26 am November, 16 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mandy has a sly little mouth that begs to be gag-fucked before she is ass-reamed from behind screaming to be treated like a whore before you grab her hair and start whacking her forehead into the wall.
.
Is it wrong that I visualize this? I have the utmost respect for dirty whores. Am I right Nancy D, you dirty little cum monkey.

11:39 am November, 16 SonnyChibaChoad said...

@Dr. BunsenHD…hang in there

brothermocker…

11:47 am November, 16 tall guy said...

Not sure if you’ve the same expression over there, but this idiot exemplifies the rather self-explanatory term: try-hard.

Doc, really sorry to hear of your grieving, mate. Know that your fellow ‘Bagsters and I sincerely care about you in your time of sorrow.

12:00 pm November, 16 Nancy Dreuche said...

@Rev, you visualize this to counter balance the lack of power you have in your real life as a house husband. Forced to take on the role of nurturer and interior decorator its only natural that your rage and aggression take form in fantasies where you are the one in control. So, what’s for dinner tonight?

12:10 pm November, 16 Collaz B. Popped said...

Ok, this guy has a dildonic expression on his face.

She has the “Im not getting fucked properly” expression on her face.

12:15 pm November, 16 Wheezer said...

I didn’t know the rotting Amy Winehouse turned herself into a Smurf.
.
Mandy spent so much for her new boobies that she couldn’t afford a full dress. I’m not sure I say that to mock or just as…..observation. Yeah, that’s what I meant.
.
.
.
And cheers to you, Doc Bunsen, in hopes of having a better week. Sorry to hear about your student. That absolutely sucks.

12:22 pm November, 16 RAPETIME said...

I like how this McDonalds Counter Commando is trying to look all hard and shit for the camera.

Those burgers won’t cook themselves, Mike. Get back to work. Mandy and I will find something to do while you’re gone.

12:33 pm November, 16 Stephanie said...

Jesus,it’s like putting the wrong two animal breeds in one cage and they don’t get along.

12:52 pm November, 16 Douchble Helix said...

Sorry for your loss, Doc.

1:15 pm November, 16 Capt. James T. Douche said...

Hang in there Doc, my ex lost her brother the same way, really cool guy too, take care fellow mocker.

Travis Bickle with a tattoo of the bad guy from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom… you betrayed Shiva ya cock yodeler!!!

I have a sneaking suspicion rolling over and seeing her fresh in the morning is quite a sight!

1:53 pm November, 16 morty said...

I’m guessing she has Palsy, and he’s a homosexual.

2:01 pm November, 16 troy tempest said...

Doc – I dig. Much sympathy.

And that chick has one of the most vacuous stares I’ve seen on this site, ever. when you put her in a cross wind, her head whistles.

2:44 pm November, 16 Et Tu Douche? said...

@Doc,
Stay strong!!!
@ Rev
That was too funny, sorry Nancy D.

1:18 am November, 17 Nostradouchus said...

Avatar tat.

10:45 am November, 17 Douchie Spellcheck said...

Dear Doc Bunsen,

That’s terrible news. Even the people with the brightest futures are sometimes inexplicably depressed. It’s a tragedy. Best wishes.

11:23 am November, 18 Tanath said...

Mike? It is you!

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